What emotions do you find most challenging

By "most challenging", I assume you mean personally challenging.

I'd have to say emotional surrender is almost impossible for me, so yeah, a huge challenge.

I've only let it happen twice in all my 49 adult years, and I was single most of that time. And when I look back on it, I'm pretty sure one of those times it was actually kind of superficial...definitely not 100%.

If I'd have truly surrendered to my first wife (again; emotionally), we might still be married. But I had no idea know how, and she didn't either. In fact, she's not even one of the two previously mentioned.

This is why people shouldn't marry young. Especially now.
 
Alligatorob said:
On a regular schedule? Do you issue warnings?
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My once a year anger on a schedule....nope, simply comes upon me when I feel those buttons being pushed.

Do I issue warnings when I get angry?

No need to.....direct eye contact, daggers shooting out from them, no shouting but my words are deliberate and measured to be sure you are understanding me. You know, typical redheaded anger.:)

I'm guessing I'll never have a need to show you, 'cuz you rarely push any buttons.....
 

Gary O' said:

What emotions do you find most challenging​



I'm there
never could

I am jealous of those that can have a good cry
I envy them

Pisses me off

So, yeah, crying

That's the only emotion I can think of
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Kind of a funny story; when I was a pre-adolescent my dad told me crying was just adrenaline leaking out.

I'm sure you can picture it....I was crying because I'd lost a fight, pretty badly. He asked me if I ever noticed how sometimes a fighter's eyes get all red and fill with water (his word). That's adrenaline, he said, "Keep it in. Use it!"
 
Right Now said:
My once a year anger on a schedule....nope, simply comes upon me when I feel those buttons being pushed.

Do I issue warnings when I get angry?

No need to.....direct eye contact, daggers shooting out from them, no shouting but my words are deliberate and measured to be sure you are understanding me. You know, typical redheaded anger.:)

I'm guessing I'll never have a need to show you, 'cuz you rarely push any buttons.....
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My eyes are dark green and people tell me they turn brown when I get really angry.

Probly because of all the sh*t I'm thinking I'll do to you cuz you pissed me off. (not you personally)
 
NorthernLight said:
I hate crying. That lack of control. I can't understand people who say it makes them feel "better."
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It makes me feel better. I only discovered this fairly recently...like about 4 or 5 years ago. Which was actually when I had a whole lot of very good reasons to cry.

It's a release, but even better than that, at some point you ask yourself Why you're crying, and that makes you stop and think, and then you start analyzing. The anger or frustration or whatever caused the crying, that goes away after you cry for a while, like you literally cry it out, and then you can start thinking logically about solutions.

That's how it works for me, anyway. I can be a lot more reasonable and logical after I release my anger and frustration without doing something stupid...by crying instead.
 
Happiness

Always been a reserved, introspective, sensitive person; often felt, growing up, like life was a battle, not a pleasure. (various things contributed--family 'dynamics,' school--loved the learning part but I seldom 'got' the social/fitting-in part and was teased a lot; some of it was overt/exterior and some was the way I took things).

Up til a few years ago, kind of had an overall, "This is painful, that's what I deserve" feeling. More comfortable with emotional pain, struggle, and and putting others' needs ahead of my own, ALL the TIME.

I'm gradually learning to not expect the worst and not to be suspicious of happiness. I'm allowing myself to do things for me, to keep mental/emotional balance.
 
I'm envious of the "Drive" or "Push" some people have to become successful. Or like Matrix who has built this website. I don't have the brains it took to program such so I'm very envious of that.

In my youth misplaced anger was a problem not exactly for me but for others which to this day I regret. I now will get angry with some people on the net or in the area where I'm at and I will in my mind scenario play arguments.

What this does is I will sit by myself and imagine the scene the argument to fight the insult and try to find out a answer without letting any of those
 
I'm envious of the "Drive" or "Push" some people have to become successful. Or like Matrix who has built this website. I don't have the brains it took to program such so I'm very envious of that.

In my youth misplaced anger was a problem not exactly for me but for others which to this day I regret. I now will get angry with some people on the net or in the area where I'm at and I will in my mind scenario play arguments.

What this does is I will sit by myself and imagine the scene the argument the fight the insult and try to find out a answer without letting any of those instances of anger appear.
 
It used to be when making a visit to a home after midnight to give parents or a spouse a death notification. In some cases, I would cry more than the parents, especially when I had kids at home near to the age of the victims.
 
I have a real problem with people who get emotional when it comes to dealing with issues that require logic. I've gotten better at dealing with people like that, but they're still a challenge.
 
David777 said:
Spock has been a hero for a long time. The abilty to suppress emotions is a most useful skill.
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Controlling how you behave in response to the emotions you have is useful. but suppressing emotions is risky tactic psychologically, they have a pesky habit of popping up elsewhere in one's life--often things like being disproportionately angry with others (particularly service people, road rage) for minor things. Plus, due to mind/body connections it can be bad for your health as it creates stress.

It is much healthier to 1) define and acknowledge what we are feeling about a situation or person but 2) pause to think before we ACT on that emotion. 3) Sometimes it is a matter of having a broader perspective that allows one to be selective about what one takes personally. And BTW, over the decades, the Star Trek 'Universe' has acknowledged this. The whole original purpose of the Vulcan restraint of emotional displays was because they recognized the harm in acting on emotions without considering the impact or consequences of those acts.
 
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MarkinPhx said:
Fear
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While non-phobic levels of fear can be useful (keeping us from making harmful choices) fear is actually the driving force behind most emotions that get labeled 'negative': anger, jealousy/envy, pathological possessive attachments to things or people. Most often what is at the root of all those things is fear: concern one isn't getting 'enough', one's 'due' or share; fear of losing anything one values (job, loved one, one, status, in some cases one's self-image).
 
Judycat said:
Seeing and hearing about suffering. I can't stand it. I can't suppress my feelings toward it. I wish it didn't exist.
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This seems to be a common one on this thread--it relates to compassion and 'compassion fatigue'.

i learned decades ago that the most effective way for me to deal with it involves 3 main tactics:
1) i take care of myself physically and emotionally, which means some solitude and quiet 'me time' daily for optimum results because it helps me maintain energy for the other steps.
2) i'm mindful of how i interact with even strangers--i'm courteous, friendly, kind in small habitual ways (holding doors, smiling, acknowledging people's presence, thanking people even when they are 'doing their jobs').
3) When it comes to pervasive issues of society--i follow Teddy Roosevelt's advice doing what i can, where i am with what i have.
 
grief I lost a cat I had raised from 3months until he had to be put down at 15 1/2. I had not intended he was to be mine but rather the lady I was living with so she could heal from surgery,stay in bed and play with the cat however she grew tired of me and gave me the boot, told me to take the cat or else. he has been dead 7 yrs now and everytime i think of him it rips me apart. my 'not mine cat' that i picked up as a stray lived content with me for 7 years and died. and now i am to frail to care for a cat.
 

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