What to do on a second date?

Bretrick

Bretrick

Well-known Member
Location
Perth Western Australia
First date went well. You both got to know some of the interests you enjoy.
How can you solidify the "Relationship" that little bit more.
I do remember way, way back, I went on a date, we got on quite well, for the second date, we both decided, operative word being, "both" to go for a hike up into the Mountains surrounding Queenstown Tasmania. Was cool weather, when we returned we had dinner at the Historic Empire Hotel with a log fire burning. Magical day. This was 42 years ago.
 

There are all kinds of circumstances around that question:
someone you just met
someone you've known for a short while
someone you have known over say, 10 years or more
and what would have been my next thought, do I feel pressured?
 

Bretrick said:
First date went well. You both got to know some of the interests you enjoy.
How can you solidify the "Relationship" that little bit more.
I do remember way, way back, I went on a date, we got on quite well, for the second date, we both decided, operative word being, "both" to go for a hike up into the Mountains surrounding Queenstown Tasmania. Was cool weather, when we returned we had dinner at the Historic Empire Hotel with a log fire burning. Magical day. This was 42 years ago.
Click to expand...
Just depends on how well you already know them... :)
 
The thing that gave relationships momentum in the past were the plans and the promise of things not yet experienced but seemingly desirable and doable.

Getting a house, having children. Living a lifetime together.

None of this is true of life later on.

The best you can do together is get out of the house for awhile.
 
You know this got me to thinking. I haven't had a date in close to 45 years. Even then I didn't have that many "dates". Mostly when I'd meet a woman we'd wind up spending the night together. I'm not bragging, it's just the way it was and the times that were. Don't get me wrong I am not complaining!!!

If I was just hanging out with a woman, it became more of do you enjoy this, or this might be fun for both us sort of thing. The one stereo type I won't be considered as, is a social butterfly.
 
I doubt that a second date would be much different to me from a first. It takes awhile to know how compatible we're going to be. I'm big on going to movies, but I think they're a poor choice for a first or second date, since they get in the way of conversation. Dinner is fine for a first date. A second "date" could be something on a Saturday afternoon, like visiting a museum, then stopping in somewhere for an ice cream.

It seems your hike into the mountains 42 years ago, which ended with dinner at the hotel worked out well for you, and is a happy memory. That's fine, and I can understand it - but don't try to recapture it by doing the same thing now with someone new. That seldom if ever works.
 
Something that involves going for a drive is often helpful when getting to know someone, discussing difficult subjects, etc…

There is something about being in a closed private space and not having to make eye contact that makes conversation easier for some reason.

The destination isn’t really as important as the drive.
 
Bretrick said:
How can you solidify the "Relationship" that little bit more.
Click to expand...

I'd rather think of the relationship as something to be further explored rather than solidified. I haven't had so many intimate relationships that there is one settled form I want them to take. Being open to what this relationship is and can be is what matters, I think.
 
Aunt Bea said:
Something that involves going for a drive is often helpful when getting to know someone, discussing difficult subjects, etc…

There is something about being in a closed private space and not having to make eye contact that makes conversation easier for some reason.

The destination isn’t really as important as the drive.
Click to expand...
I've found this works very well with teenagers, too.
 
My late husband and I got married after our second date.

It's not as exciting as it sounds. We had two dates and then were on opposite coasts for nine months. We courted by phone and mail. He came home and we got married. Badda-boom.

I did a lot of dating when I started dating a few years after he died. I did get proposed to once on a FIRST date and once on a SECOND date. I guess some people are really desperate to not be alone.
 
A great thread. I applaud you sticking with it.

I have no advice because I've given this a lot of thought in recent years (documented on this site elsewhere) and I have concluded two things. 1) I have no idea how to date someone in 2025; 2) I'm undateable.

I want to be a home body. I have spent a life fast paced, traveling, embracing change. I have arrived at a place where the last thing I need is adventure. I'm not particularly interesting, and everything I've done is just that - done. I want to be home, I want to just be. That doesn't make for an interesting date. :D
 

You must log in or register to reply here.

Back
Top