The Old Proverbial

[officerripley]

An ex-brother-in-law called it this, as when he was telling me once, "Well, I done the 'Old Proverbial' the other day: I bit into an apple, it felt funny both when I was chewing and swallowing the first bite. I looked down at the apple and there was the remaining half of the worm which I'd already swallowed half of." (Ewww, btw.)

I've done the "Old Proverbial" at least 3 times. That old saying about "she's such a terrible cook, she can't boil water without burning it"? Yep, I've done that; started water to boil, walked off & forgot about it and nearly burned up the pot. (My favorite pot too because of course it was.)

I've also stepped on the rake part of a garden rake so that the handle hit me right on the forehead.

And I don't think this is a proverb or even old saying, not officially anyway, but it sounds like one: who'd be stupid enough to, when having trouble opening a champagne bottle, point the bottle opening at your face to try to figure out why the cork is refusing to come out? Why, me, of course! And you guessed it, that's when the cork decides it's ready to come out and hit me right between the eyes.

So do you have any to tell? 'Fess up now, kids.

 

[win231]

The champagne cork thing reminded me of the guy who was jump-starting his car at night.
He used a match to illuminate the battery terminals......

 

[jujube]

Well, I frequently walk around looking for my reading glasses while they're up on my head.

My mother would always say the proverbial thing to say when you're looking for something and it's right there in front of you, "If it was a snake, you would have stepped on it!"

 

[Pappy]

Yeah..years ago I was checking out a fine looking gal and I walked right into a road sign. Had a goose egg on my forehead.

 

[tbeltrans]

Yeah..years ago I was checking out a fine looking gal and I walked right into a road sign. Had a goose egg on my forehead.

...and here I thought for sure you were going say that somebody yelled at you to get out of the women's restroom.

Tony

 

[officerripley]

I forgot about this one that happened to a co-worker: She was running late arriving to work one morning, came racing up to the door of her office, starts juggling her purse, some packages of stuff, in order to dig her key ring out, in her haste drops the key ring, upon hitting the floor the key ring breaks, keys going flying everywhere with one, and only one, key sliding under the locked office door...guess which key?