The toughest decision you made

In 2001 my father was terminally ill at age 83 with advanced pancreatic cancer. He was willing and ready for the end of life. My mother wouldn't accept this outcome and actually believed we could nurse him back to health at home. That choice if acted upon would have been against his wishes, medical advice and all realistic common sense. It also would have extended his painful agony to say nothing of bringing about needless and pointless stress for both my mother and myself.
And then she herself was hospitalized for a possible cardiac event that turned out to be stress and fatigue. But while she was hospitalized and also under pharmaceutic tranquilizer treatment, I had the legal medical power of attorney. Which I acted on (with medical advice from our attending physician)......to save our family from a serious mistake. I suggested a medical intervention to hasten my father's death. The doctor and I were in agreement and so my father underwent a surgery that he likely wouldn't survive.
I signed the consent to operate form......knowing full well that the intention was not any kind of healing treatment but rather, a means to kill him, to put it bluntly. And that's exactly what happened.
I've never regretted the decision and I'd do it again and I know it was the correct choice for us.
Disagree with me? You're entitled to your opinion.
 
When my eldest son was 14, after teaching him to cook, do his laundry and be self reliant to a point, to let him then go live with his dad in another state. I never talked smack to him about his dad, as that relationship was not the same. But I knew it was time for him to learn how his dad really was. Leaving the airport, I made it 2 miles on the interstate and had to pull over. An Officer stopped and sat with me until I could drive again. That will always be the hardest decision I ever made. But son learned and he now understands why I refused to allow him to go before that age. All is good. hardest decision, yes... the better option Definitely
 

Repondering said:
In 2001 my father was terminally ill at age 83 with advanced pancreatic cancer. He was willing and ready for the end of life. My mother wouldn't accept this outcome and actually believed we could nurse him back to health at home. That choice if acted upon would have been against his wishes, medical advice and all realistic common sense. It also would have extended his painful agony to say nothing of bringing about needless and pointless stress for both my mother and myself.
And then she herself was hospitalized for a possible cardiac event that turned out to be stress and fatigue. But while she was hospitalized and also under pharmaceutic tranquilizer treatment, I had the legal medical power of attorney. Which I acted on (with medical advice from our attending physician)......to save our family from a serious mistake. I suggested a medical intervention to hasten my father's death. The doctor and I were in agreement and so my father underwent a surgery that he likely wouldn't survive.
I signed the consent to operate form......knowing full well that the intention was not any kind of healing treatment but rather, a means to kill him, to put it bluntly. And that's exactly what happened.
I've never regretted the decision and I'd do it again and I know it was the correct choice for us.
Disagree with me? You're entitled to your opinion.
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Totally agree.
My wife had a DNR (do not resuscitate) so I did not have to make the decision.
I recommend all couples discuss end of life matters when they are healthy and thinking straight.
 
I had to make decisions about end of life matters for three people: my father, my mother, and my wife. I don't know which of those decisions were the hardest. In each case, I had to look into their eyes and hope they knew I loved them and was doing the best I knew how.

I'm thankful that I will never be put in that position again. When it's my turn for someone to make decisions on my behalf, I have all my wishes clearly spelled out in legal documents.
 
MACKTEXAS said:
I had to make decisions about end of life matters for three people: my father, my mother, and my wife. I don't know which of those decisions were the hardest. In each case, I had to look into their eyes and hope they knew I loved them and was doing the best I knew how.

I'm thankful that I will never be put in that position again. When it's my turn for someone to make decisions on my behalf, I have all my wishes clearly spelled out in legal documents.
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OMG ((Mack))) that's horribly tragic...3 people... wow, may they all R.I.P knowing how much you cared for them
 
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To stop giving money to a relative who is mentally ill and homeless. He will not seek treatment or take meds. He will not look for a regular job. He does gig work, which pays next to nothing where he lives. He lives on the streets of a major city. I have no way to get help for him because just knowing he is homeless in a city of millions of people is not enough information to give the police.

After several years of helping him, I had to stop before I ran out of money. Over the years, I gave him tens of thousands of dollars. In return, before I blocked him, he sent texts and voicemails in which he blamed me for his predicament, used foul language in every sentence, tried to force me to get a replacement money giver for him (by threatening that person), and threatened to kill himself.

He is very manipulative. Anyway, I blocked him on my phone and any emails he sends will go to spam directly.
 
Throwing my son out when he was twenty do to excessive drug and alcohol use and refusing help. I felt like I was writing his death sentence but knew I was enabling him by letting him stay with me.

Thankfully he pulled himself out of that life, turned into a hardworking and great young man any parent would be proud of.
 
WheatenLover said:
To stop giving money to a relative who is mentally ill and homeless. He will not seek treatment or take meds. He will not look for a regular job. He does gig work, which pays next to nothing where he lives. He lives on the streets of a major city. I have no way to get help for him because just knowing he is homeless in a city of millions of people is not enough information to give the police.

After several years of helping him, I had to stop before I ran out of money. Over the years, I gave him tens of thousands of dollars. In return, before I blocked him, he sent texts and voicemails in which he blamed me for his predicament, used foul language in every sentence, tried to force me to get a replacement money giver for him (by threatening that person), and threatened to kill himself.

He is very manipulative. Anyway, I blocked him on my phone and any emails he sends will go to spam directly.
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you did the absolute right thing. Addicts of all types are very manipulative and will do and say anything that will get them the funds to feed their habit.. and when that's cut off you see a terrible side of them..
 
hollydolly said:
you did the absolute right thing. Addicts of all types are very manipulative and will do and say anything that will get them the funds to feed their habit.. and when that's cut off you see a terrible side of them..
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He isn't an addict, though. He doesn't drink alcohol or use drugs of any kind. He's basically unable to function and won't get help because he thinks he doesn't need it. He does not see that his statements about why things don't work for him are excuses, not reality.

I cannot help him any more. He wants to be helped with money only. Oh, except that if I rent an expensive house, he will be happy to come and live with me. Been there, done that, and it is not going to happen. Living with him is not an option -- he is far too unstable. He scares me, sometimes.

I do think I did the right thing, but it was hard. It is easier now that he can only get in touch with me only via an actual letter. I am no longer bombarded with texts, phone calls, and emails many times a day.
 
hollydolly said:
with all due respect..I don't understand this...

Why woud you stop CPR on the 15 year old and her sister to carry out CPR on her murderer..?...:unsure:
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Likely because the murderer had the best chance of survival, medical professionals do not get to play judge or jury, they treat who they can save.
 
Walking away from an 11 year marriage where the stress was making physically ill.
 

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