The "Granny suite"... anyone living in a semi-detached unit with a child or relative?

[GeorgiaXplant]

Twinkles, you've probably already done this, but if not, at least get yourself on a waiting list for subsidized living for seniors!

I live in a granny flat attached to my DD's house. What's that "stigma" that the OP referred to? I had no idea there was a "stigma" to living in a granny flat. I'm fine here with a bedroom, sitting room, bath, full kitchen, my own heating/cooling systems, my own entrance. I NEVER insert myself into their day-to-day lives, their problems, or anything else. I ONLY give advice or opinions when asked and not always then! When I want company, there's company to be had. When I want to be alone, I can be alone. DD and her family live their own lives in their home; I live mine in my home.

I contribute every month toward my share of utility bills and groceries. Groceries because we often share meals. Rent, as such, no. I paid to have the flat built, and they'll benefit by the increased value of their home when the time comes eventually to sell.

"Semi-detached" sort of describes not just the living quarters, but the "life" quarters as well. The words to Kenny Rogers' song The Gambler, cover living with family well:

You've got to know when to hold 'em, know when to fold 'em, know when to walk away.

So...make darned sure you know what you're getting into, that you'll still have your own independent life, and that you can MYOB and that they can, too! ​

 

[C'est Moi]

i made the mistake of moving in with my kids---i dont have my own room i have to sleep in the living room--i sold my mobile home several years ago and the people who bought it wanted to move in right away so i moved in with my daughter and s il--worse move i ever made my daughter and i get along fine--now i cant find anything i can afford--i am stuck

Twinkles--have you contacted the Housing Authority? (I'm originally from GA and my uncle used to be affiliated with the GHA, which assists people with lower income housing.)

 

[twinkles]

i filled out an application 7 years ago and i am still waiting---i wanted to stay on this part of town i drive on this side of town but the other parts are too crowed-i get along with my sil i dont talk to him not unless i have to

 

[C'est Moi]

i filled out an application 7 years ago and i am still waiting---i wanted to stay on this part of town i drive on this side of town but the other parts are too crowed-i get along with my sil i dont talk to him not unless i have to

Contact your local representative's office and see if they can help.

 

[GeorgiaXplant]

i filled out an application 7 years ago and i am still waiting---i wanted to stay on this part of town i drive on this side of town but the other parts are too crowed-i get along with my sil i dont talk to him not unless i have to

Say yes that you've kept in touch and called (again and again) to see where you are on the waiting list! The squeaky wheel gets the grease. If you applied and have not been in touch since, it's not likely that you'll ever hear from them. Ask and ask and ask. Frequently.

 

[Catlady]

I live in a granny flat attached to my DD's house. I'm fine here with a bedroom, sitting room, bath, full kitchen, my own heating/cooling systems, my own entrance. I NEVER insert myself into their day-to-day lives, their problems, or anything else. I ONLY give advice or opinions when asked and not always then! When I want company, there's company to be had. When I want to be alone, I can be alone. DD and her family live their own lives in their home; I live mine in my home.

I agree with everything you said and I envy your living arrangement. I would love something like that too, BUT I don't really like my SIL and I don't like my daughter's family's lifestyle of living beyond their means and mooching off (both) set of parents. I know I would be unhappy being aware of most every drama going on in their chaotic lives. I'm hoping to stay in my paid-off home and using their inheritance to pay for hired help to keep me living independently until I die. She can have whatever is left but I am done helping them get out of financial problems.

 

[bearcat]

I have a son who owns a beautiful downtown victorian home that was divided by the pervious owners into two suites: the main home, but then a semi-detached extension with its own private entrance, kitchen, washroom, etc. My son rents the suite to students, but has suggested a few times that after some rennovations I might someday like to live there.

I'm enjoying my condominium at the moment (my son's house is nice, but it doesn't have an indoor pool!) but can't decide how I would feel about this.

My son is quite easygoing, I don't think the arrangement would be difficult or patronizing, but, well, you know, there's a bit of a stigma to the "granny suite", I think. Has anyone else been thinking about this as well?

The situations in which people are least likely to have a formal written understanding
often turn out to be those that need them most. People change, things happen. Life and personalities
are not predictable, no matter what past experience suggests.

You're incredibly lucky to even have this option! So many living in tents or homeless shelters.

As for an indoor pool, aren't there other options? Membership at a health club? Perhaps
you could visit as a "guest" of one of your former condo nighbors after you move?

 

[bearcat]

I agree with everything you said and I envy your living arrangement. I would love something like that too, BUT I don't really like my SIL and I don't like my daughter's family's lifestyle of living beyond their means and mooching off (both) set of parents. I know I would be unhappy being aware of most every drama going on in their chaotic lives. I'm hoping to stay in my paid-off home and using their inheritance to pay for hired help to keep me living independently until I die. She can have whatever is left but I am done helping them get out of financial problems.

My brother got a large lump sum of cash, and was being pestered for "loans" from friends he knew would never repay him.
Simple solution. I told him, "when dave asks you again for money, tell him that you will match whatever loan he can get from anyone else."
Since dave is a well known deadbeat, this shuts up dave.

The kids ave grown up in a world where wages have not kept up with the cost of living. Inflation, student loan debt, recessions, outsourcing, bank bailouts, chaos. And a world with a lot more temptations and stresses. Shitty job, shitty boss, so why NOT buy clothes and whatever on a credit card to feel better for a while? not saying it is okay, just that it's understandable.