The elderly don't need handling with kid gloves!

J

Justme

Senior Member
All too often some people seem to think the elderly need treating differently to those who are younger. I think this is unpleasant and patronising. If they have the full use of their mental faculties, they are like they ever were, nice, nasty or somewhere in between.

An elderly (85) neighbour of ours pops in from time to time; my husband and I get on with her very well. She reminds me of my maternal Grandmother of whom I was fond. This lady has all her marbles and tells it like it is, which we like. I can be rude to her in a jokey way, and she to me, and we both think it hilarious. Yesterday when she came round she was saying that if she lost her ability to care for her own personal needs she wouldn't wish to live any longer. I told her to give me the heads up and I would be more than happy to put her out of her misery with a pillow over her face. She promised to be sure to let me know!:D

I know my children will continue to treat me in the same way as they always do, jokey 'rude', which is great.:D

How do you like to be treated, by those who are younger than you?
 

It's strange..the number of people I have promised to ''put a pillow over their faces'' when they became feeble...I would be a serial killer..
 

I have to laugh.... You are so right... As a nurse, I have seen it... The elderly are talked down to and they just assume they are senile.. They go to the kids for consent for procedures.. when the elderly patient is more than able to sign her/his own consent and decide for themselves if they want a particular treatment or not. I have on more than one occasion told nurses and docs.. "Hey.. she is oriented and alert.. she can decide her medical care herself.. why are you going to the kids?"

The funniest thing I have seen...... A young whippersnapper doc... I refer to them as "pups" went into a room of a very old and frail woman. His started speaking in a voice that could be heard all the way down the hall.. and talking almost how you would speak to a child.. The little lady looked at him and said.." Young man, I am more than able to understand words greater than 2 sylables... I also am not deaf... STOP SHOUTING AT ME!" I had burst out laughing.. and gave her a high five..
 
QuickSilver said:
I have to laugh.... You are so right... As a nurse, I have seen it... The elderly are talked down to and they just assume they are senile.. They go to the kids for consent for procedures.. when the elderly patient is more than able to sign her/his own consent and decide for themselves if they want a particular treatment or not. I have on more than one occasion told nurses and docs.. "Hey.. she is oriented and alert.. she can decide her medical care herself.. why are you going to the kids?"

The funniest thing I have seen...... A young whippersnapper doc... I refer to them as "pups" went into a room of a very old and frail woman. His started speaking in a voice that could be heard all the way down the hall.. and talking almost how you would speak to a child.. The little lady looked at him and said.." Young man, I am more than able to understand words greater than 2 sylables... I also am not deaf... STOP SHOUTING AT ME!" I had burst out laughing.. and gave her a high five..
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LOL! I love elderly people who are blunt!
 
Twixie said:
Old people usually are blunt..they don't have the time to waste on niceties..besides, they've seen it all!
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True. My last job before retirement was working with the elderly. Loved it! When I told one of my clients who was about 94 at the time that my son and his gf had a baby, she said oh they don't bother with marriage any more...no big deal. Ha!
 
My husband (67) had half his brain trashed after a subarachnoid haemorrhage in 2006. I never pity him, and tell him like it is, just as I would have done before his illness. He doesn't always like it, but I know he would hate it if I treated him in a patronising way.
 
We're all talking about the elderly and old people,they are seniors like the rest of us on here, right?
Is there an age limit on here that Im not aware of?
 
Well, being a former EMT, where I had to sometimes take elderly people to the ER and working for some years for an Elderly Care Company, I will say this........some elderly must be handled with ease. Some of us with much less "ease", but still with some "ease".

Wife and I are in our mid 60's, not in our 30's, 40's or early 50's, so we'd want to be treated with somewhat more "delicate hands". We sometimes act much younger than we are, but there are times that our bodies definitely remind us that we are in our mid-60's and we have to respect that.

I really don't mind it when someone treats me my age, that shows "respect" towards me as an older person. However, since wife and I are both fairly active and I have that "outgoing" personality, we really don't get treated as "old" that often. Heck, there are times that I have to remind myself that I'm 65 years old and can't do some things that I did years ago.
 
After reading this (in red below), I really had to say to myself "WHAT?????" My wife thought the same way when I read it to her. Anyway, it's NOT something I've read in this forum before and hope I don't read again.........whether you were joking or not!
IMO, that is.

Justme said:
All too often some people seem to think the elderly need treating differently to those who are younger. I think this is unpleasant and patronising. If they have the full use of their mental faculties, they are like they ever were, nice, nasty or somewhere in between.

An elderly (85) neighbour of ours pops in from time to time; my husband and I get on with her very well. She reminds me of my maternal Grandmother of whom I was fond. This lady has all her marbles and tells it like it is, which we like. I can be rude to her in a jokey way, and she to me, and we both think it hilarious. Yesterday when she came round she was saying that if she lost her ability to care for her own personal needs she wouldn't wish to live any longer. I told her to give me the heads up and I would be more than happy to put her out of her misery with a pillow over her face. She promised to be sure to let me know!:D

I know my children will continue to treat me in the same way as they always do, jokey 'rude', which is great.:D

How do you like to be treated, by those who are younger than you?
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ClassicRockr said:
After reading this (in red below), I really had to say to myself "WHAT?????" My wife thought the same way when I read it to her. Anyway, it's NOT something I've read in this forum before and hope I don't read again.........whether you were joking or not!
IMO, that is.
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Hit me the same way. Not exactly a funny joke!
 
hollydolly said:
I like to be treated by everyone in exactly the same way...politely..
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Same here Hollydolly! I take extra care with the elderly when needed, but not talking down to them or treating them like children, that's ridiculous. Having cared for seriously ill in-laws in their 80s in my home, I had to be gentle with them physically, but they were just regular people like the 40 year olds. I hate to see TV commercials or shows where they always show the old person as being loony and unable to function. :rolleyes:

Rockr, it was clear that Justme was being playful with her older friend, the point was they joked around together despite the age difference.
 
ClassicRockr said:
After reading this (in red below), I really had to say to myself "WHAT?????" My wife thought the same way when I read it to her. Anyway, it's NOT something I've read in this forum before and hope I don't read again.........whether you were joking or not!
IMO, that is.
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I was joking when I told her I would put a pillow over her, a joke she much appreciated. I agreed with her it wasn't worth living if you had to have personal care when you are old! Quality of life is much more important than quantity, and one should be able to take one's own life, with assistance if necessary, if it becomes a burden. I certainly don't apologise for thinking like that!
 

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