Thought for Today

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SIMPLE TRUTH #1
Lovers help each other undress before sex.
However after sex, they always dress on their own.
Moral of the story: In life, no one helps you once you're screwed.

SIMPLE TRUTH # 2
When a lady is pregnant, all her friends touch her stomach and say, "Congratulations".
But, none of them touch the man's ***** and say, "Good job".
Moral of the story: Hard work is never appreciated.

FIVE RULES TO REMEMBER IN LIFE
1. Money cannot buy happiness, but it's more comfortable to cry in a Corvette than on a bicycle.
2. Forgive your enemy, but remember the asshole's name.
3. If you help someone when they're in trouble, they will remember you when they're in trouble again.
4. Many people are alive only because it's illegal to shoot them.
5. Alcohol does not solve any problems, but then neither does milk.

AND FINALLY
Condoms don't guarantee safe sex. A friend of mine was wearing one, when he was shot by the woman's husband.
 
JohnnyWest said:

I love that quote. I always thought it was credited to Richard Bach, but after Googling I'm not quite sure since his was a bit different. Does your source credit anyone?
Click to expand...

Sorry on the source. Guess we can only chalk it up to unknown or anonymous or . . . maybe Alices' hookah smoking caterpillar. But, Bach is good enough for me.
 
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