What do men talk about to each other?

R

Rose65

Well-known Member
Location
United Kingdom
My husband can spend hours at a bar with a male friend, get merry and consider it a good time. This is only occasionally now, more so in the past.

However, I have always been intrigued about what on earth they talk about. It appears to be nothing at all! Once sports have been mentioned, they lapse into long comfortable silences. My husband will return home with NO gossip, no information whatsoever. How can this be?

Compare that to us women - within 10 minutes we are into intimate, emotional and other important matters. Given a couple of hours we will cover a wide range of subjects. During which we do not stop talking. If with a close trusted friend, we will talk of very personal things indeed. I certainly feel vastly better after such get-togethers.

Does this seem accurate in general?
 

Men and women are also different after work.

A man will come home and say his day was 'fine'.

A woman will return home and repeat her whole work day...every incident or thing that was said...until it's time to eat. I think it's some sort of cathartic exercise by women...to only move on with the day after a good rant.

(Oh, and men amongst men talk about sports, humorous stories from their glory days and current events.)
 
When men are together talking, they have a chance to get a word in, whereas in the company of women they have to be good listeners...... I think I'm in trouble now.... šŸ˜Š
 

The men I knew and know still have a lot to talk about. My BF has many friends and family and he does not go to bars but talks on the phone to his friends. They will see he is on fakebook and then call him. If he hasn't heard from someone in awhile or see they are sick or it is their birthday then he calls them on the phone. We run into guys he knows in Walmart or other places and they talk and talk and talk some more. They talk about where they used to work, people they know, places they have gone, cars, trucking, racing, politics, dogs, building things, fixing things, their health, etc. and much that I have left out.
 
I donā€™t know what guys talk about when they are together but my husband worked with a bunch of guys for over 30 years and this is my take on it.

They talk about the tools they have
They talk about what they are doing with the tools
They talk about their wives and the ā€˜to do listsā€™ they have
They talk about each other . Yes men gossip just like women do . Perhaps not as catty but I donā€™t know, cause Iā€™m not a guy.
They talk about their family and friends
They talk about what others are doing or should be doing
They talk about foodā€¦ what they are eating or wish they were eating
They talk about what they would like to do once they quit
They talk about guys who arenā€™t pulling their weight
They talk about who is having an affair and with who
They talk about people who quit, who should quit or be fired
They talk about what they are going to do on their days off ā€¦. Who got totally drunk and drove home wasted or had to be driven home

I just asked my man and he says they mostly talk about work and sometimes sports

Thatā€™s all I know and all I want to know. Iā€™m pretty sure they talk about women too occasionally ā€¦. and their kids etc
 
Beezer said:
Men and women are also different after work.

A man will come home and say his day was 'fine'.

A woman will return home and repeat her whole work day...every incident or thing that was said...until it's time to eat. I think it's some sort of cathartic exercise by women...to only move on with the day after a good rant.

(Oh, and men amongst men talk about sports, humorous stories from their glory days and current events.)
Click to expand...
I used to tell my husband every conversation and gossip from the office. He knew the whole cast of characters there. He listened patiently to my gabblings. Yes it was my way of debriefing.
 
PeppermintPatty said:
I donā€™t know what guys talk about when they are together but my husband worked with a bunch of guys for over 30 years and this is my take on it.

They talk about the tools they have
They talk about what they are doing with the tools
They talk about their wives and the ā€˜to do listsā€™ they have
They talk about each other . Yes men gossip just like women do . Perhaps not as catty but I donā€™t know, cause Iā€™m not a guy.
They talk about their family and friends
They talk about what others are doing or should be doing
They talk about foodā€¦ what they are eating or wish they were eating
They talk about what they would like to do once they quit
They talk about guys who arenā€™t pulling their weight
They talk about who is having an affair and with who
They talk about people who quit, who should quit or be fired
They talk about what they are going to do on their days off ā€¦. Who got totally drunk and drove home wasted or had to be driven home

I just asked my man and he says they mostly talk about work and sometimes sports

Thatā€™s all I know and all I want to know. Iā€™m pretty sure they talk about women too occasionally ā€¦. and their kids etc
Click to expand...
It's just my husband is monosyllabic by nature.
 
It depends on the guy I'm talking to. Some guys aren't very deep, so we just talk about what we've been up to lately (Projects, work, and such), sometimes sports, hobbies, science, the future, exercise, etc... But I do have a couple of buddies that I can talk with about philosophy, and deep thought subjects, nature, and sometimes even spirituality or the state of affairs in America, but strangely enough, rarely about women. That seems to be a more private topic.

Oddly enough, I usually have more interesting discussions with women. I grew up with 3 sisters, so I guess I just became comfortable with that dynamic, and learned to talk about a wide range of subjects. However, like men, some are just more interesting than others.
 
Last edited:
I have been in a couple sports leagues for many years. What do we talk about? Sports! Also, home repairs/remodeling, stock & options trading, work (if still working), trips, and sometimes food as some are into cooking (mostly barbecue).

What we do not talk about: wives, girlfriends, kids and grandkids, health problems, and politics (there are some differences and it would be argumentative).
 
Last edited:
Rose65 said:
My husband can spend hours at a bar with a male friend, get merry and consider it a good time. This is only occasionally now, more so in the past.

However, I have always been intrigued about what on earth they talk about. It appears to be nothing at all! Once sports have been mentioned, they lapse into long comfortable silences. My husband will return home with NO gossip, no information whatsoever. How can this be?

Compare that to us women - within 10 minutes we are into intimate, emotional and other important matters. Given a couple of hours we will cover a wide range of subjects. During which we do not stop talking. If with a close trusted friend, we will talk of very personal things indeed. I certainly feel vastly better after such get-togethers.

Does this seem accurate in general?
Click to expand...
I think you have actually answered your own question: each talks about what is important to them.

Men really don't talk about emotional or intimate things but only to those who are very close to them. And, I don't think women are any different. Men as do women have friends who are friends by purpose or degree.

The degree of friendship depends on an initial relationship (like between siblings of near equal age whose presence goes far back in one's life) or to the mail man who one only sees for a moment, but everyday. On the other hand it can be the situation which influences intimacy.

I once worked as a bank teller. The bank encouraged all the tellers to develop close relationships to their customers. Hurrying them along was not a priority of ours. I found that given the chance to speak my customers were very intimate with me. Many told me about family problems with their children or neighbors. And, they were ongoing or serial stories that stretched across many visits to my teller window. People with whom people trust their money will be very open about serious issues, if found.

Yes. Men and women talk about different things. But, the common quality of all these things is that they are held to be equally intimate and important by whichever group they apply to.

Maybe the reason your husband got some joy from the boys at the bar was because that's where he could find it at that time. But, his need for it now has changed. The meaning may not be what you think.
 
bobcat said:
It depends on the guy I'm talking to. Some guys aren't very deep, so we just talk about what we've been up to lately (Projects, work, and such), sometimes sports, hobbies, science, the future, exercise, etc... But I do have a couple of buddies that I can talk with about philosophy, and deep thought subjects, nature, and sometimes even spirituality or the state of affairs in America, but strangely enough, rarely about women. That seems to be a more private topic.

Oddly enough, I usually have more interesting discussions with women. I grew up with 3 sisters, so I guess I just became comfortable with that dynamic, and learned to talk about a wide range of subjects. However, like men, some are just more interesting than others.
Click to expand...
Generally, I find that men are not so shy about what they talk about as much as they are unskilled in knowing when it is appropriate or how to bring it up. For example, I am at a bar with my second beer watching a loud game on the TV and the guy next to me wants to talk to me about his boss at work. By my second beer and a close game I have a bet on this is not the right time or place for this, and I tell him so. So the guy goes away and shuts up for a week without talking to anyone about his boss, but about this bum who told him off at the bar. And, that's intimacy to him.šŸ˜”
 
bobcat said:
It depends on the guy I'm talking to. Some guys aren't very deep, so we just talk about what we've been up to lately (Projects, work, and such), sometimes sports, hobbies, science, the future, exercise, etc... But I do have a couple of buddies that I can talk with about philosophy, and deep thought subjects, nature, and sometimes even spirituality or the state of affairs in America, but strangely enough, rarely about women. That seems to be a more private topic.
Click to expand...
It's interesting. I could have said much the same, in my own words. With the couples in our circle, we all know and respect each other as individuals. We tend to avoid talking, one guy to another, about our partners.
 
PeppermintPatty said:
I donā€™t know what guys talk about when they are together but my husband worked with a bunch of guys for over 30 years and this is my take on it.

They talk about the tools they have
They talk about what they are doing with the tools
They talk about their wives and the ā€˜to do listsā€™ they have
They talk about each other . Yes men gossip just like women do . Perhaps not as catty but I donā€™t know, cause Iā€™m not a guy.
They talk about their family and friends
They talk about what others are doing or should be doing
They talk about foodā€¦ what they are eating or wish they were eating
They talk about what they would like to do once they quit
They talk about guys who arenā€™t pulling their weight
They talk about who is having an affair and with who
They talk about people who quit, who should quit or be fired
They talk about what they are going to do on their days off ā€¦. Who got totally drunk and drove home wasted or had to be driven home

I just asked my man and he says they mostly talk about work and sometimes sports

Thatā€™s all I know and all I want to know. Iā€™m pretty sure they talk about women too occasionally ā€¦. and their kids etc
Click to expand...
Thinking about the original question that started this thread, and then reading PeppermintPatty's post. It seems to me circumstances are worth considering. By which I mean the work situation of the man. If he's not retired but still working, that's one factor. Does he get together at the bar with male co-workers? Does he work in an office? Does he work in a situation involving a lot of other men? or a mixed-gender work situation? Etc.

Has he habitually worked as a private contractor, as I did for all my later work life? In my experience as a sort of lone wolf, there were virtually no office romances to observe, no affairs among co-workers to know about. No opportunities for flirting, no one to tell an off-color joke to ( or hear one from).

With some contract work, it was feast or famine, and "days off" might have been a week or several weeks in the future. Or, for a period, a day off might have occurred every three days or so. There weren't many "employees" one could observe to know if they're not pulling their weight. What could I have known about who should be fired? During the greater portion of my work life, if I was going to talk about tools I have & what I do with them, it would have been with friends whose employment situation was very probably different from mine. (Yes, I appreciate my tools, and most of my male friends do use tools for a variety of things.)

So I think it can be difficult to generalize.
 
Last edited:
The more personal the subject, the less men will talk about it and gossip is frowned upon as well as often anything requiring overthinking ... out loud. There are lines in the sand and wishy-washy opinions when expressed are sometimes viewed as weakness or flawed. At least in conversations among men. Some of the deepest thinkers may be among the quietest and humble. Still water runs deep. And may not be easily engaged.
 
Last edited:
Let's see - we just had a men's night out this past Wednesday. At my table we talked about:

The high cost of chicken wings
College football
NFL football
Whether, at our age, it's possible to actually get better at golf
Assorted golf stories
Hockey
The different beers that we were drinking
Assorted aches and pains
Random insults (all in good fun)
Who's traveling where for the holidays
Gary, we always talk about Gary (and apologize in advance to the wait staff for him) :)
The couple of motorcycle guys talked about motorcycles
Pickleball
Where to buy tires
The HOA
Why anyone would ever watch soccer
I'm sure there was more, but I don't remember
 
My guy has lunch 2 or 3 times a month with guys he worked with. I don't know what they talk about, because I don't attend the lunches.

I do know what they talk about when his motorcycle club gets together because I HAVE been there: shifters and shaft drives and gears and fenders and windshields and tires.....a lit of talking about tires.
 

You must log in or register to reply here.

Back
Top