The saga of the Christmas tree.

fuzzybuddy

fuzzybuddy

SF VIP
Location
The Sticks, Northeast PA.
Ahh, the Christmas tree. It's what brings us all together, cause we get free stuff under it. Yet, the tree has gone through several "traditions". First, it was a small, real tree. Then, over the years, it got bigger and bigger. But, when you were still vacuuming up pine needles in May, you switched to a silver aluminum tree, with this revolving color disc. It was what all the truly smart people had. Of course, the smart people were now into plastic trees, which were so life like. The plastic tree, well, looked like a plastic tree. And every year, it lost more and more branches. Till, you got a small real tree. It kind of smelled piney. And there wasn't a vast array of gifts, like when you were a kid. But the little, real tree was heart warming, cause we still get free stuff under it.
 

My mother loved the aluminum tree; 4 1/2 feet of shiny. After we moved to Los Angeles, my father bought an artificial pine tree. Mother was skeptical. She wasn't real keen on the work involved; wrapping strings of lights around it and hanging the ornaments on it. To save steps, I suppose, she would group two or three ornaments on each hook. Our first Christmas at a vacation cabin that my father bought up in the Sierras, he brought in a tree that he'd cut himself, and for the first time it seemed my mother understood what the Christmas Tree was all about.
 
My Dad was the manager of a small landscaping business his entire life and made a comfortable living . About 2 or 3 weeks before Christmas he and a crew of 3 men would go to a Vermont farm and hand cut Christmas trees. He would put aside 3 of the best trees for my Grandparents,Uncle and for us. He would stand them up in our garage and when it was time to put the tree up I was allowed to choose the tree I wanted. They were always so perfect and my Grandpa was in charge of putting on the lights for his tree and ours. My mom and I decorated it with care. When I see all those trees in Home Depot and other stores I think how rural my area was back then for just 3 men to hand cut enough trees for our area and make a good living.
 
I do believe I'm the only person on earth who has killed an artificial Christmas tree. I started out with causing the (second) demise of a dried flower arrangement, progressed to homicide of a preserved fern and the tree was the final step in my pursuit of a career in hortimurder (which is the opposite of horticulture).
 
When I was little my father would cut a tree in the back lot of my grandmothers farm. The tree went into a corner of the living room, the tree stand was a galvanized pail with rocks and water, the skirt was an old white bed sheet. One year our cat climbed the tree and tipped it over, after that the tree was always secured with a fine wire and a couple of screw eyes in the wall to provide some extra stability.

These days I plug in my little ceramic tree, similar to this one, and I'm good to go!!!

s-l225.jpg
 
All together now, a cappella:

Oh, Christmas Tree, Oh, Christmas Tree,
You cost me 80 smackers.

To spend so much on a dead tree,
I really must be crackers.

Your needles clogged
up my vacuum
and now I have to
use a broom.

Oh, Christmas Tree, Oh, Christmas Tree,
Give back my 80 smackers....
 

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