The Tag-Along Sister

Keesha said:
Oh goodness Leann. What a patient, tolerant person you have been but seriously, you deserve better. Creepy is an understatement.
This won’t ever change so unless you want to be a permanent third wheel I’d end if now.
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Thanks, Keesha. The "creep factor" wasn't apparent to me initially because he had checked so many other boxes for me. But then her name kept coming up and he would reference her in casual conversation like "my sister and I like to go to this restaurant" or "I'm going to run errands with my sister" or "my sister and I went to the movies". She has an off-putting personality, a sense of superiority. Not the kind of person people are endeared to. He is friendly, immediately likeable.
 

Leann said:
You're very wise, AprilSun. I have the same concerns. He told me that she doesn't want him talking about her, not only to me but to anyone. I don't ask about his conversations with her because he wouldn't tell me anyway. So I can assume that he is telling her about our relationship.
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Every time I see that you have posted on this thread, I have to look and see if you're referring to it as "our former relationship" yet!
 
I agree with all of you. And C'est Moi, you're correct, I'm the tag along, not his sister.

There will be a conversation to follow but I started with an email to him today. I could have been more blunt than I was but I chose to be as non-critical as possible. Why? Because nothing will change between them regardless of what I say. A relationship with me or any other woman will never rise to the level of importance as the one he has with his sister.

He's a huge collegiate football fan and several of his favorite teams are playing today so I doubt he'll even check his email until later tonight or sometime tomorrow. I'm sure we'll talk over the next day or two but, in the meantime, he has an email waiting for him. I told him that there isn't room for me in this relationship and there's no path forward. He's content to spend his time with his sister in the little world they've created and I am a disruption. I said more but this was the gist. If I was a betting person, I'd wager a lot that his sister will be the first person he talks to after reading the email and that he may even forward it to her.

I spoke to a good friend yesterday about him and she summed it up perfectly. She said "unfortunately he's damaged".
 
Leann said:
You're very wise, AprilSun. I have the same concerns. He told me that she doesn't want him talking about her, not only to me but to anyone. I don't ask about his conversations with her because he wouldn't tell me anyway. So I can assume that he is telling her about our relationship.
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AprilSun said:
I couldn't trust him. He would make me feel as if he would run to her and tell her everything that was personal happening between the two of us. Without trust, a relationship or marriage will never last.
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Not just personal things about your relationship, but private things about yourself that you've shared with him. She doesn't want him talking about her, but does she pick him about you? As unhealthy as their relationship is, I'd be willing to bet she does.
 

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