Totalitarian Talkers

H

hypochondriac

Senior Member
Location
Australia
Before someone takes this personally let me reassure you that my partner has accused me of same. I pleaded guilty and got off with a promise of better behaviour . Being a better listener that is.
The feeling of being trapped with a dogmatc talkaholic is unpleasant . Every time you try to interrupt, they nip your first word in the bud. For them every conversation is a contest.
"I must dominate. I must. Otherwise they will dominate me. "
I got caught with a librarian once. You would think they are easygoing flexible and fun to chat with. Not this time.
I felt like I was in a straightjacket.
"Heres the deal Hypo. I talk you listen. Your input is inconsequential. Your humour is irrelevant. Just listen to me and you will be given the facts of the matter."
Thats how I felt.
Interestingly they are probably not aware of how they come across. They might even see themselves as kind and generous. Who knows.
The lesson for me here is to avoid the same behaviour as a talker. Im not a good listener. Im often focussed on what I am going to say next. Plenty of room for improvement Hypo! But never give up! 😃
 

The worst kind are the ones who adopt an aggressive tone as if to say "don't mess with me" and lose all humour. As if indeed they had any in the first place. "Take me seriously or else!" :)
So does really good uninterrupting listening, calm them down? My experience is, if you give them the floor, without interrupting, they will take it and run. Give an inch, take a mile.
I really wonder whether patience with such people is a good idea. But as Ruthanne suggested, we need to take into consideration if they are elderly and cut them some slack.
 
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hypochondriac said:
The worst kind are the ones who adopt an aggressive tone as if to say "don't mess with me" and lose all humour. As if indeed they had any in the first place. "Take me seriously or else!" :)
So does really good uninterrupting listening, calm them down? My experience is, if you give them the floor, without interrupting, they will take it and run. Give an inch, take a mile.
I really wonder whether patience with such people is a good idea. But as Ruthanne suggested, we need to take into consideration if they are elderly and cut them some slack.
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I used to try and interrupt my mom by waiting for when she'd come up for air...or when she'd take a breath in other words but damn was it hard to find a way to get a word in edgewise!
 
I once had this tv personality fellow stop by my tattoo shop. He was a friend of my co-worker. He talked at me for one hour and twenty minutes, non-stop. Try as I might, I couldn't get a word in edgewise. I was on good behavior because he was a friend of a friend, and on tv doing a show about businesses in Austin. Truly, it was one of the most awkward experiences I ever had. I was so glad when he left.
 
treeguy64 said:
I would like to do, for you, the last 71 lines of Act 3, scene 2 of Henry VI: the longest soliloquy in all of Shakespeare! :p
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Whew. I was beginning to think people thought I was serious...ty treeguy 😊
 
I have long since realized that I am a motormouth. Yeppers, I'm a talker all right. :eek::ROFLMAO:

The only saving grace is that I'm also a good listener. A few of my longtime clients refer to me as their "therapist" or make comments like "I need some therapy time" when they're having a bad day or some life issue or just need to talk something through.
 
I have a neighbor across the street like that. He's a nice guy. A little rough around the edges as he's worked construction all his life but he has a good heart. But I dread getting stuck in a conversation with him. There's no way to get a word in edgewise, not that I would want to because that would just encourage him to talk even more. I've often wondered, "when do these people breathe?" Many times I have started out to check my mail and turned around and gone back in the house because I have seen him out in his front yard.
 
Lot of people think it is their way of being friendly I guess. Used to tell my husband, just give me the highlights. He'd say, "I can't, I have to start at the beginning for it to come out right." At least 20 minutes later he'd get up and walk away to get something from the kitchen or whatever. I know, the wind it comes and then it blows.
 
I did a routine stop on the turnpike for speeding. When I got to the car, a lady had her license ready, so I had to remind her that I also needed her registration and proof of insurance.

She then tells me that she just changed insurance companies and did not have the new card. Before I could say anything, she starts telling me this long story of why she switched insurance companies and yadda, yadda, yadda. After maybe 3 or4 minutes of listening to her ramble, I tried to interrupt her, but she never missed a beat.

I finally just walked back to my car and ran her license. Everything checked out, so I just handed her the cards back and told her to have a nice day. She was still rambling when I walked away from her car.
 
Lara said:
hahaha 911...I'll have to remember that woman's clever trick. You sound like a nice cop. I got stopped for speeding once...nevermind, it's a long story and I don't think anyone in this thread wants to hear it 😆
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I'd like to hear it! 😀😂
 
Ruthanne said:
I'd like to hear it! 😀😂
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Haha, ok, so I admit I'm speeding down the road when an unmarked police car pulls along side me pointing at me to slow down. Now we're both speeding side by side. He's yelling at me and pointing. I know he wants me to pull over but how do I know he's truly a cop? Plus, there's another man in the front passenger seat wearing one of those thick checkered lumberjack shirts and a beard. I get scared and speed up. Now we're both doing like 80mph. Then I see an oncoming cop car on the other side of the road who quickly makes a U-Turn with lights flashing and pulls me over. I stop and explain that I was scared because I wasn't sure he was a cop. He smiled at me and said "that was an officer transporting a prisoner but just be careful and don't speed". Apparently the other cop radioed him. No ticket. Nice guy.

Thanks for listening Ruthanne😆
 
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Im a much better reader than listener. Sometimes a person's voice tone or pitch or phrasing makes it hard to focus on what they are saying. My own speaking voice is not ideal.
So I ask my wife "if its important text me as well". im not good at remembering detail. Like for instance the next grooming apptment for our dog. Day and time.
Im much more suited to writing and reading. Hence why i like internet forums.
 

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