The merging of Thanksgiving and Christmas

Ralphy1

Ralphy1

Well-known Member
It seems that the two have become one with the significance of either being lost for just eating, decorating, drinking and shopping. As a devout hedonist it doesn't bother me, but maybe it does you...
 

Doesn't bother me as I'm a non-celebrant, but I can see how the concept of Thanksmas or Christgiving would bother some people.

Add in Halloween and you've got a trifecta.
 
The two of us do a big traditional Thanksgiving dinner with turkey and all the trimming just because we like it and then eat leftovers for a few days afterwards, which I'm good with.

We're also non-celebrants when it comes to Xmas.
 

It has always been a strange time of year in our household, especially with no family nearby. The past few years my wife and I have traveled to Stowe, VT to our favorite inn to spend Thanksgiving and make the holiday more special, while avoiding a day of cooking and dishes. This year, with our having to watch expenses, we'll probably stay home and I'll cook us a nice meal. My wife mentioned perhaps volunteering somewhere on Thanksgiving.

The Christmas holiday is a bit melancholy for me. My wife and I are of different faiths (she is Jewish, I am Protestant), so except for when my son was a young boy living at home, Christmas has mostly been a non-event in my household. In the early days of our marriage, we exchanged gifts and it was fun to surprise her with something new that I'd picked out, but as we aged and had the means to acquire things throughout the year, the gift giving tapered off. For many years now, Christmas has been a day to have a nice meal, maybe see an afternoon movie and talk to family who are scattered across the country. The grandkids are over in England, so last year we got to see them open presents via computer at 4:00 in the morning. Hoping that in the years ahead, we'll get to celebrate Christmas over there, to experience their joy in opening presents and to be with our son.
 
I would prefer to follow your style Bob. I have seasonal depression over the holidays and it has started early this year. Ever since my parents passed away, the holidays mean very little, other than celebrating the birth of Christ. Now, we are surrounded by family and gifts and a big meal and so on. All the while, I suffer in silence and there is no cure for it. I feel best when left alone and with my thoughts of when my Mom and Dad where alive and in the picture. Those were holidays worth repeating. We had such glorious holidays that just can't be repeated because of today's lifestyles.

When I was still working, I always volunteered or bid on flights to fly, instead of being home. It really took my mind off of things. My wife would complain about it, but I would tell her it's my job and I have to do my duty.
 
oldman said:
I have seasonal depression over the holidays and it has started early this year.
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I can relate. I know that feeling well, especially on Christmas day. Between the pressures of my job at this time of year (our firm closes it's books on 12/31) and the long hours it requires and the lack of any real meaning for the holiday, it does tend to get me down.
 
We (small family) eat out for Thanksgiving and Christmas is usually at my house or my sons's, the older I get, the less I do for the holidays.
 
My family is now scattered all over the globe and, especially at the holidays, I long greatly for the old days when we all got together for a 2-3 day gobble/grab/gurgle fest. I tend to get a little depressed at Christmas these days. I am determined to put a tree up this year and get "into" the holidays.
 
JJ, how much of that is nostalgia and how much just societal pressure to "get into it"?

I've figured out, for me, it was about 90% nostalgia - the rest being wanting to fit-in with (seemingly) everyone else.

Once I got rid of the nostalgia the rest was easy.
 
jujube said:
My family is now scattered all over the globe and, especially at the holidays, I long greatly for the old days when we all got together for a 2-3 day gobble/grab/gurgle fest. I tend to get a little depressed at Christmas these days. I am determined to put a tree up this year and get "into" the holidays.
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^This mostly, but more like members not alive who I celebrated it with. Not just nostalgic, but a true comfortable memory of wonderful times spent together and not ever being able to share those moments with those family members when the time rolls around each year. Like some others said, it brings on moments of melancholy and depression, not the entire season, I won't allow that, just moments here and there. There are times I get through it unscathed and just do what I need to do to not let it get under my skin and focus on the positives, but, there are still moments it just reminds me of not sitting around having great times these times of year when family has time off from work and everyone is able to spend quality time with the kids and enjoy each others company as we did. Parting was always sad for us, we loved those gatherings. Syrupy sweep it was and nothing about exchange of gifts, just a lot of love, fun and great company.
 
The Holidays have largely become the Year End shopping season for the retailers...and not much else. Around here, the "shopping" season has already started with Black Friday events starting the day after Halloween.

For years, we had all the kids/grandkids at our place for Thanksgiving and Christmas, but now its their turn. Thanksgiving is at the oldest daughters place, and Christmas is the younger daughters turn to host. Then, we usually schedule a free night or two at the casino afterwards, and have our own celebration on the slots, etc.
 
I think most of our fond memories are of our childhood Christmases. When we became adults and most of all parents.. WE became the ones responsible for making everyone else's Christmas memorable and wonderful. OUR Christmas kinda got lost in the shuffle. NOW.. That I am a grandparent.. I am still responsible for buying exactly the RIGHT present that the GK's little hearts desire. Mind you... I see my GKs about 4 times a year and I really don't know them that well.. particularly what their "hearts desires" are.. SO I rely on my son... who procrastinates and let's me know at the very last minute.. SOOOOO... it gets stressful.

This year, He can order the presents on Amazon and have them shipped to my house... I will wrap them and give him a check. If he doesn't do that.. the kids get an envelope with money and THEY can buy what their little hearts desire.. I'm too old for this.. I would much rather have a quite dinner with my hubby at a fabulous restaurant.. See the holiday decorations in Downtown Chicago.. and go home... BUT... my son wants the kids over at Granny's... and that's ok.. We do have some nice traditions we are keeping up... so the kids will have fond memories of Christmas at my house... and then THEY can start being responsible adults.. and get depressed.. lol!!
 
I guess Christmas has lost its real reason for celebration.

Now it's all about buying gifts, commercialism, buying gifts for eachother.

The atheists couldn't care less.
 
Falcon said:
I guess Christmas has lost its real reason for celebration.

Now it's all about buying gifts, commercialism, buying gifts for eachother.

The atheists couldn't care less.
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Sadly... Christmas seems to have become an obligation.. That's not how it should be.. but it feels that way to me.
 
We celebrate Thanksgiving in early October, and I have never understood why the U.S. is so late, back to back with Xmas.

I don't think xmas is about commercialism at all, people will agree its about family and friends. Since the religious implications of xmas are changing, I don't see anything wrong with it being secular to those who aren't religious or Christian. Also don't see it as any more commercial than any other holiday. That's life in the western capitalist world, so we should embrace it, not complain, unless of course we want to become Reds and do without altogether and live in the tundra.
 
And what makes up 'Winter Holidays'? I see Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years, and ? Not sure about that chart. Going back to school is not a holiday or celebration, it is part of life and growing up.
 
I can see that spending goes up more during the winter holidays. Nevertheless, spending and shopping is promoted by the retailers during all the holidays. That is the way of our culture. Like it or not, take it or leave it, the capitalist world goes round on free enterprise. There are way more people now, more shoppers with more money than in the 40s and 50s when people were still recovering after the war.

Maybe when people stop needing so many materialistic goods to give their life meaning, things will change, but I don't see that happening any time soon.
 
Agree, by the dead of February the need for heart shaped chocolates is dire, as is nice wine and dinner at a good restaurant. Its all about survival.
 
Cookie said:
Agree, by the dead of February the need for heart shaped chocolates is dire, as is nice wine and dinner at a good restaurant. Its all about survival.
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So why do we need a holiday to do it? Why not do it every day, or at least on those days when Seasonal Affective Disorder is at its worst?

Why only tell our mothers we love them once a year, with a cheap store-bought card containing canned verse? Why devour turkey until we explode only one day of the year? Why should we dress like vampires and pirates only on a single day in October?

Cookie, I agree wholeheartedly with your earlier comment about materialism - I'm doing my best to fight it over in this corner.
 
SifuPhil said:
So why do we need a holiday to do it? Why not do it every day, or at least on those days when Seasonal Affective Disorder is at its worst?
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Agree, chocolate is nice to have all winter (and year round). Or at least good cocoa.

Every culture has special holidays and celebrations. And we love a party with nice food, music and wine to share with our families and friends. It's always good to have something to celebrate.
 

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