When "So Long" Becomes "Goodbye"

fmdog44

fmdog44

Well-known Member
Location
Houston, Texas
Me and some friends are all 70 yrs. old. I have not seen them in 40 years. I think about seeing them but saying so long and returning to my state would mean saying "goodbye" because we are not getting any younger. The moment to me would be awkward when we are splitting up and going back to our states. I really think it would be best to avoid it. How would you feel?
 

If you want to see them and enjoy their company, go for it. You will have those memories someday when the final "goodbye" happens.

When my parents became elderly and in poor health, it was very emotional to leave them when I got to visit. (They lived 800 miles away.) But I am so glad for those last few visits where I got to hear their voices and enjoy being with them.
 
I would not feel too good about a goodbye. What about emails, phone calls now and then, etc? That's how I communicate with old friends in my home state of Connecticut.
 

Perhaps they also feel the same way. Let's face it though, none of us has any guarantees. We could be in a car accident, have an unexpected terminal diagnosis, have a plane fly into the building where we are working. It is so easy for all of our so longs to be permanent goodbyes. So I'd say if these are people you'd like to see again, do it. It would be better than spending the rest of your days wishing you had.
 
Well, if one of these old friends did pass away, you wouldn't regret not having visited him/her again one last time when you could have? As dkay said, none of us are promised another day. We should be all living like there's no tomorrow anyway.
 
Be sure to visit if possible. You don't want to feel you missed any chance to see them. I've got some friends that I hadn't seen in 30-40 years and finally, I got a chance to visit some of them. Me... I just said so long and if I don't see you again soon, then I'll see you on the other side. :) I felt bad because 3 of my good friends passed before I got to see them.
 
You need to decide which would be worse, regretting that you had not seen them one more time or wishing you hadn't. If you did see them again, then at least you should be left with good memories.
 
We mention when we are with old friends or relatives that this might be the last time we see each other. I hear my husband saying that on the phone to old friends he talks to. One right now in Okla going to a heart hospital. I don't see anything wrong with mentioning our mortality. Cry or hug if you want or just say "Hopefully we'll see each other in the hereafter sometime". My cousin who lives about 75 miles from me often says on the phone that we should get together in case it's our last chance. She visited me about 5 years ago and I haven't made it to her house yet.
 
Falcon said:
I don't like the word "GOODBYE". It sounds so permanent. I prefer, "See ya later", or some such thing.
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I have a friend, that when he’s ready to go, he just turns and leaves

Not a hand in the air as he strolls away or nuthin’

I used to feel a bit weird about it, but it’s kinda grown on me
 
Found this poet's book the other day. I stood there reading and I fell in love with it.
I thought this particular poem of his fits this topic.

We will die unfinished.
There will be more to do,
to see, say, touch, and love.
There are places we won't visit
and love we haven't made,
there are outbursts of laughter
unshared and tears
that will never fall.
Some plans, some grandeur
mapped out in the middle of us,
will expire quietly,
silent deaths that not a soul
understands. We will pass
incomplete, know this, hear it
and recite it like gospel, like
a mantra of understanding:
We will die unfinished.
Still we must try, we must do,
see, say, touch, and love.
We must find the places and
make the love, explode into
a million fragments of laughter
and weep unashamed. We
must find the adventure,
the grandeur, before all this goes, and all that
arrives.

Tyler Knott Gregson
Wildly into the dark - typewriter poems
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Thanks to Facebook, I’ve reconnected with most of my classmates and others. So glad I did. I’ve yet made it to a reunion, but that’s my own choosing. I’d say go if you want.
 
I like that poem Olivia. It makes me think of something I read once. When we come into life we are walking in on a movie already started and we'll walk out before the movie is finished. It makes sense to me.
 
70 isn’t that old these day with many people still active into their 80’s and 90’s so, would it definately mean saying goodbye ?

After the initial reunion, as long as it went well, I think I would arrange to meet up once a year for as long as possible, keeping in touch with Skype and e mails etc. between times

Personally I don’t like the word Goodbye, I usually hug and say “Take care”
 
My sister and I have cousins who are very ill and we have not seen in years. I plan to visit my sister soon and we plan on visiting the cousins as I have connected with then on FB but sister does not do social media so I send her email with pics of them and their activities. I will fly into the city where they live and my sister will pick me up there and we will take them to lunch. Really looking forward to it. It will be a goodbye for me to them but I will not make it so to them. But I know the next time I see them will be at their funerals.
 
What an important topic - thanks for the food for thought, FM.

Ohh Olivia, I do like that poem. Also Linda's movie metaphor. As with Debbie, I've reconnected with many former classmates. Although I live 3000 miles from most of them about 15 of us keep up with each other through frequent emails and annual visits. Some of us meet up in other places - Las Vegas, for one. Airline tickets are truly not that expensive and life is short. Why not grab the opportunity at joy as they present themselves?

FM, why so certain that this reunion will be a one-and-done? Your group may have such a great time reconnecting that you decide to meet again very soon.
 
I know a couple that refuse to say the word "goodbye" to each other ever. They were highschool sweethearts & been married since a few year after highschool.
 

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