What are you doing today?

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@Blessed In January it'll be 14 years since DH died. We were supposed to grow old together. He'll never age beyond 70, and I'm growing old alone. It wasn't supposed to be like this:(

I understand.

Today it's 19 years since DS2 died. It was hard to keep putting one foot in front of the other, but after a while, it got easier to bear. I've said before that to me he'll always be young and strong and handsome. He'll never age beyond 41, and that's the way I'll always remember him.
 

Georgiagranny said:
@Blessed In January it'll be 14 years since DH died. We were supposed to grow old together. He'll never age beyond 70, and I'm growing old alone. It wasn't supposed to be like this:(

I understand.

Today it's 19 years since DS2 died. It was hard to keep putting one foot in front of the other, but after a while, it got easier to bear. I've said before that to me he'll always be young and strong and handsome. He'll never age beyond 41, and that's the way I'll always remember him.
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He passed at 51. and yes we never thought we would have to do this alone but here we are. You are carrying a depth of greif that I could not bear. To lose your dear son and then your husband. I still have not recovered from my husband's death after 12 years. If something happened to our son I would die. I know this because my MIL died 8 days after my husband.

You are a very brave, strong woman. You are out there working, being involved with the family. I have become a recluse, I don't want to be a bother to family. I can't pretend I am happy, that I am fine because that is not the case. If they say I have gone crazy, then yes I have. I do the best I can!
 
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Pepper said:
I was just on my exercise bike for 20 minutes. No, I'm not bragging. It's an old bike, from the nineties and makes a bit of noise. So, afterwards, guess who was timidly knocking and ringing my bell for almost 10 minutes while I ignored it?
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That must be frustrating. It isn't fun to be in hostilities with others just over normal life activities. I'm still waiting to get the condo rules for the apartment I'm buying, I hope they don't have any crazy rules about when people can exercise. The realtor said there is a lot of concrete between floors so she thinks the sound proofing will be excellent.
When I was young I was renting an apartment on a second floor and I got a rower exercise machine. I was all enthused about getting up early and doing rowing in the morning. My parade was rapidly rained on by the people below me thumping on their ceiling when I exercised. I moved the rower out of my bedroom to the living room and they didn't thump about it then.
Maybe you could suggest to your downstairs neighbor to buy some sound absorbing floor foam squares for you to use under your bike.
 

Blessed said:
He passed at 51. and yes we never thought we would have to do this alone but here we are. You are carrying a depth of greif that I could not bear. To lose your dear son and then your husband. I still have not recovered from my husband's death after 12 years. If something happened to our son I would die. I know this because my MIL died 8 days after my husband.

You are a very brave, strong woman. You are out there working, being involved with the family. I have become a recluse, I don't want to be a bother to family. I can't pretend I am happy, that I am fine because that is not the case. If they say I have gone crazy, then yes I have. I do the best I can!
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See edit, my son did not pass, only my husband
 
So had a couple bad dizzy spells, went to instant care which is what you do if you are on blood thinners. Really nice Doctor, did blood tests to make sure I didn’t have any bleeding, I didn’t. Said I would have to go to ER if I had any more because I didn’t look well. 😂.

I asked him about a CT lung scan. He said he was sure I had a PE, and agreed with the ER doctor that I didn’t need a scan because they could not do anything else other than the blood thinners. So, that’s settled at least.

Tomorrow the oral surgeon. 😳
 
Aneeda72 said:
So had a couple bad dizzy spells, went to instant care which is what you do if you are on blood thinners. Really nice Doctor, did blood tests to make sure I didn’t have any bleeding, I didn’t. Said I would have to go to ER if I had any more because I didn’t look well. 😂.

I asked him about a CT lung scan. He said he was sure I had a PE, and agreed with the ER doctor that I didn’t need a scan because they could not do anything else other than the blood thinners. So, that’s settled at least.

Tomorrow the oral surgeon. 😳
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Okay, he said he was sure you had a PE, or that you did not. If they thought you DID have a PE they should have called an ambulance for the hospital. You don't guess at that point. That is life threating, you do not take a chance. The reason I know this is because my husband had one and collapsed. I had to do CPR, he started to breathe, but it was a very dire situation. I know you do not have someone there to do that so if you have chest pains or can't breathe please call 911. DO NOT TAKE A CHANCE. GET HELP!!
 
@squatting dog Seeing is believing! Mrs. S. Dog has the patience of a saint. Well, seeing as how it's "her" car...

Then there was the time DS1 rebuilt a VW engine on a stand in his bedroom. That's all I'm gonna say about that.

And then there was the time I rebuilt a carburetor for my 1976 Plymouth Fury...on the living room floor. House smelled like gasoline for weeks. Meanwhile, I had to take the car to my friendly neighborhood mechanic so that he could rebuild it right. Rebuild kit I used was about $10. Getting it rebuilt right by mechanic was around $75, a lot of money in those days.

Those words you said you used? Those are the same ones I used.
 
HoneyNut said:
Maybe you could suggest to your downstairs neighbor to buy some sound absorbing floor foam squares for you to use under your bike.
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As of the present, there will be no contact, I will not engage. She just moved in. 2 Weeks I believe. Has been at my door 3 times, each time knocking louder & louder & longer & longer. I have lived here since my 4th birthday. I do not respect this person and if I engage with such a personality, it will show.
 
Blessed said:
Okay, he said he was sure you had a PE, or that you did not. If they thought you DID have a PE they should have called an ambulance for the hospital. You don't guess at that point. That is life threating, you do not take a chance. The reason I know this is because my husband had one and collapsed. I had to do CPR, he started to breathe, but it was a very dire situation. I know you do not have someone there to do that so if you have chest pains or can't breathe please call 911. DO NOT TAKE A CHANCE. GET HELP!!
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Thanks, but as you know the treatment for a PE is blood thinners and I am on them. The blood thinners break up the PEs and the DVTs. I refused hospitalization the first night I was diagnosed. (Because of the occasional chest pain and breathing issues it seems it’s a PE. Plus because of the DVTs. Both doctors assume there is a PE.)

My husband had several PEs, a decade ago. He was hospitalized for 7 days because he was on warfarin. That blood thinner requires close supervision but I am on Eliquis. (I refused warfarin). He had to stay on warfarin for a year. If he gets another PE, he will be on warfarin for life. Warfarin is the go to drug for DVTs, but I was on it for AFIB and it made my eyes bleed-so nope.

My blood clots were provoked because of the surgery so they fit a different regiment. Because of my dizziness and since the blood tests showed I wasn’t bleeding in my “gut”; he was worried about a brain bleed, a stroke, or TIA , due to my history. (It wasn’t a brain bleed, I’ve had one before. The headache is insane. I also have a history of stroke and TIA.). If I pass out, I need to go to the ER. Gee, you think? 😂 Or if I get more severe dizziness. 🥺

But I need to get my tooth fixed. 🙄
Georgiagranny said:
@Aneeda72 Geez! And I feel sorry for myself because it feels like I live my life according to the calendar🗓️ and the clock🕰️ Calendar for doc appointments and clock for meds!
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I think most of us oldies feel this way.
 
Pepper said:
As of the present, there will be no contact, I will not engage. She just moved in. 2 Weeks I believe. Has been at my door 3 times, each time knocking louder & louder & longer & longer. I have lived here since my 4th birthday. I do not respect this person and if I engage with such a personality, it will show.
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Yup, apparently when I engage i have a similar issue 😂
 
Aneeda72 said:
Thanks, but as you know the treatment for a PE is blood thinners and I am on them. The blood thinners break up the PEs and the DVTs. I refused hospitalization the first night I was diagnosed. (Because of the occasional chest pain and breathing issues it seems it’s a PE. Plus because of the DVTs. Both doctors assume there is a PE.)

My husband had several PEs, a decade ago. He was hospitalized for 7 days because he was on warfarin. That blood thinner requires close supervision but I am on Eliquis. (I refused warfarin). He had to stay on warfarin for a year. If he gets another PE, he will be on warfarin for life. Warfarin is the go to drug for DVTs, but I was on it for AFIB and it made my eyes bleed-so nope.

My blood clots were provoked because of the surgery so they fit a different regiment. Because of my dizziness and since the blood tests showed I wasn’t bleeding in my “gut”; he was worried about a brain bleed, a stroke, or TIA , due to my history. (It wasn’t a brain bleed, I’ve had one before. The headache is insane. I also have a history of stroke and TIA.). If I pass out, I need to go to the ER. Gee, you think? 😂 Or if I get more severe dizziness. 🥺
I understand where you are at. When my husband had his it was bad. He went to the hospital and was kept days on wa
But I need to get my tooth fixed. 🙄

I think most of us oldies feel this way.
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I understand where you are at, when my husband had the PE, he passed out and fell to our kitchen floor. I called 911, he was not breathing so I did CPR, I had not had training in many years but he did start breathing. He got to the hospital and they found the problem, the PE. Mind you, his underlying condition was a rare cancer, we had been thru all types of chemo and clinical trials. It was discovered the day he was to come home that he had a brain bleed. He was acting nuts to me, but he could answer all their questions. They finally agreed to check and there it was. Must have been very small when he hit the tile floor but got worse as time passed. Next stop, a bigger hospital that could do the brain surgery for the bleed.

There was not warning, he was not feeling sick or dizzy at the time. It just happened, no warning at all something was wrong. I guess that is why I am worried about you. So many things you have gone through, so many things you have suffered, you might miss something you feel and just see it as another thing to endure. That is why I say if you feel really bad and you are not sure, you need to be checked out.
 
Blessed said:
I understand where you are at, when my husband had the PE, he passed out and fell to our kitchen floor. I called 911, he was not breathing so I did CPR, I had not had training in many years but he did start breathing. He got to the hospital and they found the problem, the PE. Mind you, his underlying condition was a rare cancer, we had been thru all types of chemo and clinical trials. It was discovered the day he was to come home that he had a brain bleed. He was acting nuts to me, but he could answer all their questions. They finally agreed to check and there it was. Must have been very small when he hit the tile floor but got worse as time passed. Next stop, a bigger hospital that could do the brain surgery for the bleed.

There was not warning, he was not feeling sick or dizzy at the time. It just happened, no warning at all something was wrong. I guess that is why I am worried about you. So many things you have gone through, so many things you have suffered, you might miss something you feel and just see it as another thing to endure. That is why I say if you feel really bad and you are not sure, you need to be checked out.
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Thanks so much for your concern.

My husbands PEs started at work. He had chest pain and went and sat in his car. His friend noticed him gone, found him in his car, and called our son who took him to the hospital. Doctors said he had too many PEs for them to count. 😳

Did your husband hit his head when he fell and get the bleed from that? Then the blood thinners for the PE would have made it worst, I am sure. Glad the brain surgery stopped it but what an experience for you. He was so fortunate you we’re there when it happened. CPR is no easy thing to do.

My aneurysm leaked. I had the headache from hell, it hurt to “see” and ”hear”. It was a small bleed and stopped on its own, but I had a bad headache for weeks. I refused a spinal tap and hospitalization. In retrospect, it was a mistake to do so. Again son took me to the hospital, he’s our go to guy. 😊. But I learned. Dizzy spells?-see a doctor.

But if I can walk and talk, no hospitalization. I hate being in the hospital
 
Aneeda72 said:
Thanks so much for your concern.

My husbands PEs started at work. He had chest pain and went and sat in his car. His friend noticed him gone, found him in his car, and called our son who took him to the hospital. Doctors said he had too many PEs for them to count. 😳

Did your husband hit his head when he fell and get the bleed from that? Then the blood thinners for the PE would have made it worst, I am sure. Glad the brain surgery stopped it but what an experience for you. He was so fortunate you we’re there when it happened. CPR is no easy thing to do.

My aneurysm leaked. I had the headache from hell, it hurt to “see” and ”hear”. It was a small bleed and stopped on its own, but I had a bad headache for weeks. I refused a spinal tap and hospitalization. In retrospect, it was a mistake to do so. Again son took me to the hospital, he’s our go to guy. 😊. But I learned. Dizzy spells?-see a doctor.

But if I can walk and talk, no hospitalization. I hate being in the hospital
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Y
 
Yes the brain bleed started from the fall. He got to the hospital there were no signs of it,they did a scan everyday, I reviewed the records. it was the day he was supposed to come home. He called me about 5 in the morning and asked when I was coming to get him. I got there and he was wierd, asking crazy questions, is this our home? He went out of the room, our house is really big, I where are you going, to BIL room, I honey he is not here. Still he was able to answer every question the doctor asked.

I told the doctor something is wrong, I don''t care that he can answer your questions, they took him down, ran the scans and there it was, the bleed. They sent him up to ICU. They said, because he had a incurable cancer I should not do anything.

After talking to the family they convinced me to have him transferred to a hospital where a neurosurgeon could operate on the bleed. I did get him home for a few weeks after surgery. Now I see that was the wrong decision.I made him suffer for about 12 weeks until he passed. I just could not let him go, I had to do, try anything to keep him but the truth, I see now I just made the suffering worse, I prolonged everything because of me,, he is the one who had to go through the nightmare, it still haunts me.
What I did was about me and our son, I had no idea how much he would suffer by my decision. I pray I will never be in that position again.

I think that is why I am so destroyed, messed up 12 years later, I just can't let go of what I did for selfish reasons.

That is why I say dont wait, if you feel ill, see a doctor, call an ambulance, don't take a chance. Take care of yourself. We had help right away, it can still go wrong.
 
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