The Mindless Thread

If you had to choose between unlimited gas or perfect love?

Where would you drive to?
 

Charlie and Sam talk about their dumb fathers.
Sam says, "My dad told me to find out if he is at the office or not.
Well, all he had to do was to call the office and find out himself.
Two minutes and he would be done, he's so dumb!"
Charlie replies, “That's nothing, my dad gave my 2 pennies and said,
buy a car with one and a microwave with the other.
But he didn't tell me which penny was for the car
and which one is for the microwave.”
 
Have you noticed the Politicians are turning up the art of Criticism?
It’s mostly just like all the communists, socialists etc. do. Criticism
About most everything. Its almost like who can criticize most all
In most every subject that maybe someone is interested in. Negativity
 
papa tiger said:
Have you noticed the Politicians are turning up the art of Criticism?
It’s mostly just like all the communists, socialists etc. do. Criticism
About most everything. Its almost like who can criticize most all
In most every subject that maybe someone is interested in. Negativity
Click to expand...
:) split in conflict, we're easier to whip. We don't even need to be whipped. Just managed.
 
A guy notices her lil dress is stuck in her ass in the line to get on a Subway.
So, he pulls it down and away from her Ass crack!
Well, she feels it, turns to him, slaps his face and says, "how dare you."
So, she turns away & he sticks her mini back up her ass crack!

I know the criticism is why keep messing with the Blond Bitch?
My thought are I would just have chuckled and left wiser!
 
I wish my pets were considerate here instead of wrecking most all of it!

Criticize, is all they do, constant criticism!
 
Doctor asks, "What's wrong with your bother?"
Lil Johnny, "He thinks he is a chicken."
Doctor says, " really? How long has this been going on?"
Lil Johnny thinks for a bit and says, "Five years."
Doctor exclaims, "Five years!"
Lil Johnny responds, "We would have brought him in earlier but we needed the eggs."
So the Dr asks, "How many double yokes did he lay?"
and Lil Johnny says, "The Yokes on us."
 
The poor people are polled and
asked how they went Bankrupt.
The number one answer is:
"Gradually, then suddenly."
 
The elderly group charters a private aircraft to fly them on their vacation trip.
Pilot: "Sorry folks, one of the engines went out, our landing will be changed to an emergency strip in the middle of nowhere."

We all do due diligence, say prayers, write last will and testaments and hug around the group.

Pilot: "Regret to say this, but our other engine just went out. It will be a struggle, but we can still Glide to the Airport and land safely God Willing."

We all Scream, "We will be up here forever!"
 
I grew up in a family that started out dirt poor. Mom could sew very well, and hand-made most of our clothes for many years.

Based on the quality, nobody could tell that our pants, shirts, coats, etc. were hand made. But there were no shortage of "where'd you get that?" questions based on the fact that everything was tailored to fit immaculately.

I didn't have a set of store-bought pants until I got married at 23.

And for the last 45 years I've wished that I could get clothes that fit like the stuff I used to wear to school every day, without breaking the bank....

Then I found all the Goody willy stuff.
 
A Parrot Was Cursing So Loudly at a Presidential Funeral It Had To Be Removed

At the funeral of Andrew Jackson, there was an African Grey parrot that swore so loudly that the funeral had to be delayed while the parrot was removed.
 
The Kid is showing his pal his collection of Lightening bugs in the Pint Jar.
His pal says, "We better poke some small holes in the lid for fresh air or they will die."
The Kid shakes the Jar and says, "what do we care, it's only a Hobby!"
 
It's 1973 an everyone is getting CB Radios.
So, The guy goes to Radio Shack to buy a CB radio base station and an antenna.

Salesman says, "Allright I have just the set of Beams for you"

The next day a Contractor shows up and installs a huge set of Beams.
Now the has heard the best time to be on is after ll PM cause
You can really skip stuff.

So he sits there every night after 11 PM and hears, "Who"
and he answers "Me" !

After some time of waiting, hears, "Why"
So, he answers, "Why not" !

Now; this goes on for months after 11 pm and before 5 AM.

"who, me;...... "why, why not;" ......"when, then;" ......"where, here;".....
"how, many;" ...... "They go, Where;" ..... "Play, at";....."yard, theirs" ...
"street work, driving !"
 
Lady: Do you drink?
Yes
Lady: How much a day?
3- 6 packs
Lady: How much per 6 pack
about $9 / 10.00
Lady: And how long have you been drinking?
Maybe 15 years
Lady: So 1- 6 pack cost $9 / 10.00 and you have 3 packs a day which puts your spending each month at $900.
In one year, it would be $10,800 correct?
Sort of
Lady: If in 1 year you spend $10,800 not accounting for inflation,
the past 15 years puts your spending at $162,000 correct?
Sort of Correct
Lady: Do you know that if you hadn't drank,
that money could have been put in a step-up interest savings account and
after accounting for compound interest for the past 15 years,
you could have now bought a Ferrari?
Do you drink?
Lady: No
"So if you didn't drink where is yours ?"
 
1699493499489.jpegYep it’s that time again shortly. We need a new tree and lights. What I want for X/mas? Jewels silly! TWSS
 
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