Unrecognizable Signs of Growing up Poor

[VintageBetter]

I'm sorry for all that, I was forced into a caretaker role as a young child and spent most of my life being responsible for others welfare. It can certainly be a thankless way to live and wears a person out physically and emotionally.

Do you feel you filled those roles because you grew up poor?

No, not really. It was more likely because I am female. E.g., In my marriage, we had a partnership and I was trying to be a good wife and a good friend. I don't think poverty had anything to do with that. It was, and is, part of my character to not let people down who are counting on me. Where did that come from? I did see my parents take care of each other, when they were not yelling.

 

[seadoug]

I agree with the opening post but it can also go both ways. We were a very poor family when I was a kid but us siblings took different directions in our lives.

I worked my ass off to climb out of poverty and set a goal that my kids would start life much further up the ladder. I live frugally but enjoy quality in my life and not afraid to pay for it.

Two of my siblings went the other way. They embraced being poor as the only option. They have always spent what little they have recklessly, never have anything nice and never take care of what they do have. They view everything from a negative perspective because despair is all they want to know.

So why was I motivated to achieve and they weren't? Yet we were raised in the same home. My point being while I believe we carry some of our childhood into our adult lives that doesn't set our future. So being frugal doesn't necessarily mean you were raised in poverty, it could simply be you have enough sense not to spend like an idiot.

You sound like my father. He was raised in the NC mountains, very poor with two younger brothers. They were both alcoholics and had no desire to move out of their town or further their careers. My father was always the care-giver for his younger brothers and fished them "out of the gutter".

He moved out of the his parents' boarding house and went to college at 15 y/o, as I mentioned in an earlier post. He was intelligent and determined to better himself. He became very successful. His younger brothers passed away very young due to complications related to alcoholism.

My father was an inspiration to me and I appreciate every day that I have a better, more comfortable life in adulthood due to his determination.

It is admirable that you worked so hard to build a better life for yourself and your family. Your children will certainly appreciate you for it.

 

[C50]

You sound like my father. He was raised in the NC mountains, very poor with two younger brothers. They were both alcoholics and had no desire to move out of their town or further their careers. My father was always the care-giver for his younger brothers and fished them "out of the gutter".

He moved out of the his parents' boarding house and went to college at 15 y/o, as I mentioned in an earlier post. He was intelligent and determined to better himself. He became very successful. His younger brothers passed away very young due to complications related to alcoholism.

My father was an inspiration to me and I appreciate every day that I have a better, more comfortable life in adulthood due to his determination.

It is admirable that you worked so hard to build a better life for yourself and your family. Your children will certainly appreciate you for it.

Thank you for saying that. I am fortunate both my kids have grown into hard working independant adults, and both express gratitude for the opportunities they were provided.