I find it difficult to remain quiet when I hear someone giving misinformation or spreading gossip without the proper knowledge...I have been told more than once to ignore what is being said...impossible ...walk away..not always possible...how do you deal with these situations...help
Tips on how to keep your cool
- Thread starter Snow74
- Start date
RFW
Certified Night Owl
- Location
- United States
If it's in my expertise, I'll correct them and, whether they believe it or not, I just leave it at that. I prefer to be nonconfrontational these days.
Chris P Bacon
Well-known Member
- Location
- Cuenca Ecuador
Just agree with them and after they’re satisfied that they’re “right”, try to move the conversation in a different direction or abandon it, if necessary. There’s always a choice to do something else. Life is too short to be tilting at windmills.
Aunt Bea
SF VIP
- Location
- Near Mount Pilot
It depends on the topic and the people involved.
If I care about either, I usually speak up and say my piece.
I try to stay out of the endless bickering back and forth, but sometimes I do end up wallowing around in the mud.
I always feel bad after that happens.
If I care about either, I usually speak up and say my piece.
I try to stay out of the endless bickering back and forth, but sometimes I do end up wallowing around in the mud.
I always feel bad after that happens.
RFW
Certified Night Owl
- Location
- United States
I understand. For that very reason, I only engage in deep conversations with close friends.
I know what you mean..you would think at 74 I would ha learned that informing some is impossible
Knight
Well-known Member
It's not clear to me if you mean someone is talking directly to you or you overhear a conversation.
For me if I'm in direct conversation & I know about whatever I'll listen then question. If overhearing a conversation I'll ignore it and walk away since to intrude would be rude.
Questioning without being demanding allows the other person to explain how they arrived at their information.
For me if I'm in direct conversation & I know about whatever I'll listen then question. If overhearing a conversation I'll ignore it and walk away since to intrude would be rude.
Questioning without being demanding allows the other person to explain how they arrived at their information.
Example….service man was here to repair furnace..I am sitting in living room…service person starts talking garbage against our Prime Minister..pure garbage..I did not interrupt for I share accommodations and this was not my concern,but,how unprofessional..difficult to walk away and why should I..I did not start controversial topics ewith friends..I do enjoy a good none angry debate that is how we learn..
Knight
Well-known Member
Was the service person talking to the person you share accommodations with or you? If talking garbage to you that would be a great opportunity to question why he thought the way he did.
If talking to the person you share accommodations with, then you could question that person later what he/she thought about the service person's comments.
Either way you get an insight into what another person thinks.
I'm not good at staying out of things, but I suppose it depends on the situation. If I overhear someone giving another person incorrect directions, I think I'd be comfortable interrupting with a correction ('no, go NORTH on 156th'), or if they are slandering someone I know I'd butt into the conversation. But if it is some current political hot-topic I'd probably just wimp out because I wouldn't want to deal with the hostile emotions that would get directed at me.
You kind of sound like me…
Bellbird
-Oceania-South Pacific
- Location
- New Zealand
I don’t get involved unless it is directed at me, then if I can see I am wasting my time, I walk away. What I have found over the years is by staying silent, that speaks a thousand words.
Irwin
Well-known Member
- Location
- Denver, Colorado, U.S.A.
I think that comes from wanting people to be better than they actually are. My turning point came when I finally accepted the fact that there are a lot of despicable people in the world — people who don't have an ounce of integrity or shame. It turned me into a misanthrope, but at least I don't get pissed off any more when I encounter one of them. Online, I can just ignore them.
Alligatorob
SF VIP
I like the ignore or walk away options, they would be my first choice.
If that can't happen I usually take one stab at correcting things.
If that doesn't work I start talking about something I think will be less contentious and maybe something we can agree on. Its really a more proactive version of the ignore option...
Most of the time it’s just not worth the battle. If someone is ranting and I disagree, I ignore them and try to leave. My brain doesn’t ignore them though and it’s a good thing they don’t have the power to read my thoughts.
palides2021
Well-known Member
- Location
- MidAtlantic, USA
@Snow74, if this service man had entered my house, I am pretty sure I would not have given him the chance to spew out political beliefs. So I'm assuming you were kind to him and he opened up. Am I right? I would have stayed on the topic of his job, and once he was done, paid him and he would be gone. I try not to be too friendly with people I do not know, particularly if they are in my home the first time, servicing or repairing something, but if I know them and get good vibes, I can chat with them. But the important thing is, I always avoid two topics: politics and religion. Those two topics are steeped in emotion.
The issue is that this is your home, so how do you get rid of this person in a polite way? If they start talking politics, which is rare in my home town, by the way, I would nod politely and excuse myself by saying something like: "Sorry, but I have an appointment to go to. Thank you for your time." I probably would not have him return to my house in the future if I received these emotional rants. Too tiring to deal with. Just my two bits.
The issue is that this is your home, so how do you get rid of this person in a polite way? If they start talking politics, which is rare in my home town, by the way, I would nod politely and excuse myself by saying something like: "Sorry, but I have an appointment to go to. Thank you for your time." I probably would not have him return to my house in the future if I received these emotional rants. Too tiring to deal with. Just my two bits.
fancicoffee13
Senior Member
- Location
- Texas
I take a deep breath, excuse myself and I will be right back, come back and don't touch the subject unless asked for my opinion. Most of the time anyway. Arguing is not productive especially with people who think/know they are right and you are wrong.
fancicoffee13
Senior Member
- Location
- Texas
I also agree with the saying, "agree to disagree" and let it go.@Snow74, if this service man had entered my house, I am pretty sure I would not have given him the chance to spew out political beliefs. So I'm assuming you were kind to him and he opened up. Am I right? I would have stayed on the topic of his job, and once he was done, paid him and he would be gone. I try not to be too friendly with people I do not know, particularly if they are in my home the first time, servicing or repairing something, but if I know them and get good vibes, I can chat with them. But the important thing is, I always avoid two topics: politics and religion. Those two topics are steeped in emotion.
The issue is that this is your home, so how do you get rid of this person in a polite way? If they start talking politics, which is rare in my home town, by the way, I would nod politely and excuse myself by saying something like: "Sorry, but I have an appointment to go to. Thank you for your time." I probably would not have him return to my house in the future if I received these emotional rants. Too tiring to deal with. Just my two bits.
RadishRose
SF VIP
- Location
- Connecticut, USA
I agree.. you're very wise.@Snow74, if this service man had entered my house, I am pretty sure I would not have given him the chance to spew out political beliefs. So I'm assuming you were kind to him and he opened up. Am I right? I would have stayed on the topic of his job, and once he was done, paid him and he would be gone. I try not to be too friendly with people I do not know, particularly if they are in my home the first time, servicing or repairing something, but if I know them and get good vibes, I can chat with them. But the important thing is, I always avoid two topics: politics and religion. Those two topics are steeped in emotion.
The issue is that this is your home, so how do you get rid of this person in a polite way? If they start talking politics, which is rare in my home town, by the way, I would nod politely and excuse myself by saying something like: "Sorry, but I have an appointment to go to. Thank you for your time." I probably would not have him return to my house in the future if I received these emotional rants. Too tiring to deal with. Just my two bits.
Murrmurr
SF VIP
- Location
- Sacramento, California
Yeah, I'm with @palides2021 - "Well, I have things to do, so thanks for coming."
You know you can't change everyone's mind, you're sure someone's got it all wrong, or whatever, but when it's clear they're wasting your time, you just have to cut and go.
You know you can't change everyone's mind, you're sure someone's got it all wrong, or whatever, but when it's clear they're wasting your time, you just have to cut and go.