The difference between being young and old.

[Old Hipster]

My mom was the kindest, most patient & gentle person, never seemed to show anything but her lovely side. Not even Alzheimers affected that. She made little or no sense the last few yrs, but it never changed her very easy going disposition.

My dad was a totally a different story --a devoted family man -- didn't drink or chase women, but a good deal of the time he was on the grouchy side. He had an altogether different personality than my mom -- as did one of my aunts, my mom's sister. They were a bit on the ill-tempered side (putting it mildly,) as I remember them. Age had nothing to do with it.

As for most of our parent/g'parents, it wasn't easy. But my dad's father left home when he was 15 for another woman. As an only child w/a mother who had no job, and no chance of getting one back in those days, he assumed far more responsibility than he should have. He carried the resentment w/him in adulthood. I understand, it just didn't make it easy.

After being widow & widower for over 10 yrs, at age 78 my mom remarried my bitchy aunt's husband -- my uncle by marriage for 50+ yrs (and hear it's very common these days with seniors since they've already bonded.)

My beloved stepdad had the same mild-mannered and endearing personality my mom did and I am so grateful the last 10 yrs of their life was a joy for both of them..'til mom's disease required being moved into a care facility. What a gutwrenching time that was for all of us! She lived 5 more years and he never missed a wk-end visiting her tho he lived 75 miles away and she didn't know any of us at the end, but he never stopped telling her how much he loved her. Writing it brings big tears to my eyes. What a beautiful love story, they met their perfect match. I miss them beyond description -- something I know you can all relate to with departed loved ones.

Gee Katy, it makes me cry just reading this. I think it is so wonderful your mom got together with your Uncle and they found some joy in each other.

And your Dad, well I know what it is like to carry baggage with you from your childhood. Some of us can just shove those bags away in some dark musty corner and rarely think about it, while others of us seem to have those bags packed and ready, always near us and can't seem to every store them away.

So far we are extremely fortunate in our family there has never been any Alzheimer's, but I have many friends who have dealt with and are dealing with their mother's and Alzheimer.

And I have a life long friend, who is my age, 61 and she was diagnosed with Alzheimer when she was 57, and she is slowly disappearing. It is so heartbreaking.

 

[TICA]

My two grandmas, one was the nicest woman I ever met, I can't ever remember her saying a bad word about anybody and she had a really rough life, but I always remember her being so happy and caring and loving. WAH!! I miss my grandma Mabel, (it's hard to type with tears in your eyes)

Ok, meanwhile..... my other grandma, quite franking was a selfish old crank and I remember as she got older, my aunts would say "oh she is just getting old and bitchy", er no, she was always that way, it was just getting worse with age.

We could be sisters! My mother's mother was the kindest person I've ever known. She and my Grandfather lived with us during the winter months and in the summer, she took all of us kids to her home on the ocean. She was the one who sat with us when we were sick and made us laugh when we weren't. I miss her every day.

My father's mother was a cranky old bit**. She never like any of her grandchildren and had no problem hiding it. Dad always said to give her a kiss when she was leaving our house, so we did although we didn't like it and neither did she.

 

[RedRibbons]

I really was very late graying, but how would one know when I've been regularly having it colored all my life to dark blonde tones? I was coasting along feeling good about no gray for years and talking to my hairdresser about it one visit. She kinda smiled and told me it might be time to change my glasses. I got up close to the mirror and OMG, it had gone from none to almost all gray!!! That's okay, instead of only getting heavy blonde highlights now, I also get medium brown lowlights and cover those suckers right up! It really does take years off.

My friend decided to let her brown color grow out and go gray. It didn't make her look her age, it added 10 years. She's a natural looking light brown again, didn't take long.

It's so sad when no one will tell some of the ladies who color at home that the dye is too dark -- and it looks like black shoe polish. Put that with a face over 60 and it's not a pretty sight. No one's hair is one color and the very dark shows up the worst! Lighter colors are less aging according to all the experts I've heard. Very dark hair, for anyone over 60 who may still be blessed with it, casts aging shadows they say. Remember Liz Taylor going from jet black to much lighter blondish tones? I heard her interview w/Barbara Walters and she said that was the reason.

I started getting gray hair in my middle 30's, I did not like it on myself. my natural color is brown hair with auburn highlights, so I colored it black, and it looked good back then. And, you are right about the lighter colors. I started coloring my hair a light auburn a few years ago. I like it. I also have green eyes, and am half Irish, so this color seems to suit me.

 

[RedRibbons]

I would also like to say that I do not believe there is any excuse for being rude. I was raised to have manners, and I do believe I am a polite person, as long as people are polite to me. And, I have no problem calling out a rude person, no matter what their age.

 

[Moss]

As a young Lad, I looked and listened for the Magic in the stories told by older generations; and these days it's my turn to create that Magic for others.

Hoping and Dreaming hurts no-one; it keeps you feeling young, even though your looking older.

 

[Katybug]

OLD HIPSTER: And I have a life long friend, who is my age, 61 and she was diagnosed with Alzheimer when she was 57, and she is slowly disappearing. It is so heartbreaking.

It is the saddest thing, OH, just watching them disappear before your eyes. Strangely enough, your friend was the same age (57) as my aunt when diagnosed and by 62 she had to be put in a home, as she was a wanderer. As you probably know, some are, some aren't wanderers, but they must be confined if they are so that you can keep up with them. And meds didn't help her at all, as they did my mom.

Mother was 84 when she was diagnosed and you could barely tell she had it the first few years as the med Aricept helped more than I can say. It obviously doesn't work for everyone, but it gave her back to us and allowed her to think relatively clearly -- nothing short of a miracle for us, and what joy! But, it wears off all too quickly. She got 5 good yrs out of it and I cherish them so much.

My heart goes out to your friend's family and those who play a part in her life, as they are the ones who suffer the most in watching her downhill progression. Breaks your heart.