The question that quietly follows us into our senior years.

bobcat

bobcat

Well-known Member
Location
Northern Calif
I’ve been thinking lately about a deceptively simple question:
What do you want to do with the rest of your life?
It sounds like something we should all have figured out by now, but I think many people don’t — and maybe that’s because the question is bigger than it appears. None of us knows whether we have one more day, one more decade, or thirty more years. So how do you prioritize anything when the timeline is a mystery?

People often say, “Just make the most of each day.” Nice sentiment - but what does that actually look like in real life? For some, it might mean travel or adventure. For others, it might mean peace, routine, or simply enjoying a cup of coffee in the morning sun. And of course, we all have limitations: money, health, responsibilities, energy levels. Acceptance of our situation in life could mean giving up on dreams, or it could mean we just need to adjust expectations and create a new formula for inner peace or happiness. But within the circumstances we do have, I wonder how many of us have really sat down and asked: "What do I genuinely want — and what can I still make happen?"

Not the big bucket-list fantasies necessarily, but the realistic, meaningful things that would make our days feel more personally satisfying. Is it learning something new? Repairing a relationship? Letting go of something heavy? Spending more time in nature, or more time with family? Creating something? Leaving a legacy?
Or maybe finally giving yourself permission to stop doing things you just don’t enjoy.

Living on auto-pilot is easier, but will it give you what you desire in the end? What about settling on the idea of “micro‑dreams”. Not everything has to be a grand plan. A micro‑dream might be reading more mysteries, gardening, reconnecting with an old hobby, taking a day trip once a month. Small things can add up to a meaningful life. On the other hand, the second half of life might be less about adding things and more about releasing things — expectations, grudges, old identities. Life has seasons.

I’m curious how others think about this. Do you plan? Do you drift? Do you follow impulses? Do you set goals? Or do you just let life unfold and adjust as you go? What do you want your days on earth to say about who you are, or does it even matter? I’d love to hear how you approach the idea of “the rest of your life,” whatever that means to you. Do you feel you’re living the life you want, or the life that happened to you?
 
Today I thought: Lets start walking dogs. My son needs to find something to do. My job is boring and only part time. I can help him. The only thing is: I can't drive. He's too young to even get driving lessons. That means you can't load a bunch of dogs in a bus to go to a wood or nature park and if you walk em here in the park you have to pick up poop. Maybe give em diapers.
 
I had already planned out my retirement, but I didn’t include a job that I took that was offered to me by a friend. I spent 5 years there and decided it was time to start my retirement. I had almost 5 years in college and 30 years in the military, which allowed me to be fairly still young to retire and enjoy physical activities before old age sets in and takes that away from me.

I do odd jobs on the side to stay active and keep my brain cells from going to sleep. I don’t run a business out of my home. I don’t think a co-op would allow that, but one never knows. I pick and choose the jobs I do, but carpentry and electrical work are my favorites.
 
Unfold and adjust would be me. I live on a bit of land that keeps me busy doing things I mostly enjoy. But there are always surprises and plans need to be adjusted. I have 4 dogs, 2 larger, 2 smaller. Whatever kind of day each is having has to be adjusted for.

I've done all the traveling and living in different places in my lifetime that I want to do.

I try never to sweat the small insignificant small stuff. And face the hard stuff head on.
 
Messy said:
Today I thought: Lets start walking dogs. My son needs to find something to do. My job is boring and only part time. I can help him. The only thing is: I can't drive. He's too young to even get driving lessons. That means you can't load a bunch of dogs in a bus to go to a wood or nature park and if you walk em here in the park you have to pick up poop. Maybe give em diapers.
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Just curious here. You mentioned you have a job, but you don't drive. Do you use a ride service, and if so, could you do that going to the park. Also, is there perhaps a senior center nearby that goes on outings once in awhile?
 
bobcat said:
Just curious here. You mentioned you have a job, but you don't drive. Do you use a ride service, and if so, could you do that going to the park. Also, is there perhaps a senior center nearby that goes on outings once in awhile?
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I live in Holland. I can just take the bus and train to work. I'm only 55. I have thought of taking the elderly neighbour out, since I heard yesterday that she doesn't feel well. The park here is a 5 minute walk. It's straight behind the flat I live in.

Senior center, you mean to go out with them? That's a great idea. I looked it up. They're looking for volunteers. They don't have enough people to walk em to the Bingo. That's an even better idea than walking dogs.
 
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I enjoy eating whenever I do it. Which is everyday. So there's that.

I try reading but everything I read makes me think, This person is just making this stuff up. Even when it's so called non-fiction. So I don't end up reading many books.

I can't walk like I used to so walking in the park is out. Driving aimlessly is out because if the car breaks down I don't want to deal with that.

I don't visit people any more because I'd have to keep up conversation and there's very little I have to say at this point in my life. I'd rather stay home and think thoughts.

As long as I can stay in my home, I'm content. All my life the things that had to be accomplished were to meet the demands of a job, a wife, the kids.

Now there are no demands and I'm still in the honeymoon phase of that euphoria.
 
I don’t want to have so much pain and discomfort. I want the energy I had when I would pick up my grandson from school on Wednesdays again.

Will happily give up most things to be able to walk without pain. Want to go out and take a walk and read a book sitting on park bench in the warm sun.

I want so little now. Am dependent on the stress of poor health. Want to be stronger. Have some stamina. Health.

Conversely I want to smoke a cigarette. More than one.

Please? That’s all I ask. That’s all I need.
 
I keep moving. I have several interests that keep me going and out of the house each day. It could partly be ADHD which I don’t care to medicate. I am happy with it.
I have quite a few senior neighbors on this street. Some are very active and others just stay in the house all day staring at TV/Computer.
The active ones seem to go on and on. A lady down the corner is 80ish and always walking her dog and out and about in the city.
The sedentary ones seem to lose mobility and seldom leave the house. One day the EMTs come and take them away. Sometimes they return days or weeks later. But then the EMT’s return again and it’s time for the nursing or funeral home.
Bottom line is physical activity and something to motivate/excite one to get up and out each day is key.
 
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Or do you just let life unfold and adjust as you go?

Planned for & am living life far better than expected. Health probably better than average so that makes life enjoyable

What do you want your days on earth to say about who you are, or does it even matter?

Doesn't matter.


Do you feel you’re living the life you want?

Absolutely
 
EmptyCup said:
I keep moving. I have several interests that keep me going and out of the house each day. It could partly be ADHD which I don’t care to medicate. I am happy with it.
I have quite a few senior neighbors on this street. Some are very active and others just stay in the house all day staring at TV/Computer.
The active ones seem to go on and on. A lady down the corner is 80ish and always walking her dog and out and about in the city.
The sedentary ones seem to lose mobility and seldom leave the house. One day the EMTs come and take them away. Sometimes they return days or weeks later. But then the EMT’s return again and it’s time for the nursing or funeral home.
Bottom line is physical activity and something to motivate/excite one to get up and out each day is key.
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They do say, "Step outside at least once a day."
 
I'm creeping up on 90, so I've had most of my retirement. Neither my wife nor I wanted to travel. We just played it by ear day to day. We had our hobbies and watched our granddaughter grow up, which was our main joy. It's been quiet but mostly pleasant. At this point my main priority is to make things as easy as I can for my son and a his family. I still play it by ear day to day.
 
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bobcat said:
What do you want to do with the rest of your life?
It sounds like something we should all have figured out by now, but I think many people don’t — and maybe that’s because the question is bigger than it appears. None of us knows whether we have one more day, one more decade, or thirty more years. So how do you prioritize anything when the timeline is a mystery?
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My general plan is to enjoy myself (go to bed and get up when I want, do what I want) and travel while I'm in my go-go years. Then my plan for my slow-go years is to get a dog and to volunteer on the various committees and clubs here in the retirement community that I live in. Then my no-go years, which I doubt if I'll last that long, I'll just read and watch TV and attend the activities in my building (and maybe try playing that civilization game that Mitch likes).

Those are the plans, but, when I was waiting for my biopsy results and freaking out that I might get bad news and die soon, I was wishing I'd gotten a dog already and done the volunteer activities. I thought if I got a good biopsy result I would adjust my plan to do those things. But, my biopsy result was okay and now I've reverted to my original (enjoy myself, travel, no dog yet, no volunteering).

Long before I retired I planned to spend my retirement learning things, I thought I'd at least take online classes a lot, but so far my only learning has been from some interesting YouTube videos (interspersed with watching a LOT of inconsequential videos like 'What bothered Waffles [the cat] this week', '****** Hotel' skits, 'The dogs were good again this week', etc).

ETA - apparently can't say girl parts even if it is the name of a YouTube humor series, starts with a V.
 
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