Welcome To Coffee Corner

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From Jerry Seinfeld's new book, "Is This Anything?"

We need coffee.
You ever hear anybody say, "I need some tea"?
No.
Coffee's made from dirt.
Grounds.
You can feel the anger when it's inside the coffee machine.
Bubbling and hissing in there like a little volcano.
You look inside and things are spitting out everywhere.

You take one sip and the coffee's like "That's it".
I'm running this outfit now.
I want constant talking. Endless peeing.
Large intestine, I want all of that out, right now.

Things are going to be different from now on.
You think I fought my way out of an African Jungle,
stowed away on the bottom of a rusted-out trawler
in a burlap bag to sit in a recycled paper cup
with a spoon up my arse?

You know what the tattoo on my arm says?
"Not Tea".
:ROFLMAO:
 
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