Tip Toe Around Your Boss/Supervisor.

Remy

Well-known Member
Location
California, USA
I've got one. I'm sure we all have. She's wearing on me. I'm very good now at dealing with these people. I know with her, agree, smile and be submissive. That's how I survive her. And she appears to like me OK. Good.

In the past I've had a couple that were actually abusive. That I won't take anymore.

Friday, when one of my very low key, no drama co-workers made a comment about our boss that 'you really have to watch what you say to her' it was good validation. I'm not the only one feeling this way.

I'm sure other's have had such bosses. I'm not a fan of the 'walking on egg shells' term but that's what it is.
 

I do no have that ability. I tend to be very straightforward and speak my mind.
We have co-workers that do stand up to her. She tends to get this 'tone' to her voice when people challenge her. These co-workers are stronger than me.

As I said, I will not put up with abuse anymore as I have in the past. We have someone who comes into our building (works for the same company as I do) that literally yelled at me, in front of others, at another job. He was not my supervisor but had a self imposed feeling of superiority. I believe he is a full blown narcissist. He's tried to talk to me, I mumble and keep going. I won't engage with him. There is no reason for him to talk to me.

I had a boss yell at me over the phone. He eventually he got fired. I found out people complained about him. I didn't. Of coarse since taking that behavior is how I was raised. That was almost 10 years ago. That I won't take anymore but I won't stand up to someone just because they are jerky. That I can just go along with. I need my job right now.
 
I spent all my career as a consultant, an engineer. It was all about keeping the clients happy. When I worked for a consulting firm I of course had a boss, but if the client was happy the boss was happy. When I became independent it was only about the clients.

In some ways I think that was easier, clients tended to communicate by phone or in writing, then by email. They rarely saw me, how I was dressed, what time I got up, etc. However success in the business was 100% tied to keeping the clients happy, no HR or much of anything for protection. A client could end things on a moment's notice, without explanation. And that did happen to me a few times.

You learned to keep people happy for success, not all bad. On rare occasions I had obnoxious clients, in those cases I just found a new one. A couple even asked me to do a few things I did not feel were ethical, those were easy to drop.

Being a consultant can be a tough competitive business and isn't for everyone. However it worked for me, and part of the reason was being more free from day to day interactions with a boss.
 
I always sat back, watched the boss, learned how they operated, likes and dislikes, personality. When you know what you are dealing with the easier to please which leads to your success. That being said, I quit my last job after 8 years when the boss decided I should handle the crap part of his job with no additional pay.
 
Only once in my life I had a miserable supervisor.

I started working for the company as a car & truck mechanic later transferring to heavy equipment. The heavy equipment supervisor was a 1st. line supervisor that made working for him all but impossible & I almost quit. As a union journeyman heavy equipment field mechanic I didn't have a set location to work out of. The ire of that supervisor began when I didn't stop in after work for a few beers with him & his "friends". Quitting was because I would be sent to work at locations as much as 4 hours drive each way from my home in my own car. More often a location 2 1/2 hour drive each way from my home.

A posting for a 1st. line supervisor with specific requirements which I had was a no brainer. I submitted my resume & within a week I was looking for a home close to where my office would be. A really nice feeling having a boost in pay, moving expenses paid for by the company, home sold. New home 5 bedroom on 8 acres of land with a mortgage payment I could pay off in 5 years. Life was good.

But got even better when the position of area supervisor opened up. My performance as a supervisor was exceptional enough to get the position over a 1st. line that had 10 years longer as a 1st. line. Now I was that 1st. line supervisors boss. My boss wanted to know if I was aware they were investigating him. I didn't. Seems he was charging overtime hours {not worked} Drinking during the hours he was charging for. The company has it's own security section they watched him, documented his fraud. Since he had over 30 years with the company they let him resign. I had nothing to do with his loss of employment & wasn't sad to see him leave.

My boss retired so up another level to regional supervisor. Total of 240 employees. Fantastic wage, company car, excellent benefits & a position that became really boring. Even better when I was able to retire at age 54 with a pension, 401k, health care insurance paid until I was eligible for Medicare, then that health care monthly premium cost was put into a HSA. Sold that mortgage free 5 bedroom home during the prime time for home sales for triple what we paid for it.

As a high school grad, no college my thought was how lucky I was to hang in there back when I was ready to quit.
 
Are you in a position to find a new job? If so that's not a bad solution, the labor market is pretty employee friendly right now.
Thanks for the suggestion. Like another co-worker said "I'll probably be here long after she's gone." These people do tend to come and go. This place is accommodating me working part time.

I've had worse supervisors but like I said, she does wear on me. I've worked in the same exact kind of work for 30 years. I've tried to apply for other types of jobs in my field, but never got hired.

I'm getting very tired.
 
@Remy Right now a common expression is “quiet quitting”. It’s not about quitting the job, it’s just doing what it takes to get along. Seems like what you‘re doing. Good for you.
Thanks Jules, I heard something about this on the radio the other day. I do take my job seriously and work hard. They have implemented changes that were not told to us. And I'm not the only one who says it. It's like this one expects us to be mind readers and then projects the blame on us when we don't know.
 
I think we've all had bosses/co-workers that were less than pleasant to be around.
I hardly ever got into it, as I just worked my ass off and let that do the talking for me.
Seemed to work
I know. I never said anything in the past either.

Years ago a direct boss got fired. She couldn't stand me. She was one piece of crazy nasty. A co-worker showed me a letter she sent to corporate about her. I said "P. you aren't going to send this are you, you're going to get fired! " Her reply: "I've already sent it, certified mail." I was just OMG! What I didn't know was other people started calling and complaining about this piece of nasty also. She was fired. What a relief. But I never complained and she was straight up mean to me.
 
Thanks for the suggestion. Like another co-worker said "I'll probably be here long after she's gone." These people do tend to come and go. This place is accommodating me working part time.
Sounds like you're just going to grin and bear it, hopefully it won't be for long.

As to complaining about your boss, I wouldn't do it. I've never seen that end well for the employee...
 
It's like this one expects us to be mind readers and then projects the blame on us when we don't know.
I had a sh*tty supervisor years ago literally say that to me: "~!@ #$%^&* it! Can't you read my mind?!" I said, that's not funny and he yells "I'm not kidding! A good secretary SHOULD be able to read her boss's mind!" I'm glad they kicked him upstairs not too long after that.
 
Years ago a direct boss got fired. She couldn't stand me. She was one piece of crazy nasty.
Reminds me of something I wrote awhile back;



I have a bit of a flash temper (you? Gary? a thin skinned Irish buzzard?)
Yep

Back when I toiled for others, I ran into situations with the finer forms of humanity.
Wimin in bizniss.
Aggressive, mean but polite, ornery, devious, conniving, scheming, jealous, tricky, shrewd, wimin.
…and that was just the cleaning lady.

Before I got bumped into upper management, never knew what went on in some lady’s minds.
Seemed nice, cordial, pretty, fit, a tad amatory in regard to attire of choice.
They were very good with what they did.
Puzzled me they could devote so much time to conniving and yet do such a commendable job with their departments.
And, man, cut ya down in a heartbeat, think nothing of it.
I pretty much settled in to their step-n-fetch-it guy.
Survival.

But

There were times

Planning meetings
Closed conference rooms
You could feel the electricity
their targets were each other
the stare...daggers across the conference table
Get between ‘em and you’d be zapped, turned to a quivering mass of goo, something to be mopped up and flushed.
They’d even join forces to accomplish that, then go back to efficiently plotting each other’s demise.
I was there to cut that potential electrical storm with humor

Not easy

At times I became their target
I’m not a guy that dwells on things
Guys are like that
Git mad at someone, have it out, done, over.

But,

with these ladies, they caused me to think, even dream up certain scenarios.
I’d find myself, on the way to work, thinking up snappy comebacks.
Never came to fruition, but, somehow gratifying.

However

Even if one was successful in the upbraiding dept, they’d pull out their ultimate weapon...crying.

I was culling some scrap wire in the warehouse.
Left over garbage from an auction lot.
Wasn’t even in inventory.
The QAM came running at me.

‘You can’t just scrap that without getting approval!’
‘Nothing is scrap unless I say it is!’

Got all in my face
Started thumping my chest
I focused on her finger, thumping as she blathered
Something welled within
Took the ten pound spool of unusable wire
Raised it high
And smashed it on the warehouse floor with as much force as I could muster
‘Now! It’s scrap!!’
(felt like Moses)

She ran off, locked herself in her office.
You could hear her in there, crying.

‘bout then the prez came thru the front door
Whistling a joyful tune
Holding a happy meal breakfast in a bag
Got some coffee
Asked how things were going

Heh

I so love retirement
 
Remy,
Sorry you are having this situation and the stress.

I experienced it many times over the 43 year I worked in the Oilpatch before I retired 1-Feb-21.

Following is a particial excerpt from a Post on Early Retirement Forum - that helped me get thru the last ~10 years before I retired.

This guy, Jaeger, expressed it more clearly and better than I ever could.

Hang tuff !

[/QUOTE] One of the tragedies of corporate America is the periodic dysfunction of managers – the political intrigues, the intimidations, and occasionally the outright bullying that gets exhibited. You can’t work at a megacorp and not experience it. And it becomes more prevalent the further you climb the corporate ladder.

The reciprocal to that first tragedy is that most people are stuck. They need their jobs. There is an undercurrent of quiet desperation that lies just beneath the surface. And so they do what they must. They suck it up, absorbing the drama and the politics and the dysfunction. They live with the ever present anxiety of potential loss.

The notion of being able to take a principled stand is a luxury very few have.

We mostly think of financial independence as simply the near prelude to an enjoyable retirement. It’s more than that, though. For those still working, it is perhaps the most liberating thing they can possibly experience.[/QUOTE]
 
This guy, Jaeger, expressed it more clearly and better than I ever could.
WOW!

That excerpt is so very on the mark.

I shouldn't really single out women.
Men, can be ogres
Might be the only difference, men show you the knife (with joy) before they stab you in the back
 
We mostly think of financial independence as simply the near prelude to an enjoyable retirement
I remember when I first retired

Oh yeahhhhh

It's what retirement is all about.

The first weeks I'd set the alarm
Just to hear the neighbors warming their cars

Then
Turn the pillow to the cool side
...and giggle myself back to sweet sweet slumber

Didn't take long to find out I could do whatever I want, whenever I want
ALLLLLLLLLL THE TIME
 


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