When do you consider it a date, as opposed to just hanging out together?

bobcat

bobcat

Well-known Member
Location
Northern Calif
What are the criteria?
If he says would you like to go to a concert, baseball game, catch a movie, or get something to eat, go dancing; is it a date?
Or does it need to be proceeded by the words: "Would you like to go out with me?"
 

bobcat said:
If he says would you like to go to a concert, baseball game, catch a movie, or get something to eat, go dancing; is it a date?
Click to expand...
I would say it's not a date, just a platonic friendship.

He would have to ask, "Would you go on a date with me," before I would consider it a date.

My hubby's buddy asked me if I'd like to ride up to NY with him, to the Indian reservation. I decline, but only considered it as a friend asking me to ride along.
 
bobcat said:
What are the criteria?
If he says would you like to go to a concert, baseball game, catch a movie, or get something to eat, go dancing; is it a date?
Or does it need to be proceeded by the words: "Would you like to go out with me?"
Click to expand...
If you want to clarify things, don't go anywhere just one-on-one with a woman unless you have intentions of it getting to be more.

If you want to go dancing, you have to have an entourage of dancing friends who meet up as a group.
 

If he asks her, "Would you like to go to a concert, baseball game, catch a movie or get something to eat, or go dancing", he is asking her to go out on a date with him and if she accepts, it's a date. It might be a platonic date, but it's a date nonetheless. Saying specifically, "Would you like to go out on a date with me", implies that you might have romantic intentions.
 
If you’re paying, it’s probably a date. Three or four times it would be friendship, then it’s moving into date territory.

This is a really tough question for seniors to know the answer. A granddaughter was spending lots of time with a guy. Her mother wanted to know if he was a boyfriend. The daughter didn’t really know. Finally the mother asked him and got a yes. Who pays. I think they both do. It’s not even easy for teens to know.
 
If somebody I didn’t know very well asked me out, I would consider it a date but I have 4 long term platonic friendships with men I see regularly and never consider it dating wherever we go, I always pay my own way, same as with my female friends

(Definitely no physical contact MarciKS) ! :eek::LOL::ROFLMAO:
 
Does semantics really matter, Bob? You want to go somewhere or attend an event with someone, just ask. Won't change a thing what you call it, ya know? You'll go, you'll [hopefully!] have a good time.... and when it's over, it won't really matter what you labeled it, right? (y)
 
I am with Wren on this subject as have had two long platonic relationships with men who have similar interests that I have. If they take me out to dinner, I do not consider it a date. And I often pay the restaurant bill myself. They are great friends to have.

I found this site by googling senior forums that were not senior dating forums.

I met another widow one day, a few years ago , in a waiting room somewhere, the same age as me ,and she said she had 17 dates since her husband died about 2 years before that day. She was at a senior dating site since he died, and had asked 17 men ,within about a 40-50 mile radius from her home, to come to her home for dinner, over those 2 years.

They all showed up but none of them ever contacted her again and she said one man was so old he could barely get out of his car and told her he could not climb the 4 concrete steps to her house so she had to bring him a platter of food as he sat on the first step. She said another man only talked about sex as he ate a large meal she had prepared for him.

I would never ask a stranger from a dating site ,or from anywhere, to come to my home. I can understand she is lonely but I am sure loneliness affects all of us bereaved people.

I am in a coffee klatch club every week, mainly seniors, and there are many seniors in my church. And I sure enjoy this site, where you are all so unique and understand how important it is for us seniors to share the challenges that come with aging and there is great advice here as well!
 
I don't look at dates as having a romantic relationship. So imo I can go on a date with anyone anywhere. That's just the way I see it t this point in time.
 
Seems that, even if slightly embarrassing, it would be easier to just ask. Does he have romantic/sexual intentions, or is it just a friendly meal/whatever? (Although I'd use other words.)

I mean, why get yourself all wound up over it if it's just a friendly meal together?
 
Yeah- that happened to a single friend of mine- her single neighbor needed a ride to and from work one day, and she gave him the rides, and then he asked her out to dinner when his car was fixed ,because he was so grateful for her help that day.

She apparently thought it was a date and got "all wound up" over it, with a sudden crush on him, but he never asked her out again.
 
bobcat said:
If he says would you like to go to a concert, baseball game, catch a movie, or get something to eat, go dancing; is it a date?
Or does it need to be proceeded by the words: "Would you like to go out with me?"
Click to expand...

If there's that lovely 'spark' going on between us or 'pull towards each other' - it's a date.

If there's no 'spark' or 'pull towards each other' but a genuine feeling of friendship between us - it's an evening out because we enjoy each others company

Simples :giggle:
 
If a man asked me out I would consider it a date unless he made it very clear that it was not.

If I declined it might simply be because I don't want to date, and not because I don't like him.

My suggestion would be to be very clear when the invitation is issued.
 

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