Time To Start Thinking About Those Resolutions

S

SifuPhil

R.I.P. With Us In Spirit Only
Location
Pennsylvania, USA
Christmas is here, which means that New Year's is just around the corner. In turn, that means the annual Making of Resolutions.

I used to make them, gave up for many years, but this year I think I'm going to have another go at it.

My Resolutions for 2014 (So Far)


  1. Lose 10 pounds of fat
  2. Gain 10 pounds of muscle
  3. Move 10 pounds of flesh from butt to biceps
  4. Stop smoking the butts I find in the gutter
  5. Stop drinking from the bottles I find there as well
  6. No more $10 Specials from Harriet The Hooker
  7. Jazz up my Small Furry Mammal website with interactive videos
  8. Prepare for move to Florida by tanning under the kitchen sink fluorescent bulb
  9. Finish my current book, then re-write Wikipedia
  10. Add walls to my monk cell

How about y'all - any resolutions in the works?
 

Sure have.

1. I resolve never to allow guilt or delusions of virtue prevent me from abandoning brainfart resolutions.
2. Devote more of my precious time to housework.
3. Give a proverbial about the proclamations of organizations like Amnesty International and Greenpeace.
4. Learn to love Greenies.
5. ... and other small furry mammals, like Fruit Bats and Al Gore.
6. Ingest more magic bullet and naturesome supplements to achieve immortality.
7. Avoid cynicism.
8. Practice diplomacy.
9. Read and embrace Marx' manifesto.
10. Always first refer to resolution one!

They should be all I need, otherwise I'm already perfect enough.
 
I'm making realistic ones, ones I know I am sure to be able to keep.

I would like to gain even more weight, 10 pounds would be enough, but with very little effort I bet I could gain a lot more.

Seriously I never make any resolutions, I feel life is a constant work in progress, Jan 1 is just another day. I don't feel like it is the start or end of anything.
 

Diwundrin said:
7. Avoid cynicism.
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Sure, right ... as if.

Oops, I just broke your resolution. Want me to get you another one? :(

Old Hipster said:
I would like to gain even more weight, 10 pounds would be enough ...
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You realize of course that you have just become an object of scorn for every woman on this forum ...

Davey Jones said:
I will never again take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
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That's like the fad of putting those Red Bull drinks into alcoholic beverages - I never understood why they did that. What, you're an awake drunk?
 
Phil..about #1..cut off your head, problem solved!:playful:

Di..Sorry to say, but most of your resolutions look like they belong in the "Lies" thread...I would be highly disappointed in you if achieved any but maybe #1 and maybe #2....as for 7 and 8, those would not even make the light of day on my list.
Changing those horses in midstream will surly result in a drowning.:rolleyes:

OH..lol..now that's a resolution I could keep..in fact I subscribe to your whole idea of resolutions.:love_heart:

Davey..that sounds more like a learning experience than a resolution...:confused:
 
Di..Sorry to say, but most of your resolutions look like they belong in the "Lies" thread...I would be highly disappointed in you if achieved any but maybe #1 and maybe #2....as for 7 and 8, those would not even make the light of day on my list.
Changing those horses in midstream will surly result in a drowning.:rolleyes:
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Yep! see resolution #1.
 
new-year-resolution.jpg
 
TWHRider said:
Phil, #1 & #2 - don't hold your breath. #3 thru #10 -- you resolve to change your entire life style? Let us know on January 3rd how that's working for ya:playful:
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If I even last THAT long!


I started the day off with a big fat piece of real-honest-to-goodness "King's cake" and wouldn't you know, out of an entire cake at Mr. TWH's work, he brought home the piece with the baby in it - chitchitchit - that means we have to buy the King's cake for next year's work Christmas Dinner. I should've used some of my thinking on Di's thread before eating that scrumptious cake, instead of just diving right in.
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Whoa, wait a minute - Mr. TWH stole a piece of the King's Cake that had a BABY in it?!? Which King is this? I mean, I know there have been some kings and queens over the ages that had some weird fetishes, but ...

Maaaaannnn ... and they call ME weird ... :(
 
TWHRider I started yesterday off with a BIG grilled cheese sandwich! Oh boy, now that is The Food of The Gods. Cheese good! bread good! butter good!

I'm sitting here now eating my low-fat cottage cheese and I am about out the door for work. Damn, the dryer seems to have shrunk my jeans again. How can that be, time for a new clothes dryer me thinks.

That guy, that is the perfect Resolution List, just keep changing the date and revising as needed.
 
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