What did you do that put on the naughty list?

My first big caper was truancy. In HS, had a post homeroom job in the Attendance office. I had been present for the Attendance Report, the one kept by the school. At the job I had the lists of all my classes & teachers who would get a copy of the report. I then signed myself absent. The teachers didn't care. If I had let the record stand I could be accused of cutting. Then they would care. This went on till Senior Year, so 3 years.
 

We were caught once with a bag of oranges coming back into the U.S. from Canada. Now, mind you, the oranges were purchased in the U.S. and taken across the border into Canada, but trying to bring them back into the U.S. was a BIG NO-NO!

We had to sit on the Group W bench for a half hour with all the people who had other contraband listening to a lecture of what could and could not be brought into the U.S. Apparently oranges were up there with guns, drugs and explosives.

The funny thing is that when we unloaded the camper back in Seattle, the oranges were still in the refrigerator. Go figure. All that and they left the oranges.

That's my naughty list story and I'm sticking to it....
 
Well, this brought back a chuckle.
In 1st grade, there was a bully in class. He was bigger than all the kids & picked on everyone - verbally and physically. His name was "Jimmy."
After several weeks of being shoved & taunted, I told the kids in my class that I was going to get him.
I also hated the teacher; she was big & mean.
One day, she passed out clay to all of us & told us to "make something." I rolled a chunk of clay into a round ball. While she was writing on the blackboard, I stood up & threw it at her as hard as I could. It hit her on the largest part of her - her butt. And from the noise it made, it must have hurt.
She whipped around & yelled, "Who threw that?"
I said, "Jimmy did it...I saw him." (Jimmy couldn't see that I did it because he sat a few rows in front of me).
She stomped over to Jimmy, grabbed him by the arm, yanked him out of his chair & dragged him to the office while he was crying & saying "I didn't do it."
Oh, what a wonderful feeling...........like a double-scoop ice cream cone - 2 for 1.
 
I'm afraid that not much has changed over the years. ;)

brutal_honesty_973325.jpg
 
In 9th grade, I learned to forge my Spanish teacher's name. So I wrote passes for my friends to get out of class. Got caught after a few weeks. Did not get suspended.

In high school, the football coach was determined to catch my friends and me skipping class. We had to walk down a long residential road that ended at the drugstore that sold milkshakes. He never caught us because he was driving and we were walking through backyards. I guess he thought he had to catch us in the act.

Also in high school, this is after having a bad rep for skipping class, I asked the principal if my friends and I could go watch the state legislature debate the Equal Rights Amendment. He said yes, to my total amazement. We went, got bored and disgusted. So I suggest we fly kites at a state park for a few days. Got caught, but not until we returned to school. Got suspended.

In college, I was the editor of the newspaper. I wrote an editorial suggesting that it would be a great idea if college students had roommates that were of the opposite sex (not everyone, just those who wanted to -- the roommates would be platonic). The Dean said no more editorials like that or you will be expelled. I said this is an important issue and relates to college students, so what's the problem. Not ladylike.

The next editorial I wrote was about how prostitution should be legalized. The Dean said you are skating on thin ice, you will be expelled if you do it again. I just smiled at him. I never got expelled.

I did quit being so controversial, just to be on the safe side, because my next idea was to write an article profiling the dean. I thought he was terribly behind the times, and I still think so.
 
Well, this brought back a chuckle.
In 1st grade, there was a bully in class. He was bigger than all the kids & picked on everyone - verbally and physically. His name was "Jimmy."
After several weeks of being shoved & taunted, I told the kids in my class that I was going to get him.
I also hated the teacher; she was big & mean.
One day, she passed out clay to all of us & told us to "make something." I rolled a chunk of clay into a round ball. While she was writing on the blackboard, I stood up & threw it at her as hard as I could. It hit her on the largest part of her - her butt. And from the noise it made, it must have hurt.
She whipped around & yelled, "Who threw that?"
I said, "Jimmy did it...I saw him." (Jimmy couldn't see that I did it because he sat a few rows in front of me).
She stomped over to Jimmy, grabbed him by the arm, yanked him out of his chair & dragged him to the office while he was crying & saying "I didn't do it."
Oh, what a wonderful feeling...........like a double-scoop ice cream cone - 2 for 1.
How to bring a bully down. There was two such boys at my school, always fighting and bullying. At school our team sport was Rugby football, it can be a brutal sport, but I took to it and when I got the chance I tackled one of those bullies on the field. The groan he let out as we crashed to the ground was most satisfying, but not as satisfying as his comeuppance a day or two later.

There is a chocolate that's made to help when you are constipated, it's a laxative chocolate called, "Ex-Lax." I bought a bar of Ex-Lax and slid the wrapper off, replacing it with a Cadbury wrapper. That bully saw the bar of Cadburys in my bag. "You owe me that," he said, as he snatched the chocolate bar. He greedily scoffed the lot in front of me, silly boy. Had he looked at the chocolate he would have seen Ex-Lax imprinted on every square. He spent the day being excused from class because, "he just had to go."

Later I found out that Ex-lax is so strong that two squares is really all you need, that explained why he kept asking to be excused. He probably didn't relent on his bullying manner but he did leave me alone.

Something that got me on the naughty list was to repeat something my wife said, only I said it to a group of ladies and a couple of them took umbrage. My wife named our old MG, Jessica. When I asked her, "why Jessica?" She replied, "well, like her namesake, she's a redhead, and she's got a great body." She then added, and this is what got me into hot water, "and she's got a cracking pair of hooters!" So now when I'm asked, "why Jessica?" I simply say that it was my wife's choice. Not going there again.
 
I get a buzz out of winking at the checkout girls in supermarkets, their reactions are mixed, I've never had a slap but some of their smiles are lovely.
They are probably thinking, "Give the soft old sausage a smile and make his day." :)
 
and along Timoc's theme, I am the one that will wink back at any old dude young or old winking at me.....not supposed to do that according to the "Me too" movement.....it just encourages them ;)
I'm not winking at you, Lee, I've got something in my eye.....honestly. ;););)
 

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