Virginia couple married for 30 years claim they've never argued.

here's a clue. They're lying! They probably also bet their friends that they could spin a story so insane, that the media would grab hold of it.

My wife's parents were amazing in this area. They did, in fact, succeed in never arguing in front of the children. But never arguing at all?

No, maybe possible for Mahatma Gandhi or Martin Luther King or some great soul, but I don't think any regular folks on the planet are that pure.
 
I agree with Jon lying ..... or about ready to snap .....
why does media insist on silly articles like this .... people / couples face various different situations that out of the next 100 couple they may not experience ..............but somehow reading on Hannah and Blair everything is JOLLY and fabulous....
If they never fought good for them but not even a human interest story IMO.
 

In some parts of Essex, couples who have never argued are said to be "Eating Dunmow ham". Read on................

The awarding of a flitch of bacon to married couples who can swear to not having regretted their marriage for a year and a day is an old tradition, the remnants of which still survive in some pockets in England. The tradition was maintained at Wychnoure until at least the eighteenth century, but now the flitch required to be held remains only as a carving over the fireplace. At Little Dunmow in Essex a similar ceremony also survived into the eighteenth century. The tradition can be traced back to at least the fourteenth century at both sites and the Dunmow flitch is referred to in Chaucer. The awarding of a flitch at both sites seems to have been an exceedingly rare event.

The Dunmow tradition was revived in Victorian times, largely inspired by a book (The Flitch of Bacon) by William Harrison Ainsworth. Flitch trials are still held in modern times at Great Dunmow. A counsel is employed to cross-examine the nominated couples and attempt to show they are undeserving of the award.
 
JonSR77 said:
They're lying! ...

No, maybe possible for Mahatma Gandhi or Martin Luther King or some great soul, but I don't think any regular folks on the planet are that pure.
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I suspect you are right about that! The lying.

Neither Mahatma Gandhi nor Martin Luther King lead anything like ideal personal lives. I do believe they were great men, and contributed much to our civilization. However they were not perfect, see for example:

Gandhi Is Deeply Revered, But His Attitudes On Race And Sex Are Under Scrutiny​

and

What Are We Supposed to Think of Martin Luther King Jr. Now?​

 
Hubby and I went on a Marriage Encounter weekend many years ago and the advice on arguing was "Do it, but hold hands while arguing". Sounds funny doesn't it but there is method to this madness,

First of all, bottling up resentments is not good for any relationship and if a couple never argues at all then one partner is not being heard.

Instead of letting fly at a bad time it is wise to sit down together and express feelings about issues without blaming your partner for those feelings. The idea is to allow them to understand how you feel, not feel guilty for your feelings.

Good communication is essential for any long term relationship.

Hubby and I will celebrate 60 years of marriage in 2023.
Arguments? We've had a few, but then again, too few to mention.
 
We’ve been married for nearly 30 years and you could count on one hand the number of times we’ve argued. Even the discussions didn’t involve yelling. It’s not that I don’t know how; you wouldn’t have wanted to get between my ex and me.

Basically, we just boring pacifists. Agree, it certainly wasn’t worth a news article.
 
JonSR77 said:
here's a clue. They're lying! They probably also bet their friends that they could spin a story so insane, that the media would grab hold of it.

My wife's parents were amazing in this area. They did, in fact, succeed in never arguing in front of the children. But never arguing at all?

No, maybe possible for Mahatma Gandhi or Martin Luther King or some great soul, but I don't think any regular folks on the planet are that pure.
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My parents took arguing to a whole new level and thrived on it you could say, though after my mother died one of my sisters tried telling my dad just how much arguing there was between them, "Did we" he stated, completely astonished at the news would you believe, and he hasn't been a silly person during the prime of his life at all, (though at no nety he was perhaps entitled to forget those things he didn't want to remember I'd say, so I'd suggest the couple being highlighted may be telling "the truth" to a similar extent!). :)
 
Warrigal said:
Hubby and I went on a Marriage Encounter weekend many years ago and the advice on arguing was "Do it, but hold hands while arguing". Sounds funny doesn't it but there is method to this madness,

First of all, bottling up resentments is not good for any relationship and if a couple never argues at all then one partner is not being heard.

Instead of letting fly at a bad time it is wise to sit down together and express feelings about issues without blaming your partner for those feelings. The idea is to allow them to understand how you feel, not feel guilty for your feelings.

Good communication is essential for any long term relationship.

Hubby and I will celebrate 60 years of marriage in 2023.
Arguments? We've had a few, but then again, too few to mention.
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absolutely wonderful! wishing you and your husband the very best!!
 
Oh, you know, I definitely believe in working hard on your relationship. I don't think they work without hard work on them. Maybe they would if we had easier circumstances?
 
After 30 years, my partner and I have figured out that our most severe arguments happen when I am driving. I'm a fast and aggressive driver and he hates that. So he usually drives when we are going somewhere together and I do word puzzles on my phone.

We've definitely had our arguments in the past, but I think we now know each other too well to push those buttons. We sometimes "debate" about certain topics but it never ends in an argument. I think longevity in a relationship teaches you which lines not to cross. ;)
 
dseag2 said:
After 30 years, my partner and I have figured out that our most severe arguments happen when I am driving. I'm a fast and aggressive driver and he hates that. So he usually drives when we are going somewhere together and I do word puzzles on my phone.

We've definitely had our arguments in the past, but I think we now know each other too well to push those buttons. We sometimes "debate" about certain topics but it never ends in an argument. I think longevity in a relationship teaches you which lines not to cross. ;)
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It's good you and your partner pay attention to not crossing lines. Not everyone does that. Some are just not too smart I figure. :D
 
Bonnie said:
30 years married and never an argument ?? ...oh, how boring!! 😁
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No one surely believes they never argued, just that is how the couple remember it, even if they fought like cat and dog the whole time, and to last so long, and raise 7 kids they must have had something more than the boring existence you're imagining, (same size of family as my constantly arguing parents, "so here's to argumentativeness"!!). :)
 
Either they are mistaken or they are bottling things up. When there is a disagreement it's much better to get things out in the open. Mind you, my husband and I rarely argued, but it was because he was one of those people who refuses to discuss anything.
 
JonSR77 said:
here's a clue. They're lying! They probably also bet their friends that they could spin a story so insane, that the media would grab hold of it.

My wife's parents were amazing in this area. They did, in fact, succeed in never arguing in front of the children. But never arguing at all?

No, maybe possible for Mahatma Gandhi or Martin Luther King or some great soul, but I don't think any regular folks on the planet are that pure.
Click to expand...
Or it could be that one is quiet, like my father was. My parents were married a long time. I don't think they ever argued. My father just didn't even talk that much. And my mother, who also wasn't the type, probably would have given in anyway if there was the first sign that an argument would be starting. It also could be that they didn't care enough to argue. I've read that arguments can actually be good for a marriage. Not saying your lying theory could be wrong.
 
My dad let Mum have her way in almost everything and very rarely "jacked up" in objection. On these occasions Mum instantly fell into line, not because she was afraid, (Dad was a gentle soul) but because women of her era saw men as authority figures. She was the same about the doctor, always a man in those days. Doctors were not to be questioned or defied.

I don't remember any arguing between them but communication was not very obvious either.
 
OneEyedDiva said:
Or it could be that one is quiet, like my father was. My parents were married a long time. I don't think they ever argued. My father just didn't even talk that much. And my mother, who also wasn't the type, probably would have given in anyway if there was the first sign that an argument would be starting. It also could be that they didn't care enough to argue. I've read that arguments can actually be good for a marriage. Not saying your lying theory could be wrong.
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Some farming cousins of mine, who have had a long and happy marriage, fifty years and counting, (the wife being my first cousin, and the argumentative one of the two she said), had this scenario playing out.

Joe, the husband who was no soft touch at all my father used to say, used to refuse to rise to my cousin trying to bait him into an argument, and this used to annoy her a great deal, (hence he won didn't he! :) ).
 
Warrigal said:
My dad let Mum have her way in almost everything and very rarely "jacked up" in objection. On these occasions Mum instantly fell into line, not because she was afraid, (Dad was a gentle soul) but because women of her era saw men as authority figures. She was the same about the doctor, always a man in those days. Doctors were not to be questioned or defied.

I don't remember any arguing between them but communication was not very obvious either.
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The male authority thing is how it was in our house. Dad made all the decisions and Mom lived with them. Like, she'd ask him "Do you think we can get a new washer?" And he'd say No, and that was it; she'd never mention it again. Then he'd get her one for Christmas or something.

My parents basically let each other just do what they wanted, but what Mom wanted to do was take care of Dad, and what Dad wanted to do was make Mom happy. It was all very conventional. And I've mentioned it before but in case you missed it, Mom was Jewish and Dad was Catholic. They never discussed religion, they just did their own things. She went to synagogue, he drank whiskey :p .
 
I've learned from arguments I've had in the past. And as I've gotten older, I no longer have a desire to engage in any of it. I deal with issues directly and with a calm approach.

My S/O and I have been together for a year now (we each have our own homes and he still works full-time so we don't typically see one another during the week) and we have had a few misunderstandings which never escalated to arguments. We talked things through, took some time apart to think and then came back having a deeper understanding of the other. I can't be with someone argumentative. It honestly makes me physically ill.
 
Oh for crying in the soup, we had some humdingers over the years! Our kids should have had a more realistic idea of marriage. However since he retired I usually ask myself if it is worth arguing about, but he usually expects me to agree with everything he says. So that is exasperating! In june we will celebrate 65 years of marriage, and we are still together and I haven't murdered him yet.
 

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