The Smartphone Volume Strategy. Forget tapping and swiping gently; smart devices demand intense physical effort.
Old dodderers like me, press the touchscreen with enough mechanical force to shatter a walnut, fully convinced that, how hard you press, dictates how well the internet works.
Sometimes my printer takes on a life of it's own, inanimate objects do that. If the printer jams or says "PC LOAD LETTER," it is immediately unplugged, taken outside, and yelled at, often with a string of profanities. It doesn't do any good of course, but the stress release makes me feel a lot better. Back in my day, a tweet was something a bird did, and an app was an appetizer you ordered before a nice ribeye at the local pub!
I miss the days when a cookie was called a biscuit and came with chocolate chips. When a virus meant you stayed in bed for three days and all you could manage for food was a bowl of soup. I'll tell you what, if we had one of those electrical explosion things and the power went down, all those young cell-phone addicts with their heads buried in their phones would be sitting in the corner with their thumbs in their mouths, entirely helpless! I’m sticking to my landline. If you need me, you call the house phone. If I'm not in, leave a message on the machine, and speak slowly!