Victim mentality

If only my husband and daughter would read that!
It sounds incredible but my husband would sit musing for some time and then come up with an incident which happened in his childhood, obviously looking for sympathy and attention. I always tried to get him to see things from a different point of view, but it didn't work.
 
Rosemarie said:
If only my husband and daughter would read that!
It sounds incredible but my husband would sit musing for some time and then come up with an incident which happened in his childhood, obviously looking for sympathy and attention. I always tried to get him to see things from a different point of view, but it didn't work.
Click to expand...
This is the idea being sold to some people.......... This started a long time ago when those in the "Mental Health " practice decided NOTHING is your fault.
One of the best skills many people do not have is the ability to try to see things from a different point.
 
Keesha said:
21 signs you have victim mentality

https://www.followyourownrhythm.com/blog-1/2019/2/11/signs-of-victim-mentality

https://www.google.ca/amp/s/www.psychologytoday.com/ca/blog/mindful-anger/201505/you-may-be-playing-the-victim-and-not-even-know-it?amp

https://www.tiffanygoyer.com/blog/victim-mentality
Click to expand...
Sadly as I read through these links they completely describe some people whom used to be in my life...... and people that I distance from as i see the signs appearing....
You cannot do Enough ever to help....... they simply drain you........

What I have seen in this is a complete promotion of this........ look at the industries/ people that benefit from it ..... victimhood has become a cottage industry ......
I spoke with a "friend" who worked with people who seem stuck in bad situations and blaming it on victim instead of bad choices and no effort ....... asked friend if she just did not see it ....she said "if I really fixed them ,,, I would be out of a job"
I at first thought she was kidding but nope she was serious ......
 
I read the first hyperlink. Very well written and makes a lot of sense. I think we all become a victim at one time or another. I can’t remember offhand of a time for me right now, but I’m sure one (or more times) occurred.

What used to bother me was if I would be talking to someone about a problem that I may be having at home, work or whatever and they would counter by switching the issue to themselves. Doing that would sometimes touch a nerve with me, but I have overcome that and now I just end the conversation.
 
We become victims from the moment we are born. The thing is, do we adapt, or do we become everybody's PITA. I esp. abhor those who are constantly looking for a leader.
 
Unfortunately I go through stages of victim mentality. Going through those 21 signs of victim mentality, I can relate to many of them. For a while I was in the blame everyone stage mentality however I’m becoming much more mindful and consciously aware of my mental states however it takes constant effort.

Since I have people pleasing characteristics, I don’t often take advantage of others but since I lack confidence I often take things personally when they aren’t meant that way which leads to problems with communication. Then I’ll worry if I offended anyone.

I believe it’s from feeling ‘not good enough’ and it’s not THAT uncommon. I’m certainly the type that can listen to someone having a bad day and suddenly start talking about a similar incident I’ve had in attempts to connect to help them feel better when actually it’s a narcissistic trait seeping out.

Having said all that I can go through long stages of being completely independent and not want to engage with anyone. I’ve always connected to nature best but most empaths do. Most empaths also have mental disorders as well.

Being human isn’t always easy and some people do better at it than others. I’m a work in progress.
 
Keesha said:
Unfortunately I go through stages of victim mentality. Going through those 21 signs of victim mentality, I can relate to many of them. For a while I was in the blame everyone stage mentality however I’m becoming much more mindful and consciously aware of my mental states however it takes constant effort.

Since I have people pleasing characteristics, I don’t often take advantage of others but since I lack confidence I often take things personally when they aren’t meant that way which leads to problems with communication. Then I’ll worry if I offended anyone.

I believe it’s from feeling ‘not good enough’ and it’s not THAT uncommon. I’m certainly the type that can listen to someone having a bad day and suddenly start talking about a similar incident I’ve had in attempts to connect to help them feel better when actually it’s a narcissistic trait seeping out.

Having said all that I can go through long stages of being completely independent and not want to engage with anyone. I’ve always connected to nature best but most empaths do. Most empaths also have mental disorders as well.

Being human isn’t always easy and some people do better at it than others. I’m a work in progress.
Click to expand...
Keesha,
To some extent we can see a bit of ourselves in at least one or two or maybe more traits listed .... I think that is normal.

I too used to be more of a people pleasing but have found being direct and not just trying to smooth things has freed me up.

I feel that people shy away from relating a similar experience believing it is a narcissistic .....but if done well can be helpful..........my best ah-ha moments......... is when someone can really explain from their perspective......... as opposed to just nodding and agreeing or speaking in generalities.

We all are a work in progress the only issue i see is many are not really working on it.... kind of like buying exercise outfits but only watching the video not doing the exercise.
 

You must log in or register to reply here.

Back
Top