To All of You Suffering Through the holidays

ChiroDoc said:
Ruthanne, it was very nice and timely of you to bring up this subject. Hate to hear that you're having a rough time, and surely there are plenty of folks who are unhappy for one reason or another-- which is doubly hard to handle at Christmastime. It surely helps some to realize that they're not alone in their tough times. God bless you.
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Ty. Nice to meet you and best wishes for Happy Holidays to you and yours ❣️
 
Well I must admit I admit I spent the I have spent the last half hour cyrying and screaming at my husband who has been gone these last fourteen years, What he did was being so selfish and self-involved that he could not go to the doctor. When he did finally go it was too late. I know it is something wrong with me, but I still can't forgive him. To be so wrapped up in his job there was not time for his son, me and his home that he ignored everything thing else..
That he was that sick but nothing else mattered but being important at work mattered, it cost him his life. What the crap is that I still can't forgive him, I am still angry, I still breakdown and scream and cry like tonight. How did he think that some job was so important to die for? How did he not think that his family was more important: What kind of man thinks his job defines his life?

It has been 15 years and I still cry and scream........
 
Blessed said:
Well I must admit I admit I spent the I have spent the last half hour cyrying and screaming at my husband who has been gone these last fourteen years, What he did was being so selfish and self-involved that he could not go to the doctor. When he did finally go it was too late. I know it is something wrong with me, but I still can't forgive him. To be so wrapped up in his job there was not time for his son, me and his home that he ignored everything thing else..
That he was that sick but nothing else mattered but being important at work mattered, it cost him his life. What the crap is that I still can't forgive him, I am still angry, I still breakdown and scream and cry like tonight. How did he think that some job was so important to die for? How did he not think that his family was more important: What kind of man thinks his job defines his life?

It has been 15 years and I still cry and scream........
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Thanks Mark most me do not get how I feel, it would have been better if he would have run off with a 25yr old blonde, his son would have still had his Dad, to lose his Dad was something to a job is something I can just can't accept.
 
I got one of those annual Christmas letters where everyone is traveling and doing wonderful things. "This year saw so and so in cap and gown." Well, this year saw me in hospital gown, not once but three times. Thinking how my letter might sound after this awful year actually lightened the mood.
Let's hope next year is better.
Merry Christmas, everyone. Please be well and know you are loved.
 
Babs2u said:
I got one of those annual Christmas letters where everyone is traveling and doing wonderful things. "This year saw so and so in cap and gown." Well, this year saw me in hospital gown, not once but three times. Thinking how my letter might sound after this awful year actually lightened the mood.
Let's hope next year is better.
Merry Christmas, everyone. Please be well and know you are loved.
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3 times, oh gosh.....
I hope this next year goes better for you.

I also see the humor in it, that you pointed out, we could write opposite type of an annual report. o_O but who would we send those to? 🙃😉

But truly let's hope things improve, very soon, for all.
 
My darling girl. It does does give me comfort that someone else doe understands the depth and heartbreak of such a loss. It also breaks my heart that others have to suffer.
 
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Thanks for the thread. I don't want to compare troubles because everyone has different ones and everyone has a right to feel how they feel.

I was already braced to hate Christmas and trying my best to survive it when I found my refrigerator/freezer is broken. I spent the day cleaning it out. That wasn't in the plan.
 
I try to let nostalgia have sway this time of year. It seems to work to take off the edge and let a little feeling of wonder to return.

Right now I'm imagining that if I could draw, what would I choose to draw? Then I doodle squares and ovals, writing in text, and decorating with random doo-dads or crude renderings of things within them.

The topic today was the old A&P store where I went to at night once a week or so grocery shopping with the old man when I was maybe 4 years old. It was at one end anchoring an early shopping mall of the type that's dying out these days. When we got home old shows like "Whirlybirds" were on TV. I remember the big red A&P coffee grinders at the checkout with the large flywheels and I remember the smell of coffee grinding. That old "A&P Eight O'clock Coffee."

So my pencil doodles tonight are about those shopping nights. As I wrote and scribbled I tried to let memories flow back to fill in the blocks. Grocery items, helicopters, some outdoor Christmas decorations on lamp posts, etc.

Each time I do this I just fill one page in an 8 1/2 by 11 inch spiral notebook. I date each page then put the book back in the top drawer of the dresser. I see that the last one I did was near the end of Summer.
 
Blessed said:
Well I must admit I admit I spent the I have spent the last half hour cyrying and screaming at my husband who has been gone these last fourteen years, What he did was being so selfish and self-involved that he could not go to the doctor. When he did finally go it was too late. I know it is something wrong with me, but I still can't forgive him. To be so wrapped up in his job there was not time for his son, me and his home that he ignored everything thing else..
That he was that sick but nothing else mattered but being important at work mattered, it cost him his life. What the crap is that I still can't forgive him, I am still angry, I still breakdown and scream and cry like tonight. How did he think that some job was so important to die for? How did he not think that his family was more important: What kind of man thinks his job defines his life?

It has been 15 years and I still cry and scream........
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That's great you get it off your chest!😊💓 That's a normal part of grieving. Hugs to you 🤗. I bet your pups understand too. Mine cuddles up with me whatever I'm going through.
 
LoveTulips said:
So sorry that you're having a sad Christmas season and anyone else too. I might not be feeling too Christmassy this year, but really I have a lot to be grateful for, our health, roof over our heads, good food to eat, and time to enjoy life, being retired.
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Gratitude is a great healer!🤗💜
 

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