Weird visit this afternoon

dusty

dusty

Senior Member
Today i was home and there was a knock and I let the gal in. She lives here and I have talked to her in the hall before. She sat down and we talked, and there was no reason for her visit. She just talked about random stuff but soon I noticed she was mentioning people I knew as a kid, what house I lived in, where she lived as a kid schools attended and other people we have common, and I listened very closely. Even though she grew up 30 miles away she knew all these things, plus she is 6 yrs younger.

She also said her father was at Pearl Harbor in 1941 on the Arizona as mine was, she said she had the same birthday as me (she set it up like it was amazing) and other things in common. She was in control of the conversation.

Then she started to ask about my son, what was his illness ect. By now I knew she was playing me so I answered vaguely or I made up some small things. I don't know this woman except for casual hellos in the hallway...what did she want from me today?


Anybody??
 

IDK what she wanted. I'd be looking for her on social media, googling her, etc. This is just too strange to let it ride. I'd also google myself and try to ascertain where she got her information about me.

And if I could afford it, I'd hire a private investigator. If things turned out to be hinky, I'd get a temporary restraining order. This is just too weird!

Or maybe I'd confront her very assertively before paying an investigator.
 
That's strange and would make me uncomfortable. I am very direct, and when she started mentioning people and l places you have in common, that's when I would have asked how she knew all this and where is she going with this. If that disturbed her, and she didn't give the right aswer, the visit would end (abruptly).
 

I don't know what she wanted, Dusty, but something's not right there... she was after information and for me personally, the "freak out flag" would have gone up after she asked about your son. Keep us informed if you find out what was going on. I would not like anyone knowing that much about me... if it was true. It almost sounds like the growing up location and birthday were one of those ploys to make someone put their guard down maybe?
 
MACKTEXAS said:
That's strange and would make me uncomfortable. I am very direct, and when she started mentioning people and l places you have in common, that's when I would have asked how she knew all this and where is she going with this. If that disturbed her, and she didn't give the right aswer, the visit would end (abruptly).
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Yeah, but that's not as much fun as playing Nancy Drew.
 
She also told me that her job when she worked was that she was the Head of Forensics in New York State which involved missing persons and cold cases. That sounded weird to me but she said it a couple of times. She also told me the apt number she has here so I am going to check that out tomorrow. I feel spied on but don't know why.
 
I actually wouls speak to the police... because she knew so much about your childhoood, that she couldn't possibly have known without stalking you to gain information about your background and goodness knows what else she knows that she hasn't told you..

I would definitely call the police on the non emergency number and tell them you're unnerved, ..tell them all you've told us, and how you're concerned at how she could possibly know this stuff.. and you wonder why she's made it obvious to you that she knows all this about you.. and living so close to her you're worried about her intentions...

Just a thought...do you think she might be stealing your identity, for her or someone else ?
 
Holly----I hadn't thought about the identity thing. One other thing she mentioned was about my art on the walls and how she was an artist. When I mentioned that not all were mine she didn't seem to have interest. She also said that she had a 50 yr old son who was an artist. My son (the one with emotional problems) is 49 and in his younger years he was a very good artist but has quit now.

She also thought a Carol Grieg watercolor on the wall was something I had done. It's signed, for Pete's sake!
 
dusty said:
Holly----I hadn't thought about the identity thing. One other thing she mentioned was about my art on the walls and how she was an artist. When I mentioned that not all were mine she didn't seem to have interest. She also said that she had a 50 yr old son who was an artist. My son (the one with emotional problems) is 49 and in his younger years he was a very good artist but has quit now.

She also thought a Carol Grieg watercolor on the wall was something I had done. It's signed, for Pete's sake!
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That's even more of a clue to me anyway... as soon as she realised you weren't the artist, she lost interest, because if she is out to steal your identity or already is, she 'll be trying to find out everything about you.. and when she discovered you're not the artist that would not be useful to her then hence the lack of immediate interest....
 
dusty said:
She also told me that her job when she worked was that she was the Head of Forensics in New York State which involved missing persons and cold cases. That sounded weird to me but she said it a couple of times. She also told me the apt number she has here so I am going to check that out tomorrow. I feel spied on but don't know why.
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That sounds odd to me too. What was her first name? I'm researching heads of forensics in NY, past and present.
 
That would feel unsettling to me too. It sounds like she was gathering a lot of personal information while also trying to build a sense of “connection” with you. Sometimes people do this because they’re lonely, but sometimes as mentioned, it’s because they’re looking for details they can use (identity theft, scams, etc.).

You did exactly the right thing by keeping your answers vague. I’d recommend not letting her into your apartment again unless you feel comfortable, and keeping your personal details private. If she shows up again or asks probing questions, you can politely say you’re busy or that you don’t feel like talking.

If anything she said feels threatening or off, you can also mention it to the building management or front desk staff so they’re aware. Trust your instincts. If something feels wrong, it probably is.
 
If she lives in your apartment, is her name on her apartment door or mailbox? My SIL's apartment has the name on the interior hallway door of the complex.

@hollydolly, has a good idea that you should contact your local police. If you didn't want them to come to your apartment, meet them down the road or go to the department.

They may not take an actual report, but each call they are given they will be a dispatch or reference number (each PD may call it by another name) that they can give to you. If they don't take a report, they will make a short log entry about what the call was about. Just keep that number for reference in case you would have the need to call back again & the next officer can reference the prior call if he needs to. Basically, each time you have contact with an officer over this keep these numbers to show how much you have reported the issue.

@Naturally, also has a good idea of talking to your apartment management. They may be able to tell you a little about her as in she goes around & talks to other people like this too. Just let them know it has you worried because you really don't know this women & she was getting personal.

Here is one thing everybody can do here in the US, not sure about Europe, but you can freeze your credit with the three major credit bureaus. It can keep people from opening up loans or credit cards or other financial accounts with your name. It's not that difficult to do.

Also, at least my county in Ohio, you can protect your house deed by contacting your County Recorder office & sign up to be alerted if anyone is trying to change your property out of your name into another name.
 
I think calling the non-emergency police number is the way to go as @hollydolly said, just to be on the safe side. And I would never let her into your home again and make up excuses if she is pushy and wants to get together again. Also, are you close to any of your neighbors, can you talk to them about her and see what they have to say. Although I had agreed with @Nathan about facing her down, I think I disagree now in case this woman is looney-tunes or wants to harm you.
 
In the morning I am calling the non emergency number for the police and see what I can learn and ask them some things. My manager will not disclose any info on any tenents at all. I don't know anyone in here well and really don't want to, asking about her might tip her off. As far as her getting in my place again----NO way. Never!

I have racked my brain all evening and cannot figure out what she would want from me. She knew things about me no one here knows. I learned to keep my business to myself long ago.

I will hopefully get somewhere tomorrow.
 

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