Warrigal
SF VIP
- Location
- Sydney, Australia
I was deleting a lot of useless old files from my computer today and came across this helpful information for people thinking of visiting Australia for the 2000 Olympics.
Posted for all our OS friends
The reason I post these tips is because there are still a lot of people who are very confused by the very concept of A Land Downunder. Here are some questions that were asked of the Sydney Olympic Committee via their Web site, and answers supplied where appropriate.
Posted for all our OS friends
Tips to Surviving Australia:
See Also: "Deserts: How to die in them," "The Stick: Second most useful thing ever" and "Poisonous and Venomous arachnids, insects, animals, trees, shrubs, fish and sheep of Australia, volumes 1-42"
Don't ever put your hand down a hole for any reason whatsoever. We mean it.
The beer is stronger than you think, regardless of how strong you think it is.
Always carry a stick.
Air-conditioning.
Do not attempt to use Australian slang, unless you are a trained linguist and good in a fist fight.
Thick socks.
Take good maps. Stopping to ask directions only works when there are people nearby.
If you leave the urban areas, carry several litres of water with you at all times, or you will die.
Even in the most embellished stories told by Australians, there is always a core of truth that it is unwise to ignore.
The reason I post these tips is because there are still a lot of people who are very confused by the very concept of A Land Downunder. Here are some questions that were asked of the Sydney Olympic Committee via their Web site, and answers supplied where appropriate.
Q: Will I be able to see kangaroos in the street? (USA)
A: Depends on how much beer you've consumed...
Q: Which direction should I drive - Perth to Darwin or Darwin to Perth - to avoid driving with the sun in my eyes? (Germany)
A: Excellent question, considering that the Olympics are being held in Sydney.
Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Australia? (USA)
A: What's this guy smoking, and where do I get some?
Q: Which direction is North in Australia? (USA)
A: Face North and you should be about right.
Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? (USA)
A: Americans have long had considerable trouble distinguishing between Austria and Australia.
Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? (USA)
A: Yes, but you'll have to learn it first.

