What is the Deal with Being Super Cheap?

[Inept]

... had an uncle ... I remember a story about him buying a pair of work boots at a "rummage sale". one boot was a size too small and the other a size too big... he made it work. there's a place in Conshohocken (Philly burbs) that specializes in nuts.. in shells, shelled, whole, pieces... at a good price. they would sell something they called "squirrel food"... jars of the dregs from their excellent homemade nut butters.... dirt cheap... meant for bird feeders. he'd pick out the occasion twig/shell to make a PB&J.

Wow! Was it true or just one of those "Old thrifty uncle Angus" stories?

I'm a fan of thrift stores and yard sales.

I'm not adverse to treasure hunter-hunting now and then myself.

I don't understand how anyone can just get rid of a well-worn, comfy, blue denim shirt. can't pass one by one in a thrift store.

I draw the line at undergarments. I know the T-Vs get most of theirs' at the second-handers because the bartering is more discrete and I don't blame them for that.

I don't cheap out on food. real butter... not margarine. mayo... not miracle whip. good olive oil. good tuna... my preference is solid white in olive oil.

Now you're talkin'!

 

[oscash]

Some of our parents were raised during the depression and that experience left lasting issues with some from that generation.
Heck there might be a couple of members here who were raised during the depression.
Just as some life experiences might leave us with issues maybe.

@Remy, I see you're in California and made me think about the thousands who left the Midwest during the dust bowl with little more than clothes on their back and headed for California. Those times were hard. The depression was hard. I won't judge.

My husband was born in 1929 the start of the great depression. He was number 6 in a large family. His poor mother was beside herself when it came to feeding such a large family. . Her husband was a policeman, and the wages were not that high. She used to go door to door selling Kayser nylon stockings with five children with her.
She was always trying to think up ways to get money. She decided to put the non-working iron on the stove to heat it up and sent one of the children up to the pawn shop and say, "Mum has just finished ironing and can she have a few shillings for the iron". With that she would go to the local cake shop and buy pies and cakes for the family which would last a day or two. My husband said they were terrible times.

 

[Inept]

My husband was born in 1929 the start of the great depression. He was number 6 in a large family. His poor mother was beside herself when it came to feeding such a large family. . Her husband was a policeman, and the wages were not that high. She used to go door to door selling Kayser nylon stockings with five children with her.
She was always trying to think up ways to get money. She decided to put the non-working iron on the stove to heat it up and sent one of the children up to the pawn shop and say, "Mum has just finished ironing and can she have a few shillings for the iron". With that she would go to the local cake shop and buy pies and cakes for the family which would last a day or two. My husband said they were terrible times.

"The luck of the Irish" is a fallacy, then? You’re doing OK though, yes. I’m happy to see that, Oscash.

 

[Judycat]

@Remy. Your story reminded me of a friend I had in middle school. Her lunch was mustard or ketchup sandwiches. Her mother also had mental problems. There was no way I could eat my sandwich in front of her so I gave her half and half of my cake. My family was money challenged too, but ketchup sandwiches? C'mon. We all struggled through school back then I guess.

 

[VaughanJB]

It's all about priorities, I guess. I don't like to overspend on things, but it always depends on what it is, and what the difference is. So, for the sake of £3 I'm not going to worry. I also won't compromise on quality.

Some people are simply obsessed, and would better to examine the obsession aspect of what they're doing.

On the other hand, the OP talks about buying cheap plates. Now, some love their bone china, others would be happy with paper plates. So that's just a matter of what you personally value. I mean, the food doesn't care what it's served on.

When it comes to children though, especially young children, one should consider the possible harm you're doing.

 

[Imogene]

What @Inept said — our parents went thru the Depression and had learned to save, save, and save some more.

My mom, however, went the opposite. Old and wore out drove her crazy. My step father had a high paying job. She dressed all of us very well. I could go three weeks without wearing the same thing to school.

Mom could be frugal when she needed to be, but she wasn’t one to rinse out paper towels. My frayed sweaters and older coats were relegated to the barn closet.

 

[Remy]

What was your mothers childhood like growing up? What were her parents habits?

I ask that because IMO there is an individual on SF that is great example of how what most would consider as parents negatively impacting their daughters hoarding. Without your mothers input or knowing what caused that kind of behavior it's not fair for me to comment on what I don't know.

There is a lot I don't know. My mother was an immigrant. They were not rich or poor. My mother was from Dresen Germany. She did say once they had enough money to have a woman come in once a week and help her mother with the wash. So I don't think they went without food. I think there were 4 kids.

Once my mother told me she had a new hat and she was walking across the bridge, it was windy and the hat blew off into the river. Obviously she could not get the hat back. She said she told her mother, who got mad at her about losing the new hat. But then she said "she must have felt bad because she got me another hat." What I would ask today was how mad. Did she rage for two days like my mother could. I doubt that. She probably just got upset at the moment. But I don't know.

My mother also said her mother sent her to visit her mother's sister in Poland as a child. My mother didn't like her or being there and she said she started screaming "I want to go home" so her aunt wired her sister, put my mother on a train and she never had to go back. But my mother liked her father's widowed sister who lived in the mountains and she went there every summer by train to stay a time with her and had made friends in the little town.

My oldest brother also told me in Germany that my mother got into a fight with her father once when she went to see him and as far as he knew, she never spoke to him again. My mother lost everything in the war, went hungry. I don't know what she really experienced. I'm blabbing all this because I don't know what turned my mother into such a personality disorder. Was it already there as a child due to her flipping out at her aunt? Or did the war and after cause it.

And I'll say it forever, no excuse to abuse your children. Ever. There are other examples and some of them are mistreatment and neglect of pets. I refuse to relay them here. The memories are horrible to me. My mother did later, become much better with pet care. Gratefully. And yes, there was money to care for the animals.

 

[Remy]

@VaughanJB Cheap plates? No no no. I have plates, mugs and other things at thrift stores that go for some good money as vintage on ebay and etsy.

I buy them because I like the patterns and I don't eat off anything made in China. I do have some knives etc because sometimes you can't find them otherwise. I enjoy thrifted kitchen items. I have a Revere Ware made in USA copper bottom large pot I got for $6.00, like new condition. Those go $40.00 and more on the secondary market and add shipping. I'll take my bargain.

I have 4 of these cheap dinner plates. Oh YES they were! I got them for 25 cents each at Salvation Army about 15 years ago. In like new condition. I even went back the next week to see if anymore in this set showed up. Never found anymore anywhere. My favorites. I always worry I will break one. I also like the Japan pattern plates, often with colorful flowers.

https://www.etsy.com/listing/1303578155/mikasa-tivoli-dinner-plates-fine-ivory

Prices do vary but mine were in unused appearing condition.

 

[Remy]

I will also add, I'm a thrifter and so was my mother. That part does not bother me. In fact I'm surprised I do like to thrift so much considering that. One thing I do remember, my mother was never in a bad mood on the day of some of the big rummage sales in town. She loved them.

 

[Knight]

My mother lost everything in the war, went hungry. I don't know what she really experienced. I'm blabbing all this because I don't know what turned my mother into such a personality disorder. Was it already there as a child due to her flipping out at her aunt? Or did the war and after cause it.

I appreciate you taking the time to respond in such detail.

I think that part of your post says a lot. Describing your mothers actions as personality disorder fits perfectly. There is a distinction between personality disorder & mental illness.

Thankfully you are able to recognize that something impacted your mother. Maybe better is you are able to step back & do differently in your life.

No doubt that a persons mind is fragile & subject to life's experiences.

 

[VaughanJB]

@VaughanJB Cheap plates? No no no. I have plates, mugs and other things at thrift stores that go for some good money as vintage on ebay and etsy.

Okay, okay. *I* eat off cheap plates.