What Convoluted Logic Sayings Have You Heard?

[hauntedtexan]

Here's a couple to start things off:

Monday should be the best day of the week since none of them get any worse.

When in snows in Texas, this is the thought of many: If I drive faster, I can get home before I have an accident....

Y'all's turn now

 

[jujube]

Just about anything I heard from my mother when I was a child:

If you fall off that swing set and break your neck, don't come running to me.

If you touch that stove and burn your hands clean off, don't expect me to kiss them and make them better.

How can you look at me after what you've done? Look at me while I'm talking to you, young lady!

And what do you have to say for yourself? Don't you dare open your mouth!

 

[Pappy]

The clean underwear one always made me chuckle.
If im in an accident, they are not going to be clean.

 

[Buckeye]

Just about anything I heard from my mother when I was a child:

If you fall off that swing set and break your neck, don't come running to me.

If you touch that stove and burn your hands clean off, don't expect me to kiss them and make them better.

How can you look at me after what you've done? Look at me while I'm talking to you, young lady!

And what do you have to say for yourself? Don't you dare open your mouth!

lol - I think I'd like your mother.

 

[Sunny]

Why does it always turn up in the last place we look?

 

[hauntedtexan]

I'm from the government, and I'm here to help...

 

[jujube]

How about oxymorons, do those count?

Postal service
Military intelligence
Plastic silverware
Adult children