feywon
Well-known Member
- Location
- Rural North Central NM
Possible triggers in this post. But my thoughts too scattered and feelings too tender to be more organized.
Most everyone in our age range has emotional scars of some kind.
Many are 'walking wounded', they haven't healed. So the slightest touch can trigger pain. i am deeply aware of this, tho i'm rather sure some on the forum have suffered much more than i have. Some have suffered less--but as La Desiderata mentions, comparisons are pointless. There will always those who suffered more or suffered less. And how would one even measure the 'more/less'? Whatever happened to each person affected them deeply, if they never let it scar over. Sometimes even when it does scar, it is still sensitive to pressure.
If it were a physical injury one might say a broken arm is more painful than broken finger--you might feel lucky if you're the one with the broken finger--but in reality does it hurt you any less because you know others have worse injuries? And emotional pains are much more difficult to quantify. Because what ties one person in knots may make some else defensive, aggressive even; to a third person the same mistreatment might be something they think they would have preferred to what they actually endured.
We all have tender spots. i thought most of mine had healed but knowing i triggered someone else triggered me greatly. It took almost an hour of thinking on it to realize why, it was something i thought i'd long since resolved. Obviously not. It reminded me how easy it is to plunge someone into an emotional turmoil, that's something i try not to do that. i don't go for the emotional jugular, not even with those closest to me whose unhealed wounds i'm well aware of, not even while they are going for mine.
i suppose i'm saying all this to suggest that unless you know a great deal of personal intimate details about someone, don't presume that because they rarely mention it that they have no wounds or scars. Before you unload on or about them ask yourself if you are prepared to have them respond in kind? To tell you in detail what triggers them and why?
Most everyone in our age range has emotional scars of some kind.
Many are 'walking wounded', they haven't healed. So the slightest touch can trigger pain. i am deeply aware of this, tho i'm rather sure some on the forum have suffered much more than i have. Some have suffered less--but as La Desiderata mentions, comparisons are pointless. There will always those who suffered more or suffered less. And how would one even measure the 'more/less'? Whatever happened to each person affected them deeply, if they never let it scar over. Sometimes even when it does scar, it is still sensitive to pressure.
If it were a physical injury one might say a broken arm is more painful than broken finger--you might feel lucky if you're the one with the broken finger--but in reality does it hurt you any less because you know others have worse injuries? And emotional pains are much more difficult to quantify. Because what ties one person in knots may make some else defensive, aggressive even; to a third person the same mistreatment might be something they think they would have preferred to what they actually endured.
We all have tender spots. i thought most of mine had healed but knowing i triggered someone else triggered me greatly. It took almost an hour of thinking on it to realize why, it was something i thought i'd long since resolved. Obviously not. It reminded me how easy it is to plunge someone into an emotional turmoil, that's something i try not to do that. i don't go for the emotional jugular, not even with those closest to me whose unhealed wounds i'm well aware of, not even while they are going for mine.
i suppose i'm saying all this to suggest that unless you know a great deal of personal intimate details about someone, don't presume that because they rarely mention it that they have no wounds or scars. Before you unload on or about them ask yourself if you are prepared to have them respond in kind? To tell you in detail what triggers them and why?
