The Mindless Thread

A beautiful woman steps out of the water and up onto the beach,
with a floating large steamer trunk. The Guy helps her get settled,
rested, fed, dried off and they start to talk.

Emma asks Barry, " is there something you've really missed
being out here on this Island. "A clean shirt," was Barry's reply.
Emma reached into the steamer trunk and tosses Barry a new shirt.

"Surely there's SOMETHING you've really missed out here?"
"Your all alone...on an island with nobody all this time?"

"Oh wow, YEAH, there sure is,"
"I'd REALLY like a dry pillow to sleep on."
 
If not accepting the future will leave us behind,
so be it, for we are the dumb folk who only listen
to our smart phone or others with them! So U see.
 

I called you into my office Bob to tell you about your next raise.
Unfortunately for you, I decided to institute a cost savings protocol.
So instead of a raise, cost savings have kicked in. You're suspended from duty.
Effective immediately, you are fired. So, find your way out. By Bob.

I just wanted to tell you personally about how much this hurts me.
So, I can offer you a position at our Iceland Office as an errand boy trainee.
 
All I ask for is a couple hours with a wild redhead.
 

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The illegal immigrant calls the neighborhood Doc who has lost his license for malpractice & says "I feel terrible".
The Quack says "You need to pee and poop in a bucket for a week, throw in a dead fish and a rotting cabbage.
Put a towel over your head and inhale the vapors for 3 days". The man does this and Calls the Quack back and says,
"I feel wonderful, what was wrong with me?" "You were homesick..."
 
Repeating texting to your girlfriend / wife via What's App but getting no reply?
The logical conclusion is: She is ignoring you because. She crashed her car.
She is dead or there may be another reason.
Your smart phone Wi-Fi is not turned on! ..... 💋
 
Late one night a burglar broke into a house.
He froze when he heard a loud voice say, "Jesus is watching!"
Silence returned to the house so the burglar crept forward.
"Jesus is watching!" the voice boomed again.
The robber stopped dead in his tracks and looked all around.
He spotted a parrot in a cage.
"Was that you?" asked the burglar?
"Yes," answered the parrot.
The criminal sighed in relief and asked, "What's your name?"
"Clarence," said the bird.
"That's a dumb name for a parrot," sneered the burglar.
"What idiot named you Clarence?"
"The same idiot who named the Rottweiler Jesus."
 
The storm raged and the captain realized his ship was going down fast.
He called out, "Anyone here know how to pray?" One man stepped forward.
"Aye, Captain, know how to pray."

"Good," said the captain, "let us slip on our life jackets while you pray."
↓

↓

↓

↓
(we're one short.)
 
Hi Rakaia welcome Australia !


The Buffed up young Guy at the construction site is bragging that he can outdo anyone in a feat of strength.
He makes a case of making fun of one of the older workmen. After several minutes, the older worker has had enough.

"Why don't you put your money where your mouth is," he says. "I will bet a week's wages that I can haul something
in a wheelbarrow over to that storage building that you won't be able to wheel back." "You're on, old man," the young Guy replies.

"Let's see what you got." The old man reached out and grabbed the wheelbarrow by the handles.
Then, nodding to the young man, he said, "All right. Get in."
 
A juggler, driving to his next performance, is stopped by the police.
“What are those knives doing in your car? Asked the officer.
“I use them in my juggling act,” says the juggler.
“Oh yeah?” “Let’s see you do it.” Says the policeman.
So the man starts tossing and juggling the knives.
A guy driving by sees this and says, “Wow, am I glad I stopped
Drinking. Look at the test they’re making you do now!”
 
Guy sits down at a bar and orders a double martini. After he finishes,
he peeks inside his shirt pocket, then orders another. After he finishes that,
he again peeks inside his shirt pocket and orders another double martini.
The barman says: "I'll bring you martinis all night but why do you look inside
your shirt pocket before you order a refill." Guy replies: "I'm peeking at a photo
of my wife. When she starts to look good, I know it's time to go home."
 
Guys in a hurry to meet his friend down at the nearby lake.
On the way down there, he's stopped by a man fully dressed in red.
Guy pulls over, and the red man asks, "Hi, I'm the red jerk of the highway.
Have anything to eat?" Guy smiles and hands him a sandwich.

Guy continues down the highway and yet, again, he's pulled over by a man fully dressed in green.
He stops and the guy in green says, "Hi, I'm the green jerk of the highway.
Have anything to drink?" Without smiling, Guy hands the green guy his coke.

Guy starts off again and speeds down the highway. Yet again, he's stopped
by a guy fully dressed in blue. Sighing, he pulls over and cranks down his window,
leans out and says, I suppose you're the Blue Jerk of the Highway?

"Registration and license please" is the reply.
 
Last summer I hooked up with a hottie while on vacation and
fell head over heels in love with her. On the last night of my vacation,
we went to dinner and had a serious talk about how we could
continue our relationship over distances.

I forget the rest of the joke.
 
It's rained a lot this past week, even last night, more sopping. Going somewhere seems a waste today.
Maybe the Robbins are coming to eat the red berries on the ground around the tree soon. Lil Drunks.
 

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