Treats brought to club party not for members

debodun

debodun

SF VIP
Location
way upstate in New York, USA
A woman in our local senior's club always makes candy pops and brings them to meetings that fall just before holidays. This year was no exception. She walked in with a huge basket of them and put them on the cookie swap table. Later on, when we had the cookie swap, I helped myself to some and put them in my goodie bag to bring home. Suddenly a voice behind me said "What are you doing? Did you take more than one? Those are for the kids, you know." It was the person that brought the pops and I didn't know that the candy was just for the kids. Apparently she made them for the high school chorus kids who were coming to entertain us with a holiday concert. She wanted me to return to her the ones I had already taken. I gave her back three of the four I had. If she didn't want people to take the pops, she shouldn't have put them on the swap table, or else make an announcement about it. I was embarrassed that she called be out on this in front of everyone there and that it was like I was the only one that didn't know about for whom the pops were meant. I was wondering why no one else took any.

How would you feel about it?
 

Do those kids come every year? If this was something special for the kids, she probably should have put some kind of sign on the candy. I'm the type to only take one though.
 
SeaBreeze said:
I'm the type to only take one though.
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Not me....I am in it for all I can get and there's usually many left over in her basket. There was never a restrictions before on her candy. The same woman also had an issue with a game we played. We had to answer 25 Christmas trivia questions. I got 21 correct and was awarded a prize, then 10 minutes later, she piped up that she had 22 correct and demanded that I give her the prize I already won. However, I was allowed to keep mine and she was given a consolation prize. Why did it take her so long to determine how many answers she had correct? Sheesh!
 
I sent a message to another club member that is also a FB friend and asked her if she was asked to return any candy pops at the club party and told her what happened to me. She responded that she was not asked to give back any, but she only took one which she felt was appropriate and wasn't surprised that I got told about it when everyone saw me stuffing handfuls of them into my goodie bag. Now I didn't take "handfuls" - I had four.
 
I would find another club. This one doesn't seem to fit you. I would never want to be involved with an organization whose members engage in gossip. I would seek a place with a positive attitude and behave the way others do. Taking extra to take home may not be acceptable, and to have an attitude that you're in it for all you can get may not be the best to have and at the same time, maintain friendships with people. Look at it this way--if there isn't enough for everyone to take a bagful home or if no one has told you to help yourself to leftovers, you may want to rethink your actions for the sake of comraderie at this club. It's whatever you feel is most important.
 
The whole senior Christmas party got off on the wrong foot. The person that runs the senior's club seemed distracted and unorganized (even more so than usual). She said they were late setting up the tables for us in the gym of the community center because they had another event there the evening before. When I arrived at the designated time, she had me unwrap paper plates and packages of napkins. Then she forgot something and had to go to the store 5 miles away to get it, leaving everyone hanging. What should have started at 11 am didn't really get going until well after noon, then we had the kids coming in at 1 pm for the concert, so it didn't really leave much time for anything else but lunch, a grab bag and cookie exchange.
 
Carla said:
I would find another club. This one doesn't seem to fit you. I would never want to be involved with an organization whose members engage in gossip. I would seek a place with a positive attitude and behave the way others do. Taking extra to take home may not be acceptable, and to have an attitude that you're in it for all you can get may not be the best to have and at the same time, maintain friendships with people. Look at it this way--if there isn't enough for everyone to take a bagful home or if no one has told you to help yourself to leftovers, you may want to rethink your actions for the sake of comraderie at this club. It's whatever you feel is most important.
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I tend to agree.

I'm so thankful that my quiet little life is drama free.
 
I would have only taken one, but that's just me. In any case, she could have quietly told you without calling you out in front of others. I think you should drop the whole messaging on FB thing and not make a bigger deal of it than it is. Let it go. Next year you'll know better.
 
It sounds as if it's the sort of club that wouldn't want us as a members. It also sounds the sort of club we would keep well clear of but that's beside the point. So you took a few eatables - so what? To even think of mentioning it tells me that the reason for bringing the things was purely selfish, a sort of "Look at clever me!" rather than a genuine gift.

Sod her, you've learned that someone you knew has a nasty character flaw.

Me? I'm not a nice person. I'd have told her where to stuff her cookies, think suppositories.
 
Dwelling on it Deb is just getting you down, you should kick that habit and consciously try not to make any more of something that is deserved. In the big picture, something like this is really meaningless, puts a damper on your holiday celebrations and memories, IMO.
 
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