What Would Your Personal Ad Say?

fureverywhere

fureverywhere

beloved friend who will always be with us in spiri
Location
Northern NJ, USA
Now here's an interesting creative writing exercise. The discussion of online dating got me thinking about profiles. For the relatively short time I was on match, one of the hardest parts was writing an introduction. There are so many clichés...moonlight walks, fine dining, weekends at flea markets...zzzzzzz

I finally figured out something halfway decent, but now ten years later I know myself better. I'm also confident enough to have a bit of fun with it. One of my favorite people I met online had written the "anti-profile". It was to the effect of...I hate moonlight walks just like I hate people sitting in the corner gnawing on The Da Vinci Code, I enjoy polite political discourse as well as scathing sarcasm.
We didn't hit it off in person, but matched each other in writing skill.

So if you were to write your dating profile today, what would you say? Married or single, just for fun...it takes some thought.
 

I wouldn't have a clue tbh...I would hope it would be something witty and out of the norm..but never having joined a dating site, I'd be hard pressed to think of something..
 
I've got a copy of the ad I had that my husband replied to. Not typical ad as it was aimed at the Irish, being adventurous, kayaking, nature lover, making the second half of our lives the best (I was 47 at the time).
 

Let me see I was thinking a bit while exercising today
Seeking Single Gentleman Over 60
Do you know your way around a Remington and Marlin?
Do you wish we could bring back Ronnie Reagan so we could have a real leader again?
Have you ever dipped?
Can you skin a buck and run a trout line?
Are you humming that tune right now?
Do you have a dress plaid shirt?
Do you have a favorite camo jacket?
Do you have more than one favorite camo jacket?
How many natural teeth do you still have? No, that doesn't matter I was just funnin' you

If you answered yes to any of the above you can just skip on to the next ad...now go on, git!

My dream date would be coffee in a bookshop with Bernie Sanders:)
 
That's how I met my hubby in 1986 I didn't have much choice I lived in a small country town 25 km out of town ...He lived in Whyalla ..about 7 hours drive away ..( not sure how far it is without the help of Mr Google) I still have the letter he sent me and the add ..It involved me putting an add in the south Aust newspaper where I was given a box number at the newspaper office to anyone to respond to my add I received 125 replies of course some of them were downright discusting, it was all confidential ..Relpies were then forwarded onto me via post to sort thorough that's as all before the Internet ..
 
I had a thought for one more question
In the last year you have read
A 0 books
B 1 book...the bible don't be counting here
C 10-15 books
D 15-30 books
E 30-50 books
F Over 50 books

Now that would be a trick question, I am an avid reader, if somebody was lying I would know. Also my hubby, whom I love to pieces probably has never read a book cover to cover in his life...well cookbooks maybe, he's an awesome chef. But that's okay. He's always been more than happy to listen to my gushing over the most recent books I'm enjoying.


I also had another thought. I could imagine one of my really nasty uncles answering my ad. Boy doesn't read so good..." Heck I thought that list was what you were lookin' fur." EWWWWWWWW
 
Wanted, mature and attractive lady who enjoys a hard days work of housework and yard work. Good cook. Does laundry, cleans the house, runs errands, and mows the grass. Performs all inside housework in the buff. Your willingness to work and clean will allow my beautiful wife who has put up with me for almost 50 years to have an honest vacation. As far as doing housework in the buff... Well, now that Playboy Magazine no longer has centerfolds.......:):)
 
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Oh, this was supposed to be an ad about myself.... Okay...

69 year old male in excellent physical condition. Spends most every free moment on the golf course. Has worked hard his entire life and now considering retirement. Looking for the perfect lady to share the rest of my life with, knowing she is not out there. Why? Because that perfect lady has put up with me for almost 50 years and I don't plan on her going anywhere soon!!
 
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Wahooo Grumpy, that's like my hubby. For all his faults he is my life and soul mate. Callie my boy dog...well we just won't go there. Okay if there was a fire I would have BOTH of them over my shoulders.
 
54-year-old retired Army Captain female, with 8 cats and one large dog. I work at Walmart as a customer service manager, so you will not EVER win.

Make sure you have a good health insurance plan, a job or retirement, and don't frighten easily. You must be financially independent; my crawlspace is nearly full of freeloaders. Just saying. My contact information is Pookie@CrazyCatLady.com.

Good luck on competing with my husband, who hasn't made it to the crawlspace yet.

Have a nice day! :)


How's that?
 
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Like a finely aged wine, this woman pairs well with a content, confident and kind man. She has a robust sense of humor, with hints of the macabre and warped. She brings to the table a lust for life and still can enjoy a good adventure. She isn't her happiest corked up into a bottle, preferring to be outdoors and is enjoyed best around the campfire or travelling abroad. Cheese, Bitterness, and weak essence of fruitiness need not apply.
 
Professional retired breadman, :rolleyes: teeth in good shape, (all 10 of them) slight hair loss, ha ha), a bit over weight, (whale), young at heart, (has Afib), happy go lucky, (this is pretty true), and highly educated, (graduation first in his 5 grade class.)
Call: BR-549. When the bartender answers, just ask for Pappy.
 
Looking for single gent over 80, preferably closer to 90.
A sense of humour, computer literate, and wide range of interests.
Walker, cane, or other OK!
 
Looking for single gent over 80, preferably closer to 90.
A sense of humour, computer literate, and wide range of interests.
Walker, cane, or other OK!

I like this one...but nah I want a fella who can limp as fast as I can;).
 

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