Top Signs You Have a Lousy Psychiatrist

Beezer

Well-known Member
1) The sign on his door says Boiler Room.

2) In stead of a diploma behind him, it's a picture of dogs playing poker.

3) Ever time you relate a story he keeps scratching his nose and says, "That's f*ckin awesome!!"

Just a few off the top of my nut. Feel free to add your own!
 

Guy goes to his psychiatrist appointment completely naked...dressed only in saran wrap.

The doctor looks at him and says, "I can clearly see your nuts."
 

Doctor: "I'm sorry but you only have 3 months to live."

Patient: "What?! But how will I ever be able to pay you in that short amount of time?"

Doctor: "In that case, you've got 6 months to live."
 
True stories.
In the 60's my Navy sister Had a 'breakdown' while working as an aide on the mental ward of a VA hospital. She was diagnosed as schizophrenic, kept hospitalized and heavily medicated for years, even when she became out patient. She had a sense of humor about it tho there was a sinister backstory we did not learn ill decades later.

1) She was in various VA facilities over the years. At one, she was part of a group taken on field trip to local theater. Before heading back she and other female patients went to restroom. She climbed up on the toilet thinking to prank their attendants. She figured head count would reveal her absence, and they'd look for her.

When they didn't after several minutes, she headed for the bus that brought them, it had left. She had no money on her, so walked the several miles to the VA hospital on outskirts of town. By then it was dark: Visiting hours over, doors locked. Imagine the surprise of staff when a petite woman began pounding on the doors yelling: "Let me in! I belong here."

2) In the late 70s or early 80s, she was an outpatient married to a WWII & Korean combat vet also on full disability for mental health issues. During a round of military budget changes she got a letter stating she was no longer fully disabled, cutting her benefits in half. She called all three of us, as well parents. "How many people can say they have documents from US government proclaiming them 50% sane?" She asked.
 
im-terribly-sorry-robert-weber.jpg
 
When you lay on the couch and he lays down next to you.
 


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