This question lingers. Can men and women truly maintain a real friendship?

If one has a partner or is way older yes or an ex. I'm friends with my ex but not besties LOL. It's not that we hang out as friends on a regular basis. That hmmm. A boy on a forum looked for friends and someone said: look outside of your age range and he came back very happy. He found a friend! An old grandma.

That's just friends, but same age and both single hmm sure if it's just a bit but really hanging out and texting a lot? Neh. I went on a date with a guy who had just friends. He was blind so they walked arm in arm and went to concerts, one slept there and they'd go out to eat. I said I wasn't interested anymore. He felt attacked as if I accused him. No I believe you. I really do. One was the ex of his friend. But she has no man so she wants her emotional needs met and uses him for that. Good luck with that. Bye. Not interested.
I once saw this:


 
Thread title is:

This question lingers. Can men and women truly maintain a real friendship?

Thread title should be:
This question lingers. Can some men and some women truly maintain a real friendship in some circumstances?

Reads like one is asking whether some people can maintain opposite gender friendships without such being affected by lusty thoughts.

Absolutely. Humans in communities have been doing so for ages. But yes, it is true that in this modern era, there are more than ever that cannot except in strong taboo situations like between relatives. The more attractive people are, the more those people dress and act in flirtatious ways, the more likely, some men especially, will not be able to resist fantasizing lusty intimate situations that will eventually lead to effects on what ought remain just respective friendships.

For decades, I've been able to resist fantasizing about attractive women at work places I have had to work with or with married women I meet and know, because such is a long developed habit. Married women in mixed gender parties are quite safe around me though I cannot say the same for most other men.

But there is a limit to such. An attractive married woman with a pretty face wearing swimwear in close proximity, may affect this male beyond what I can mentally resist. That is a prime reason humans don't walk around naked like other animals.
 
David777 said:
Thread title is:

This question lingers. Can men and women truly maintain a real friendship?

Thread title should be:
This question lingers. Can some men and some women truly maintain a real friendship in some circumstances?

Reads like one is asking whether some people can maintain opposite gender friendships without such being affected by lusty thoughts.

Absolutely. Humans in communities have been doing so for ages. But yes, it is true that in this modern era, there are more than ever that cannot except in strong taboo situations like between relatives. The more attractive people are, the more those people dress and act in flirtatious ways, the more likely, some men especially, will not be able to resist fantasizing lusty intimate situations that will eventually lead to effects on friendships.

For decades, I've been able to resist fantasizing about attractive women at work places I have had to work with or with married women I meet and know, because such is a long developed habit. Married women in mixed gender parties are quite safe around me though I cannot say the same for most other men.

But there is a limit to such. An attractive married woman with a pretty face wearing swimwear in close proximity, may affect this male beyond what I can mentally resist. That is a prime reason humans don't walk around naked like other animals.
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NO, the thread title should not be as you say. It should be exactly as I posted it.
 
I've been close friends with a lady named Pam since the early 90s. She's single, very pretty, and I love her personality, but we've never gotten romantically involved. We still call and text and exchange photos (GP rated) at least 4 or 5 times a year, but haven't visited each other since she moved out of state when she retired.

Pam and I are long-time buddies and occasional advisors. We've been through a lot together, now I think about it.
 
There were more women than men where I worked, so it wasn't awkward to be a friend with a co-worker. I'm still in touch with some of them - infrequently, but we do talk - mostly on our birthdays or around Christmas.

There is a woman right now at church I would like to take out to dinner. I haven't asked her. I think she would say yes, but if the answer was no, seeing her each Sunday would then be uncomfortable, so I don't know what I want to do yet.
 
I've had lots of platonic male friendships.

I worked in a university department in which I was the only female. We were all young and single, and were great friends. The guys treated me like I was their little sister (I was 19), so it worked out wonderfully. We all went dancing 3-4 times a week at our favorite club. On Saturdays, we went to the drop zone because the boss enjoyed skydiving. We took skydiving lessons. We went up into the sky in the plane so we could jump out. I panicked seeing people jump out and had to forcibly restrain myself from holding them back. I'm not skydiving material.

A decade later, I worked at a college and had lots of friends (fellow profs) there, mostly male. Totally platonic. I knew them and their wives already because when I was married, my ex-husband worked there and we had lots of parties. At school, at lunch time, I was the only woman in a group of us who loved to compete by working complex math problems. It was so much fun! It turned out that all of us in the group planned to go to law school. We decided which school we wanted to attend. Then I stupidly got married again and moved to the Frozen North.

In the Frozen North, I had 2 best male friends. My Mass friend was someone I hired to replace me when I went to law school. I was controller of a company, and we hit it off, as did his wife and I. He bought 93% ground beef when it first came out (I'd never heard of it), and we all grilled out, and I dubbed them "liver burgers". They tasted horrible to me. Now I buy low fat ground beef and can't tell the difference. Besides his job, he owned a Cinnabon franchise.

My PA friend was the guy next door. I noticed flares down the road, along with a huge tree that had fallen across it. He was manning the flares, handling the situation. I introduced myself to him and we became good friends. He did not like dogs, but made up for by letting me go kitten nest hunting with him. He had a slew of cats who had slews of kittens all over his land. I wish I'd taken photos of the many times at least 10 of his cats would line up along the outside of Aidan's fence and drive him crazy.

I emphasize being totally, 100% platonic, because I was usually married and there is just no way - I have firm boundaries, and I make that very clear. I remember one time, a bunch of us were sitting around our pastor's office chatting. The topic about married people having affairs came up. I said it's a good thing we are all Christians so we don't have to worry about stuff like that. Well, most of their jaws dropped, and I was shocked. To this day, I have not met anyone who has had an affair while they were married.
 
MACKTEXAS said:
There were more women than men where I worked, so it wasn't awkward to be a friend with a co-worker. I'm still in touch with some of them - infrequently, but we do talk - mostly on our birthdays or around Christmas.

There is a woman right now at church I would like to take out to dinner. I haven't asked her. I think she would say yes, but if the answer was no, seeing her each Sunday would then be uncomfortable, so I don't know what I want to do yet.
Click to expand...
Meanwhile, there's this guy named Mack who goes to her church, and she really wants him to ask her out. Pray for courage, Mack!
 
You might be drawn to a female friend due to qualities like their intelligence, sense of humour, shared interests or physical attraction. All of which can be appreciated without it being a threat. Keep those feelings to yourself and just enjoy the company, then nobody feels any sense of threat.
 
Friends between the sexes align with the zodiac. Two people born under the same element sign often share such a similar viewpoint that they find themselves enthusiastically comparing notes and observations. So the kinship of simiarity fuels a very naturally occuring friendship.

Whether or not it persists over time has to do with circumstances which bring them together or not.

Over my years of working I would always end up friends with other fire signs. It would start immediately and never lose that sense that we were friends.


If I ran into them long after no longer working together, they would greet me warmly and it was clear that we never stopped remembering each other and ask about something they remembered about me...like my birthday for instance.
 
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