The Dirty Secret About Women's Retirement

@Pecos Question about the SBP. This is different than a pension from a corporation? Or is the SBP in addition to a military pension? I am totally ignorant about this. I have never heard of SBP. Can you expound a little?
The SBP ( survived benefit program) for military retirees is the means by which the retiree can ensure that their spouse continues to receive a portion of their retired pay after they pass. If they do not participate, the spouse will get nothing after the death of the military member.
Corporations often have a similar program as will.
 

The SBP ( survived benefit program) for military retirees is the means by which the retiree can ensure that their spouse continues to receive a portion of their retired pay after they pass. If they do not participate, the spouse will get nothing after the death of the military member.
Corporations often have a similar program as will.
The pension at my company operates a little differently. At retirement, you decide how much you want your spouse to receive after your death. 50%, 60%, or whatever percent you want. If you decide on a higher percentage for the spouse after your death, you receive a lesser amount of pension while you are alive. We don't have to pay in anything after retiring. We have already paid into our pensions while we were working.

So the concept of paying into the SBP after retirement was a little confusing.
 
The pension at my company operates a little differently. At retirement, you decide how much you want your spouse to receive after your death. 50%, 60%, or whatever percent you want. If you decide on a higher percentage for the spouse after your death, you receive a lesser amount of pension while you are alive. We don't have to pay in anything after retiring. We have already paid into our pensions while we were working.

So the concept of paying into the SBP after retirement was a little confusing.
Ok, I see where you are coming from. I was counting the reduction to retirement pay I receive now as a payment. My pay reduction comes to an end after 30 years. But otherwise your system and mine operate the same.
I will get a $400 increase later this year when my 30 year payments come to an end.
 

When I was growing up, my mother took care of all the finances and made all the financial decisions even though she was the stay-at-home mom with 6 kids. My dad seemed perfectly content to let her make all the decisions.

When I married, we had joint checking, not separate accounts and I took the role of bill paying, probably because I saw my mom do that. I worked for most of my married life and contributed to a 401k in every job I had. I always thought it was important for a woman to have money in her own name separate from her husband. Now, I have three 401k's from different jobs and hubby has a couple more than I do. I have my own pension that we will live on solely for the next couple of years until we hit 65.

While I don't see us ever separating and I look forward to retiring together, I still like seeing my money work for me in my 401ks. It gives me a feeling of accomplishment.
Deservedly so! Well done. I got a pension and 401Ks weren't offered but Deferred Compensation was. I took advantage of that for only two years before I retired but had them take the max from my pay (20%). I had private investments mostly in Roths and one small traditional IRA. Although I could live off my Divs & Caps, it's not necessary to take any distributions at all because my pension and SS more than cover my monthly expenses including extras.
 
80% of married men die married , 80% of married women die alone .

Women Better know what is going on or they can be prime candidates for poor advice .

My wife lost her first husband ...she had no idea about any of the investments her husband dropped in her lap .

So she went to the person she trusted , the guy at her bank.

He put her in all dot com and tech and when the smoke cleared half her savings was gone.


as if we didn't know it ,women are different creatures than men. they think different ,have different needs ,wants and requirements.

any good financial planner will tell you: men are more interested in growing wealth , they care about allocations ,investments , getting the biggest bang for the buck ( no pun intended),beating indexes , etc .


women clients are different as far as what brought them to that planners office and it is nothing like the mans reason. a mans reason is usually facts, figures and greed to increase wealth , a womens reason is she has a story to tell. ( don't they always?) ha ha

women have very different concerns and it is usually centered around the fact they have visions of being alone eventually if they are not already alone and fear being the proverbial homeless bag lady under the bridge after they out lived their money. women want security.

women live longer than men , a big point when planning but more important while 80% of all men who are married die married ,80% of all women die alone. I think that sentence requires reading a 2nd time as there is a huge difference in situations for a woman.

women usually don't like to take on much volatility,especially a widow who just lost a social security check or a woman alone .

So every woman needs to know what is going on with the finances and if they are uncomfortable with what their partner is doing speak up.

To many spouses keep their partners uninvolved and uneducated on the subject and that is bad when that partner gets a pile of investments they don’t understand or want dropped in their lap
 
@mathjak107 . I was waiting for your take on this. Good points.
"To many spouses keep their partners uninvolved and uneducated on the subject and that is bad when that partner gets a pile of investments they don’t understand or want dropped in their lap"
Or when they find out their husbands squandered all their money and/or made bad investments.

Love
 
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What I've been finding in the couples I know, is people, husbands and wives both, seem to be aware of the fact that they should be preparing, both financially & in other ways, for their old age or the remaining spouse's old age, but seem to be in denial about it, refusing to accept the fact that something should be done; they all (incl. my Huzz) are acting and thinking as if they're still 45. Grown kids, financial advisors, younger-than-they siblings, everybody, is trying to tell them and they are not listening (especially the men usually).
 
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What I've been finding in the couples I know, is people, husbands and wives both, seem to be aware of the fact that they should be preparing, both financially & in other ways, for their old age or the remaining spouse's old age, but seem to be in denial about it, refusing to accept the fact that something should be done; they all (incl. my Huzz) are acting and thinking as if they're still 45. Grown kids, financial advisors, younger-than-they siblings, everybody, is trying to tell them and they are not listening (especially the men usually).
I find that I agree with you, some of the decisions that my fellow men make are shockingly short sighted, and sometimes even selfish.
 
I find that I agree with you, some of the decisions that my fellow men make are shockingly short sighted, and sometimes even selfish.
And it doesn't help that this society, here in the U.S. anyway, really stresses that the still-in-your-prime, money-making lifestyle is the only way "successful," "real" men are supposed to be. A study was done recently where they asked elderly men in the U.S. and parts of Europe what they were proudest of about themselves. IIRC, the German guys ( and I think some of the other northern Europeans) were proudest of how physically strong they still were; the French guys were proudest of how they could still have sex with their wives (or girlfriends); the Italian guys were proudest of how many kids and grandkids (espec. male ones) they had; the British guys were proudest of how they could still drink younger guys under the table. What were the U.S. elderly guys proudest of? How much money they'd made and if they could still drive. Money and machines rule here in the U.S, I guess.
 
And it doesn't help that this society, here in the U.S. anyway, really stresses that the still-in-your-prime, money-making lifestyle is the only way "successful," "real" men are supposed to be. A study was done recently where they asked elderly men in the U.S. and parts of Europe what they were proudest of about themselves. IIRC, the German guys ( and I think some of the other northern Europeans) were proudest of how physically strong they still were; the French guys were proudest of how they could still have sex with their wives (or girlfriends); the Italian guys were proudest of how many kids and grandkids (espec. male ones) they had; the British guys were proudest of how they could still drink younger guys under the table. What were the U.S. elderly guys proudest of? How much money they'd made and if they could still drive. Money and machines rule here in the U.S, I guess.
I agree and it is to our detriment. My wife watches out for me like a “Junkyard Dog” and at least part of her motivation is that she knows that I have her best interests and security in mind. And I love her.

The support that she has provided to me over the last 2 1/2 years of this cancer treatment has been constant and at times fairly demanding. I have been shocked by how many men and women abandon their spouses when something like this happened and I have concluded that paying attention to each other’s financial security plays into the equation.
 
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What I've been finding in the couples I know, is people, husbands and wives both, seem to be aware of the fact that they should be preparing, both financially & in other ways, for their old age or the remaining spouse's old age, but seem to be in denial about it, refusing to accept the fact that something should be done; they all (incl. my Huzz) are acting and thinking as if they're still 45. Grown kids, financial advisors, younger-than-they siblings, everybody, is trying to tell them and they are not listening (especially the men usually).
Officer, I think part of it is laziness, part of it is a fear of tackling financial and estate issues. Some people are even afraid to talk about financial matters. The main thing that drew me and kept me on this forum (at first) was the financial threads and members being fairly open about discussing their finances. Of course what you said...denial is a part of it as well. There's nothing more pitiful than a broke a*s old person, so God help the ones who refuse to listen and neglect to prepare. I hope your husband's unwillingness to do what's necessary does not leave you in a bad position my friend!
 
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Agree with mathjak (as usual!). My MIL could have been the poster child for an elderly woman ripe for scamming. Totally bewildered as to why anyone would or could deliberately choose to injure/scam/hurt anybody else. Smile and be friendly; that automatically made you a good person in her eyes.

Fortunately, once widowed her Asian culture made her listen to her son (my Spouse), who listens to me about financial and legal matters as I'm the one with the banking/insurance background and actually manage the money.

She was house-rich and cash-poor until she finally decided to take our advice and sell the house. (thank goodness!!) We researched and chose an independent CFP firm to handle her money. Spouse is an only child and we have no children, so we were worried if anything happened to us. She had no relatives close by any longer and few friends left.

We were careful to pick a firm that had considerable experience in helping elderly clients, plus she hit it off like gangbusters with the founder, who absolutely adored her. Fortunately, she passed away peacefully a few years ago, but it was reassuring that we knew the CFP firm would give good advice to the successor trustee if we were no longer around to direct.
 


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