What Is Your Greatest Relationship Deal-breaker?
- Thread starter Bella
- Start date
Amelia B
Member
- Location
- Southeast Wisconsin
Violence (emotional or physical), stealing from me, or really bad hygiene. The list could be much longer, but that’s a start.
CallMeKate
Well-known Member
- Location
- Mid-Atlantic US
And a good start it is! I'd add lying as another.
Lilac
Well-known Member
- Location
- Flyover Country
Anyone that doesn't like animals. I judge people on how they treat them.
Medusa
Well-known Member
- Location
- Mid-Atlantic
Yep, violence and/or lying. (I mean lying like big lying, not, "I love your new hair cut.")
oldaunt
professional hermit
Sex. Absolutely NOT interested.
Timewise 60+
Senior Member
Lying! I cannot love someone who is dishonest to me. I do not expect anyone to love me if I am dishonest to them.
Nathan
SF VIP
- Location
- High Desert- Calif.
If she was dishonest, lying, or embracing un-real visions of existence. Unfortunately you may not learn of these traits until much later. 
~Edited
~Edited
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Amelia B
Member
- Location
- Southeast Wisconsin
I understand that. I used to drive my poor husband crazy with my ideas of how the world could be instead of how it actually is.
palides2021
Well-known Member
- Location
- MidAtlantic, USA
On a first date, a deal-breaker would be if he talked all the time about his ex-wife or ex-girlfriend and didn't ask questions
about me.
about me.
NorthernLight
Well-known Member
- Location
- Northern BC
Disrespect. That includes a lot of things, such as lying, accusing me (e.g., of "using" them or cheating), breaking promises, comparing me to exes or late wife, and not being punctual.
oldaunt
professional hermit
Why is that so funny to some?
debodun
SF VIP
- Location
- way upstate in New York, USA
Existing.
MountainRa
Senior Member
- Location
- Upstate SC, USA
Addiction— in whatever form it takes. Addiction can lead to other undesirable behaviors that destroy relationships.
Gaer
"Angel whisperer"
- Location
- New Mexico U.S.A.
Cruelty, lying, dominating or effeminate behavior.
Whiny, drugs, fear, infidelity, apathy toward intimacy.
Whiny, drugs, fear, infidelity, apathy toward intimacy.
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palides2021
Well-known Member
- Location
- MidAtlantic, USA
I agree with what a lot of you posted. My first post was about the first date, now if "he" passed the first date,
and we continued dating, the other deal-breakers would be (not in order of importance):
-Lying about not being married; pathological liar
-Addictions (although eating is not as bad as the others)
-Narcissistic (self-centered, bursts of anger)
-Poor hygiene (bad breath)
-Flirts with other women in front of me (is a player)
The issue here is that people are unique individuals, and they typically bring a package of good and bad traits. So it's difficult to know right away their strengths and weaknesses, and these come out over time. Given that, we often get sucked into relationships because of a strong trait or appearance we like (attractive face, nice voice, height, etc). Over time, these other "bad" traits that could be a deal breaker may not feel so bad because the strong traits may overpower the weak or bad traits. Does that make sense? So we need to be truthful to ourselves as to how much of a dealbreaker these things are. Can we live with them even though we thought we didn't like that trait? So it's not as straightforward as we originally think.
and we continued dating, the other deal-breakers would be (not in order of importance):
-Lying about not being married; pathological liar
-Addictions (although eating is not as bad as the others)
-Narcissistic (self-centered, bursts of anger)
-Poor hygiene (bad breath)
-Flirts with other women in front of me (is a player)
The issue here is that people are unique individuals, and they typically bring a package of good and bad traits. So it's difficult to know right away their strengths and weaknesses, and these come out over time. Given that, we often get sucked into relationships because of a strong trait or appearance we like (attractive face, nice voice, height, etc). Over time, these other "bad" traits that could be a deal breaker may not feel so bad because the strong traits may overpower the weak or bad traits. Does that make sense? So we need to be truthful to ourselves as to how much of a dealbreaker these things are. Can we live with them even though we thought we didn't like that trait? So it's not as straightforward as we originally think.
palides2021
Well-known Member
- Location
- MidAtlantic, USA
This is unclear. What do you mean by that, @debodun? Just curious.
oldpop
Member
- Location
- Inner Space
Infidelity and or dishonesty. Both are close to the same thing.
jujube
SF VIP
Smoking.
Oh, and all that stuff above......
Oh, and all that stuff above......
Nathan
SF VIP
- Location
- High Desert- Calif.
Absolutely, if she were a smoker that would be a huge put-off.
