What is the fascination for grandchildren?

fuzzybuddy

fuzzybuddy

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Northeast PA. 3 miles from the Pocono race track
I never had kids. So, having grandkids is out, too. Never having grandkids, I've always wonder what it was with grand parents, and grand children. I can understand the bond between a parent and a child. Yet, I've seen grandparents break the law to be with their grandkids. And I've seen all kinds of machinations for grandparents to get custody of them. Surprisingly, getting visiting rights for grandparents is a common legal battleground. Well, not having them, I've always wondered why there is this hunger to be with the next generation. What is the fascination for grandchildren?
 

I always wonder that myself. I have one child and he is disabled so I will never be a grandparent. It doesn't bother me in the least. I watched my own parents change so much when they became grandparents. I didn't recognize them at all. Especially my mother. Now I had a very close relationship with my grandmother but she was never like that to any of her grandchildren.
 

katlupe said:
I always wonder that myself. I have one child and he is disabled so I will never be a grandparent. It doesn't bother me in the least. I watched my own parents change so much when they became grandparents. I didn't recognize them at all. Especially my mother. Now I had a very close relationship with my grandmother but she was never like that to any of her grandchildren.
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I don't have grandchildren either , my daughter is emphatic about never having children, so it will never happen, so like you I only have my relationship with my own grandparents to go by... I lived with my paternal grandmother for 2 years when I was little, but much as she did her best, she was never the rosy faced grandparent , baking cookies, .. but after I left her and was eventually living back with my parents she'd often take us kids to the seaside for a day trip...or to the theatre to see a show, she only had a small pension so we'd be up in the Gods , but I loved her...
 
It's hard to put into words. There are multiple reasons. I think it starts with your awareness that, when the grandchild is born, your child likely experienced the level of love and feelings of responsibility that you experienced when they were born, and you're grateful (for lack of a better word) to the grandchild for giving your own child that experience. The relationship grows from there, but that initial feeling of immense gratitude is always at the root of it.
 
IMO, grandkids are the Reward parents have for the challenges of raising their own children. While responsible parents constantly have to try to keep their kids headed down the right track, grandparents can "spoil them rotten, then send them home". We're now regular participants in helping raise our 3rd generation, and it's quite nice. When our daughters were working, my wife watched the grandkids almost daily, and they were a joy to have around the house. Now that we have great-grandkids, we have the little one's with us a half dozen weekends per year, while their parents are taking a short weekend "break". Those weekends are always a bunch of fun, and we really enjoy having the youngsters around. Tomorrow afternoon, we will go pick up the oldest great-granddaughter, 15 years old, after school, and she will stay with us until Sunday evening. She and my wife are "best friends" and we will probably have a real nice couple of days together.
 
RadishRose said:
Unless you've raised and loved a child of your own it's impossible for me to explain it.

It's much more than having fun with them and handing them back to the parents when they get cranky.
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And that's the story in a nutshell ! Perfect explanation. You get (as a grandparent) all of the enjoyment and foolishness that you can share with a grandchild, without the responsibilities for teaching and disciplining that you (as a parent) had with your own kids.

I can't speak to messed up families with divorces and custody battles, and all the rest that goes with dysfunctional folks. That's another story entirely.

We're now enjoying the next level of young ones at present. Nine great grands and they all live within easy driving distance so the fun never ends but the responsibilities do !
 
Wow, kids who have you all for grandparents are so lucky. I can't imagine having grandparents like that--although I noticed other kids at school who did--I got 1 crazy grandmother who wanted custody of all her grands but luckily didn't get since she would've made us crazy like she did my dad, and the other set of grandparents couldn't care less about us kids, didn't want to be bothered.
 
Grandchildren are God's gift to us for allowing our children to reach adulthood without smothering them in their teens.....LOL.

I had two sets of wonderful grandparents and spent a lot of time with them. I learned a huge amount from them. I've tried to pass that down to my granddaughters and great-granddaughters. It's my reward and my obligation to be a good grandmother.
 
I was actually thinking of this the other day. I did not have children either so no grandchildren for me. My mother was older when she had me so three of my four grandparents were dead by the time I was born. My remaining grandmother was not loving at all. In fact, I was afraid of her. She died when I was 10 so I guess it is hard for me to understand.
 
officerripley said:
Wow, kids who have you all for grandparents are so lucky. I can't imagine having grandparents like that--although I noticed other kids at school who did--I got 1 crazy grandmother who wanted custody of all her grands but luckily didn't get since she would've made us crazy like she did my dad, and the other set of grandparents couldn't care less about us kids, didn't want to be bothered.
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My maternal grandparents were like that. We lived just around the corner from them until I was around 7 years old , and only once in my recollection did my grandmother only, come to visit... ..I think it broke my mother's heart because she'd been given away to an orphanage when she was a toddler and raised by abusive nuns.. so I think she thought her mum and dad would be happy to have her near them now she was an adult.. but no...
 
hollydolly said:
My maternal grandparents were like that. We lived just around the corner from them until I was around 7 years old , and only once in my recollection did my grandmother only, come to visit... ..I think it broke my mother's heart because she'd been given away to an orphanage when she was a toddler and raised by abusive nuns.. so I think she thought her mum and dad would be happy to have her near them now she was an adult.. but no...
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I guess it just shows that, as not all people are cut out to be parents, neither are all people cut out to be grandparents; sad but really true, I think.
 
My bf in a way, has shown me a little about being a grandparent. He has a huge family and is close to not only his 3 children, but all of his grandchildren and their children. In fact, he babysits his great grandson due to going to kindergarten on the computer. He truly enjoys them all. In fact, one of his grandsons is more like a real son to him than his son is. His relationship with his grandchildren is nothing like the way my mother was with her grandchildren. She let them do whatever they wanted (not my son, he was with me) and they turned out horrible. Their father, my brother doesn't even see them now. I think they would have been good children if it hadn't been for my mother and their own mother (she didn't want them). I think my feelings about grandchildren may be affected by my niece and nephew and what life was like with them.

I want to add that my grandmother did not spoil us or buy us stuff, but no matter what she loved all her grandchildren and it showed.
 
fuzzybuddy said:
I never had kids. So, having grandkids is out, too. Never having grandkids, I've always wonder what it was with grand parents, and grand children. I can understand the bond between a parent and a child. Yet, I've seen grandparents break the law to be with their grandkids. And I've seen all kinds of machinations for grandparents to get custody of them. Surprisingly, getting visiting rights for grandparents is a common legal battleground
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The U.S. Supreme court has ruled Grandparent's have no Constitutional right to see their grandkids unless the parent (s) agree. So the legalties stem from that.
 
I adored my grandmother. We spent all summer at her place. She let me dip the apple slices in sugar & cinnamon when she was making a pie.

Quite honestly none of mine live near me and I‘m not used to having six kids around. The youngest is 11 now so it’s not an issue. I desperately want to go see them but I know we aren’t close the way I was with my grandmother.
 
fuzzybuddy said:
I've always wondered why there is this hunger to be with the next generation.
fuzzybuddy said:
What is the fascination for grandchildren?
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For me, this reads different

I have 17 grands and a couple greats

I have no fascination for these tiny gooey fingered beings

But

They seem to have an attraction to this grump-ass
After gramma gets done with 'em, they gravitate my way
Under foot
A gazillion questions
They eat up my favorite food
Want to touch my stuff, my keepsakes
.....aaaand they mess up my tools

Little bass turds

And

I love 'em so

We raised two of 'em

The rewards keep coming from that endeavor

fuzzybuddy said:
What is the fascination for grandchildren?
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Heh
Guess it may culminate in keeping touch with the perpetuation of life itself



Now, if I can just find my favorite hammer one of their grubby little hands left in the yard..............
 

The Children's Hour​

BY HENRY WADSWORTH LONGFELLOW
Between the dark and the daylight,
When the night is beginning to lower,
Comes a pause in the day's occupations,
That is known as the Children's Hour.

I hear in the chamber above me
The patter of little feet,
The sound of a door that is opened,
And voices soft and sweet.

From my study I see in the lamplight,
Descending the broad hall stair,
Grave Alice, and laughing Allegra,
And Edith with golden hair.

A whisper, and then a silence:
Yet I know by their merry eyes
They are plotting and planning together
To take me by surprise.

A sudden rush from the stairway,
A sudden raid from the hall!
By three doors left unguarded
They enter my castle wall!

They climb up into my turret
O'er the arms and back of my chair;
If I try to escape, they surround me;
They seem to be everywhere.

They almost devour me with kisses,
Their arms about me entwine,
Till I think of the Bishop of Bingen
In his Mouse-Tower on the Rhine!

Do you think, O blue-eyed banditti,
Because you have scaled the wall,
Such an old mustache as I am
Is not a match for you all!

I have you fast in my fortress,
And will not let you depart,
But put you down into the dungeon
In the round-tower of my heart.

And there will I keep you forever,
Yes, forever and a day,
Till the walls shall crumble to ruin,
And moulder in dust away!
 
My grandpa lived with us while I was growing up, andI absolutely adored him. He never disciplined us, but we “knew” to be good when with him. We’d go on walks, he told us stories about his life, we’d play cards, listen to badeball games on the radio, fetch his pipe for him, help pull him up from the chair. He loved us, pure and simple, and we loved him right back.

Having children is one thing. It’s beautiful and magical, sad at times, messy at times, frustrating at times, tiring at times, worrisome almost always.

But when your kids have kids...wow!!!! They are almost like pets because they love you no matter what. You are”Grandma” or “Grandpa,” put on earth for the sole purpose to simply love them.
You get to play with them, make memories with them. You are a presence in their life like no other.

I guess I don’t know how to explain it either. It’s just pretty gosh darn wonderful for some unexplainable reason 💕
 
Kathleen’s Place said:
Having children is one thing. It’s beautiful and magical, sad at times, messy at times, frustrating at times, tiring at times, worrisome almost always.

But when your kids have kids...wow!!!! They are almost like pets because they love you no matter what. You are”Grandma” or “Grandpa,” put on earth for the sole purpose to simply love them.
You get to play with them, make memories with them. You are a presence in their life like no other.

I guess I don’t know how to explain it either. It’s just pretty gosh darn wonderful for some unexplainable reason 💕
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I think you summed it up pretty well there Kathleen (y)
 
Grandchildren are wonderful and great grandchildren are even better. You have the love, fun, and joy without the drudgery of discipline and responsibility. I agree with everything positive everyone has said, but I will add. Grandchildren teach your children the reasons why you acted a certain way and did a certain thing.

Your children learn, through the experience of raising their children, the challenges, heartaches and joys of parenthood. As your children grow in experience, knowledge, and understanding; their relationship with you changes for the better and their old childhood resentments fall by the way side.

Your relationship with your adult children matures, 😂, they finally see you as not only parents, but people. My daughter always asked me “how could I have let her move out when she was 18”; something she regretted. My response was always “how could I stop you?”

After her daughters left and made bad choices, she finally understood.
 


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