Two guys were discussing popular family trends on sex, marriage, and Family values.
Bill said, 'I didn't sleep with my wife before we got married, did you?'
Larry replied, 'I'm not sure, what was her maiden name?'
__________________________________________________ _____________
'Mr. Clark, I have reviewed this case very carefully,' the divorce Court
Judge said, 'And I've decided to give your wife $775 a week,'
'That's very fair, your honor,' the husband said. 'And every now and
then I'll try to send her a few bucks myself.'
__________________________________________________ _____________
A doctor examining a woman who had been rushed to the Emergency Room,
Took the husband aside, and said, 'I don't like the looks of your wife at all.'
'Me neither doc,' said the husband. 'But she's a great cook and really Good
with the kids.'
__________________________________________________ _____________
An old man goes to the Wizard to ask him if he can remove
a curse he has been living with for the last 40 years.
The Wizard says, 'Maybe, but you will have to tell me the exact
words that were used to put the curse on you.'
The old man says without hesitation, 'I now pronounce you man and wife.'
__________________________________________________ ___
Two Reasons Why It's So Hard To Solve A Redneck Murder:
1. The DNA all matches.
2. There are no dental records.
__________________________________________________ ___
A blonde calls Delta Airlines and asks, 'Can you tell me how
long it'll take to fly from San Francisco to New York City ?'
The agent replies, 'Just a minute.'
'Thank you,' the blonde says, and hangs up.
__________________________________________________ ___
A man is recovering from surgery when the Surgical
Nurse appears and asks him how he is feeling.
'I'm O. K. But I didn't like the four letter-words the
doctor used in surgery,' he answered.
'What did he say,' asked the nurse.
'Oops!'
__________________________________________________ ___
While shopping for vacation clothes, my husband and I passed a
display of bathing suits. It had been at least ten years and twenty
pounds since I had even considered buying a bathing suit, so I
sought my husband's advice.
'What do you think?' I asked. 'Should I get a bikini or an all-in-one?'
'Better get a bikini,' he replied. 'You'd never get it all in one.'
He's still in intensive care.
Bill said, 'I didn't sleep with my wife before we got married, did you?'
Larry replied, 'I'm not sure, what was her maiden name?'
__________________________________________________ _____________
'Mr. Clark, I have reviewed this case very carefully,' the divorce Court
Judge said, 'And I've decided to give your wife $775 a week,'
'That's very fair, your honor,' the husband said. 'And every now and
then I'll try to send her a few bucks myself.'
__________________________________________________ _____________
A doctor examining a woman who had been rushed to the Emergency Room,
Took the husband aside, and said, 'I don't like the looks of your wife at all.'
'Me neither doc,' said the husband. 'But she's a great cook and really Good
with the kids.'
__________________________________________________ _____________
An old man goes to the Wizard to ask him if he can remove
a curse he has been living with for the last 40 years.
The Wizard says, 'Maybe, but you will have to tell me the exact
words that were used to put the curse on you.'
The old man says without hesitation, 'I now pronounce you man and wife.'
__________________________________________________ ___
Two Reasons Why It's So Hard To Solve A Redneck Murder:
1. The DNA all matches.
2. There are no dental records.
__________________________________________________ ___
A blonde calls Delta Airlines and asks, 'Can you tell me how
long it'll take to fly from San Francisco to New York City ?'
The agent replies, 'Just a minute.'
'Thank you,' the blonde says, and hangs up.
__________________________________________________ ___
A man is recovering from surgery when the Surgical
Nurse appears and asks him how he is feeling.
'I'm O. K. But I didn't like the four letter-words the
doctor used in surgery,' he answered.
'What did he say,' asked the nurse.
'Oops!'
__________________________________________________ ___
While shopping for vacation clothes, my husband and I passed a
display of bathing suits. It had been at least ten years and twenty
pounds since I had even considered buying a bathing suit, so I
sought my husband's advice.
'What do you think?' I asked. 'Should I get a bikini or an all-in-one?'
'Better get a bikini,' he replied. 'You'd never get it all in one.'
He's still in intensive care.