Volunteering

Bobw235

Bobw235

Senior Member
Location
Massachusetts
I started my training this afternoon to volunteer with a local hospice organization. They conduct four training sessions, then pair you up with a mentor for the first few visits before you go off on your own. I'll be very interested to see how this goes. My wife is joining me in this endeavor. Today we talked about the history of hospice, it's purpose, HIPAA regulations, and the various roles within the organization. Towards the end of the 2nd session today, we talked about the spiritual aspects of dying and what it means to us. A fascinating discussion within our small group.
 

Bob, what a volunteer choice! What made you decide on this particular organization? I think it takes a special individual to do this. It is much needed and they do wonderful work. My Mother-In-Law had hospice there in her final days and it was such a help for family members to understand the whole process.
 
maggiemae said:
Bob, what a volunteer choice! What made you decide on this particular organization? I think it takes a special individual to do this. It is much needed and they do wonderful work. My Mother-In-Law had hospice there in her final days and it was such a help for family members to understand the whole process.
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I was drawn to this after the experience with my late father-in-law, who passed away in late December. We moved him off a respirator, out of the ICU and into hospice care where he passed away peacefully the following morning. It was such a dramatic and welcome change from the ICU. Here he was in a private, quiet room surrounded by his daughters and sons in law. The four of us got to be with him in his final hours and say our goodbyes without the beeping of machines and nurses coming in every few minutes. It was such a relief for us as a family to know that he was being made comfortable, he wasn't in pain and that the end was near.

Seeing that made me decide that I wanted to help others with this important part of our journey here on earth. I think I'll find it very meaningful.
 

I really admire you for doing that, Bob. Don't think I could do it. Each case is probably different, but I'd probably find it difficult to follow the rules sometimes.
 
That is a wonderful, compassionate service for the seriously ill. What type of role would you be filling? They do a lot of good work, even with the survivor's grief. I attended a grief support run by hospice after my husband passed, I found it quite helpful. I'm not sure of it's history and how it was founded but it is a Godsend to the many people that use it. When things begin getting rough, families need all the help and support they can get. Wishing you and the Mrs. the best in your new work.
 
Carla said:
That is a wonderful, compassionate service for the seriously ill. What type of role would you be filling? They do a lot of good work, even with the survivor's grief. I attended a grief support run by hospice after my husband passed, I found it quite helpful. I'm not sure of it's history and how it was founded but it is a Godsend to the many people that use it. When things begin getting rough, families need all the help and support they can get. Wishing you and the Mrs. the best in your new work.
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It's probably too early to say exactly what I'll be doing, but it's likely that I'll be working with patients and families. I've also indicated that I would be fine doing some administrative/data-oriented work. The organization I'm joining has been around for some time and has over 40 volunteers right now. They're hoping to be over 100 by this time next year. If I'm working with patients and their families, it will just be to visit with them and do what I can to help them on their journey. There will be no patient care in terms of administering medications or helping move or clean them. They made that clear today. We're there to listen, to talk when the patient wants to talk, to convey their needs to others in the organization, etc. Should be interesting work. I'm glad my wife is doing this with me. This way we can help support one another, even though we wouldn't have the same cases.
 
SeaBreeze said:
Kudos to you and your wife Bob, very kind and giving of you both.
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Thanks SB. We're in a position to give back and have wanted to do something meaningful now that we're in retirement. We can't travel right now given her physical issues (nerve pain in the leg), so this is a good way for us to try to help others in the next stage of our lives. As a side benefit, we'll meet other volunteers and maybe make some new friends.
 
Bobw235 said:
It's probably too early to say exactly what I'll be doing, but it's likely that I'll be working with patients and families. I've also indicated that I would be fine doing some administrative/data-oriented work. The organization I'm joining has been around for some time and has over 40 volunteers right now. They're hoping to be over 100 by this time next year. If I'm working with patients and their families, it will just be to visit with them and do what I can to help them on their journey. There will be no patient care in terms of administering medications or helping move or clean them. They made that clear today. We're there to listen, to talk when the patient wants to talk, to convey their needs to others in the organization, etc. Should be interesting work. I'm glad my wife is doing this with me. This way we can help support one another, even though we wouldn't have the same cases.
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Sometimes just a smile can touch the soul.
 
Kudos Bob.
I've not had the benefit of a volunteer during the dying of my three old ladies but the kindness and sensitivity of the staff at the nursing homes was a precious gift.
 
As a part of my training, there was required reading of a book entitled "Final Gifts". Here's a brief description from the publisher:

In this moving and compassionate classic—now updated with new material from the authors—hospice nurses Maggie Callanan and Patricia Kelley share their intimate experiences with patients at the end of life, drawn from more than twenty years’ experience tending the terminally ill.

Through their stories we come to appreciate the near-miraculous ways in which the dying communicate their needs, reveal their feelings, and even choreograph their own final moments; we also discover the gifts—of wisdom, faith, and love—that the dying leave for the living to share.

Filled with practical advice on responding to the requests of the dying and helping them prepare emotionally and spiritually for death, Final Gifts shows how we can help the dying person live fully to the very end.
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I'm finding the book fascinating as I make my way through it. The stories have given me plenty to think about as I approach my later years, not to mention how I'll be interacting with those facing their own death. Far from being depressing, it's more hopeful and comforting.
 
Redd said:
Two Thumbs Up Bob, one for you, one for your wife. It takes a special person to do what you do.
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Thanks Redd. I won't know the true impact of this experience for a few months, but where possible, I'll chronicle my thoughts and emotions and share them here. While I'll not be able to write about any specific cases that I'm assigned to, I think it may be helpful to others to hear about the experience of this kind of endeavor.
 
Bobw235 said:
Thanks Redd. I won't know the true impact of this experience for a few months, but where possible, I'll chronicle my thoughts and emotions and share them here. While I'll not be able to write about any specific cases that I'm assigned to, I think it may be helpful to others to hear about the experience of this kind of endeavor.
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I think that's wonderful Bob. It's not something just anyone can do. I admire your purposefulness.
 
Good health and strength, Bob. It's hard but rewarding. When I joined the hospice, the more experienced volunteer told me: "no matter how much you'll give to the dying person, you'll still get more". I did not understand then, but now I do. But one must experienced it oneself to understand. I still work for the hospice, but do not look after the ill because of my spine problems.
 
<<<HUGS>>> That's wonderful Bob, my sister in law was a hospice nurse for many years. It takes someone special to volunteer for such a needed position.
 
Vedaarya said:
Good health and strength, Bob. It's hard but rewarding. When I joined the hospice, the more experienced volunteer told me: "no matter how much you'll give to the dying person, you'll still get more". I did not understand then, but now I do. But one must experienced it oneself to understand. I still work for the hospice, but do not look after the ill because of my spine problems.
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Good to know there's someone here who will be able to relate to what I may experience. Your sentiment of getting more back was one that our volunteer coordinator echoed at our last training session. I'm looking forward to it.
 
Thought I'd re-visit this thread to give you an update. My training has been completed and I'm awaiting my first assigned patient. I was to have had one by now, but he passed away before my first visit, sooner than had been predicted. So instead, I've contributed by producing a monthly newsletter (a first for the organization) and by visiting an Alzheimer's patient assigned to my wife.

Yesterday we had a wonderful visit with her patient, who was delighted to see us. It was such a wonderful experience to be able to bring a smile to this elderly woman's face. She talked about folks in the pictures around her room, my wife read her a story about horses (she seemed to love it) and I showed her several photos of landscapes that I've taken (brought my iPad). Where normally she's been very quiet in past visits, yesterday she talked quite a bit. Very rewarding to bring some joy into her life, if only for the hour we were there. I told her that I'd bring her a photo for her room the next time we visit, something to bring some color. Her eyes lit up when I offered that.

I'm sure that there will be harder visits ahead, but at least this one good. We had a meeting with the volunteers a few weeks ago and one woman had just lost her patient after two visits. The family took her aside and told her how much they appreciated the comfort she brought to their relative before he passed, even asking her to come to a planned memorial service they're having in the Spring.

I think I'm going to really get something meaningful from this work. I'll keep you posted.
 
It's wonderful that you and your wife are able to do this together. Your life will be truly enriched by this type of volunteering.
 
Well done BOB. I was an AIDS buddy for a few years, and stayed with the friend right to the end. I had four over the time I was involved . Very humbling and very tough sometimes.
 
Re-visiting this thread since I've been away for a bit. I've had two patients thus far, one of whom passed away after I'd visited him six times over a few weeks. The one I'm visiting now will likely be gone (liver failure) by the time of my next scheduled visit on Wednesday. I've been seeing him twice a week for the past month, but he's gone downhill rapidly. His wife was there today, so I kept her company while she held his hand. Played some music for them (I'd made a playlist for him on my iPad). She seemed grateful for the company. The poor woman looked so sad and tired. I came away from the visit feeling reflective and also sad, but glad if I brought some comfort to her at this difficult time.

My wife is continuing to do this too, and just lost her patient the other day. We went to his wake. She was very fond of him and his passing made her cry.

The hospice volunteer experience is not for everyone, but I'm feeling like I can make a positive difference in the last days of someone's life.
 
Bobw235 said:
I started my training this afternoon to volunteer with a local hospice organization. They conduct four training sessions, then pair you up with a mentor for the first few visits before you go off on your own. I'll be very interested to see how this goes. My wife is joining me in this endeavor. Today we talked about the history of hospice, it's purpose, HIPAA regulations, and the various roles within the organization. Towards the end of the 2nd session today, we talked about the spiritual aspects of dying and what it means to us. A fascinating discussion within our small group.
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You are such a special person doing this, it truly takes a special person. I worked in health care for 30 years and couldn't do it.
 
Its sounds as if you will be a great volunteer, for them. Kudos to you. I had a grandson die, 2 yrs ago, this month, and a couple of the exp from hospice were not good. I'm thinking some don't have enough training..Bless you, for helping those in need.
 
Harley said:
Its sounds as if you will be a great volunteer, for them. Kudos to you. I had a grandson die, 2 yrs ago, this month, and a couple of the exp from hospice were not good. I'm thinking some don't have enough training..Bless you, for helping those in need.
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We received 14 hours (four sessions) of initial training, plus another 8 hours of dementia-specific training to deal with Alzheimer's patients. We were fortunate to have had a very devoted and committed volunteer coordinator. She was great. That training is also supplemented by monthly meetings where there is typically a training component. As a volunteer I'm not expected to provide any medical care; I am just there to keep someone company, talk if they want to, comfort them, etc. Our organization is non-profit, but there are plenty of for profit hospice services out there. From what I've seen, we have a pretty good group of nurses, social workers and volunteers. Some have more then 15 years of service. I'm sorry for your loss, and that your experience with hospice wasn't as beneficial as it should have been.
 

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