What is one or 2 things your dad

Paulina

Paulina

Member
Location
S.F. Bay Area
did for you that is seared in your mind? My dad didn't like me as I was a mistake and was always reminded of that growing up, but I have to give him credit. I was very tall growing up. I kept telling my parents the kids are always calling me Big Bird. When I turned 10 sure as hell he bought me a yellow bike. Cute.

The second thing that was actually very, very kind was after he worked for Goodyear 20 years, he earned 2 seats to ride on the Goodyear Blimp. He actually chose me to be his passenger. I about dropped dead. I was about 10 or 11 at the time. We got to the airport and the company made a mistake by saying, "We have your reservation, but we only have one seat left". I told my dad to go as he earned it. He said, "Go ahead Paulina. Have fun". I felt bad but I did go. I'll never forget that experience. Incredible!
 

My dad helped me make a map of Long Island out of plaster of Paris on a wood background. It was loosely topographical and I painted it in appropriate colors. it was framed by a nautical rope and had a brass ships wheel designating direction. We were both quite pleased with the result. I was about 16.
My teacher insisted on keeping it.
 
Unfortunately, my dad did more than a few things that are "seared" in my mind, and most of those aren't good. He wasn't the type anyone could get close to.

But, I remember one thing to his credit. He came home from work one day with a big black mixed dog and told me it was mine. That was something totally out of character. I'll never forget that dog. He turned out to be one of the best pets I ever had.
 

He took me to the park on various weekend days. I remember he sat on the front porch with me and helped me take apart a wristwatch. He would take me to the movies sometimes, usually in the winter these were all on weekends when he wasn't working. If there was a parade in town it was my father that took me; he did a lot of things with me when I was little.
 
My father didn't like me..... the oldest of the three boys was his favorite, so he tolerated me, the youngest, with very bad grace.
However there was one act of thoughtful generosity that meant a lot to me.
1967....I was 14 yrs. old....the family was leaving Hong Kong, our home for 9 years (after 10 years in Manila P.I.).
I was terribly unhappy with the move. Dad worked for PanAm and he knew the airplane pilots and he secured for me a seat in the cockpit's observer seat for the takeoff from KaiTak airport. My last view of my hometown was pretty dramatic. Thanks Dad.
But I still vividly recall every time you called me stupid and deficient.
 
It's quite amusing in a tragic kinda of way.... my father was so cruel to me.. but he wasn't with my sister 3 years younger than me,, she looked just like him....and so he never hit her, and she used it always to her advantage... but after she moved away, she had no contact with him... and when I told her he'd died.. ''good she said''... what did he die from.. was it being an Evil Bas tard ?


Sadly it wasn't... but he did live into his 80's and my mother always said only the good die young...
 
Dad did a lot. I think one of thing I remember most would be a good work ethic. He always worked hard & took overtime whenever he could get it which wasn't very often. He always said if you were going to do something, do it right or don't do it at all. That has carried into everything I do.

I also learned how to do wood working & house maintenance repairs. It also gave me confidence to repair other things myself & to know when I needed to call a pro.
 
The thing I remember most was when I was a kid and we used to visit my grandmother's house in another state. I always had trouble sleeping and he would always use a very gentle hand to rock me to sleep.

When I came out as an adult he invited me to his office for lunch and said, "You are choosing a very difficult life but I will support you in any decision you make". That was in the 70's so he was so forward-thinking. And he always did support me.
 
seadoug said:
The thing I remember most was when I was a kid and we used to visit my grandmother's house in another state. I always had trouble sleeping and he would always use a very gentle hand to rock me to sleep.

When I came out as an adult he invited me to his office for lunch and said, "You are choosing a very difficult life but I will support you in any decision you make". That was in the 70's so he was so forward-thinking. And he always did support me.
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OMG. Memories huh? My Grandpa loved me too. I was quite young when he passed away, but he was always the one for whom actually showed me some sort of affection. No gentle touches but downright proud I was his granddaughter. After him? Nothing. I so, so miss him it's not funny. I love you Grandpa Martin! My absolute #1 Croation.
 
Paulina said:
OMG. Memories huh? My Grandpa loved me too. I was quite young when he passed away, but he was always the one for whom actually showed me some sort of affection. No gentle touches but downright proud I was his granddaughter. After him? Nothing. I so, so miss him it's not funny. I love you Grandpa Martin! My absolute #1 Croation.
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Sorry, I didn't realize you were Croatian. We love Croatia. We've been to Dubrovnik, Split and Hvar and I once overnighted in Zagreb on a flight back home. It was such a charming little place. Lot of great memories of Croatia!
 
Rakaia said:
I didn't have a dad, I had a father and later my step-father became My Old Man, he's the one I knew and remember with affection.

The term seared in my mind implies trauma to me, so yeah he shot himself.
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I am so, so very sorry. That must have been so horrific for you. I truly don't know what to say but once again, I couldn't be so sorry enough.
 
Dad was strict and no nonsense, but mom balanced that with her easy going nature.

Being raised an only child while we were dairying, the joke when I grew up was that dad had a wrench in my hand before mom could get a frying pan in it. I was a responsible kid and was his Gopher. He also had me driving the tractor with the hay wagon when I was four — mom had six kinds of hissy fits over that, but I was in hog heaven😇😇

I would have gone bankrupt in life had dad not taught me how to fix things.❤️
 
seadoug said:
Sorry, I didn't realize you were Croatian. We love Croatia. We've been to Dubrovnik, Split and Hvar and I once overnighted in Zagreb on a flight back home. It was such a charming little place. Lot of great memories of Croatia!
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A relative of mine as well as one of my doctors both vacationed in Croatia in recent months. Prior to that I had no idea it was a popular vacation spot.
 
seadoug said:
Sorry, I didn't realize you were Croatian. We love Croatia. We've been to Dubrovnik, Split and Hvar and I once overnighted in Zagreb on a flight back home. It was such a charming little place. Lot of great memories of Croatia!
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Don't be sorry. I envy you for being able to go there. I hear it's just absolutely beautiful! My grandfather came to the states in the 1800's. He and his wife at the time were only able to bring a bit to the states. One thing he brought was a giant cockleshell (of all things) from the Adriatic Sea. He got that from the beach when he was just a little guy. Do you know I still have it? I don't have anyone to pass it down to as my son is disabled and wouldn't understand it's ancestry. I feel really bad about that. I'm sorry. Thanks for letting me go on and on and on and on. Thanks again Seadoug! I'm so glad you were able to see Croatia in person.
 
My father was emotionally unavailable. I don't blame him, his parents didn't teach him any other way to be. He made sure to take care of us, but it was still tough as a youngster.

I've tried to emotionally connect with him in later years, but with very limited success. He's probably down to his last couple of years and it makes me sad that he will pass on and we will never share many things...

I found out this is actually not that uncommon. While not a perfect parent, I made sure my children (long grown up) know that I love and think of them often.
 
Paulina said:
I am so, so very sorry. That must have been so horrific for you. I truly don't know what to say but once again, I couldn't be so sorry enough.
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Luckily I was too young to know what what was going on but I did know he was gone.
There was an up side to it, Mum being a Kiwi decided to go back to NZ and I'm eternally grateful for growing up Downunder.
 

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