Woohoo! My peeps are coming back tonight so I get to go home!
I know how you feel. I house/dog sit frequently for my sister, up to two weeks at a time. One of her dogs is the Devil Incarnate, so I'm ALWAYS ready to go home. I'm usually DESPERATE to go home.
Typical day in the life of the Debbil Dog:
I want out.
I want back in.
I want out.
I want back in.
You really didn't like those shoes, did you?
I know I indicated that I wanted out, but now that you're here at the door, I've decided I don't want to go out.
Yes, I've been barking at the door for three minutes but I really don't want to come in. Just wanted to see if you were awake.
You know, your slippers actually look better with the toes torn off. Big improvement.
I want out.....oh, changed my mind.
I want in. And then I'm going to want out again in two minutes.
Hey, look, I learned how to open the refrigerator door!!! Don't you like what I've done to the kitchen?
I want out....oops, too late. I've already peed in the hall.
Yeah, I figured you really didn't want THOSE shoes, either.
There's someone at the end of the driveway! It's the mailman! He's here to kill us! I'm going to bark wildly until he goes away!
There's someone walking their dog down the street! They're here to kill us! If I bark for five minutes, they will go away! See, I saved you.
There's someone throwing a newspaper in the driveway! It's the paperboy! He's here to kill us! I'll protect you by tearing the screen and barking at him!
Why, yes indeed, I DO have your underwear hanging from my muzzle... Have I been in your room? Who me?
Hey, it's snowing! OK, actually it's that cushion that used to be on the couch, but it LOOKS like snow. Isn't it fun? You don't have to thank me, really you don't.
I want out at midnight so I can bark like an flaming idiot at absolutely nothing and wake up the neighbors. And, no, I'm not planning on coming in unless you come out and lure me with a nice tasty dog bone. Oh, you just stepped in a pile of something disgusting at the bottom of the steps? Well, you should have been watching where you were walking, knowwhatimean?
Oh, THOSE shoes? I have absolutely no idea how they got in that condition. You really should take better care of your things.
The phone is ringing. Someone is calling to make an appointment to come over and kill us. I will bark at it until it stops ringing. If it rings again, I will chew it to pieces.
That pile of plastic pieces? Oh, just the television remote. You can get up and change the channel manually.....you need the exercise, if you don't mind me saying.
Hey, it's six a.m., the sun is shining. Did I wake you? Oh, sorry. Well, now that you're awake, how about breakfast and a walk? Oh, THOSE shoes?
(AND PEOPLE WONDER WHY I DON'T HAVE A DOG...)