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Zhang Zongchang (1881 – 3 September 1932) was a Chinese warlord in Shandong in the early 20th century. Time dubbed him China's "basest warlord".
Zhang was born in 1881 in Yi County (now Laizhou) in Shandong. His family was poor. Zhang's father worked as head shaver and trumpeter, and was an alcoholic. His mother was an exorcist and "practicing witch".
Zhang loved to boast about the size of his *****, which become part of his legend. He was a "well-known womanizer" and polygamist. At the height of his power, he had some 30 to 50 concubines of different nationalities, who were given numbers since he could not remember their names nor speak their language. His concubines included Chinese, Japanese, Russians, Koreans, Mongolians and at least one American.
Zhang reportedly ate meat of black Chow Chow dogs every day, as it was popularly believed at the time that this meat would boost a man's virility.
Nicknames and titles
In course of his career, Zhang gained a great number of nicknames, most of them derogatory:
"Dogmeat General": The name was based on his preference for a Chinese brand of tonic known as "dogmeat". or from his addiction to the high stakes gambling game paijiu, popularly known as "eating dog meat."
"Monster"
"Lanky General"
"Old Eighty-Six": The origin of this nickname is unclear. According to rumour it either referred to his height or to the length of his *****, which was said to measure up to a pile of 86 Mexican silver dollars when erect. Mexican silver dollars were a common currency in China at the time.
"Three Don't Knows": Based on Zhang's alleged lack of knowledge about how much money he had, how many soldiers, and how many women in his harem.
"72-Cannon Chang": This nickname might also have been connected to the alleged length of his *****.
"Chang of Shantung" by the foreign press
"Great General of Justice and Might": a title he awarded to himself.
"The General with three long legs" by Shanghai's prostitutes in reference to his *****' length.
Zhang is now remembered best by modern Chinese for his god-awful poetry.
"Untitled"
If you were to ask me how many women I have,
I wouldn't know either.
Yesterday, a child called me dad,
I didn't know which one was his mom?
"The Ballad of Bastards"
You tell me to do this,
You tell me to do that.
You're all a bunch of little bastards,
I'll do all your mothers.
"Roaming Mt. Tai"
From afar, Mt. Tai is black and hazy,
Its top is slender and bottom is large.
If you were to flip Mt. Tai upside-down,
Its bottom would be slender and top would be large.
"Prayer for Rain"
The Jade Emperor's (God) last name is also Zhang,
So why does he bring trouble to Zhang Zongchang?
If it doesn't rain in three days,
I'll first climb up the heavenly Dragon Palace,
Then I'll blast your f***ing a** open.
In summer 1927, a famine struck Shandong particularly hard, and Zhang Zongchang was reported to have gone into a temple of the Dragon King to pray for rain. When this failed to improve the situation, Zhang returned to the temple. In his fury, he slapped the Dragon King's statue several times, and ordered his artillery to shoot into the sky for several hours.
