When to move on when you're widowed.

S

Shamhat

New Member
I'm a widow. I don't carry a torch for my most excellent husband. He had cancer and suffered so much that I was grateful to God when he drew his last breath. We were magic together. He was the type of husband who took care of everything. He didn't take charge though. He would explain things and we would discuss options. Each of us were financially secure...I still am even though I only have what I earned. His inheritance went to his children as it should.

Here's my problem. He died in 2000. I've been in limbo since he died. I don't have a car because he's not here to choose the right one. I don't make any investments because he's not here to talk it over with me. I have major self doubts. He was such a strong, reliable, knowledgable man. I'm strong, reliable and knowledgable too, but in different areas.

I want a car. What do I do? I want a cheap used car. Any suggestions?
 

Shamhat, Think of the person you think knows the most about car, maybe a relative, someone you think has you best interest in mind. Most guys want to show off their knowledge about the subject, and would be proud that you asked. Tell that person what you want, and that you need them to recommend a good auto mechanic. Don't be shy to ask more than one person's help. But take someone, salesmen love to see women without a clue walk up to them.
 
I can understand the problem, my aunty felt exactly the same way when her hubby passed away.
Are the children old enough to be able to advise on what car to buy?
 

First off, I want to thank you Ina and Fern. My only male relative here in the states is my son. he knows less about cars than I do unfortunately. I went to the BBB (Better Business Bureau) site today. they have some tips I need to study up on. This may be just what I need to reactivate the gray matter that was once my brain.
 
I don't normally give much advice, especially when it comes to spending other people's money, but if it's a worry to you that you may end up buying a fixer upper, then I do have just a suggestion. I don't know how much money you are spending, but if you buy a GM "certified" vehicle, which is a used car, you will also receive a free, 12 month. 12,000 mile bumper to bumper warranty. Please keep in mind that it must be a 2009 or newer. You will also receive a -$0- deductible, if repairs are needed, free oil changes during the warranty period and free roadside service.

I bought my wife a 2012 GM car about 2 months ago and so far no issues. She has put about 1700 miles on it and it purrs like a kitten. (I hope that I didn't jinx the car.)
 
I would never buy anything from GM. They not only took a taxpayer handout they are having to recall nearly everything they make, many for dangerous conditions. I'm glad yours is doing good oldman but I wouldn't chance it.


You can get the same deal or better from Ford or most any auto company.

But as to the original question I would definitely take someone with me in your case since you've never bought a car before. maybe a neighbor or friend from work?
 
rkunsaw said:
I would never buy anything from GM. They not only took a taxpayer handout they are having to recall nearly everything they make, many for dangerous conditions. I'm glad yours is doing good oldman but I wouldn't chance it.


You can get the same deal or better from Ford or most any auto company.

But as to the original question I would definitely take someone with me in your case since you've never bought a car before. maybe a neighbor or friend from work?
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GM had fewer 'cars and trucks' recalled than Chrysler, Ford, Toyota and Honda. Toyota was number one. (Stats are from the NTSB) GM may had had more recalls, but it effected fewer vehicles than the others.
 
Check Consumer Reports Used Car Guide. I don't remember how much it costs to join Consumer Reports...maybe $20 or so? Go to consumerreports.org Keep in mind that a URL that ends in ".org" indicates a non-profit. In other words, they have no financial or other interest in the products they test.

Also keep in mind, that even the "best" used cars can sprout a lemon from time to time. Once you've decided on a car that suits you, ask around among friends/neighbors about a trusted auto mechanic and take it for a once-over. I have no idea what the cost is for that...maybe in the $100-$150 range? It will be money well spent to feel confident that you've got a car that hasn't been run into the ground or beaten half to death!

Don't go alone to a car dealer, and don't let anybody sell you anything you don't need (an extended warranty, for instance).
 
If you have a trusted friend who knows something about cars, have them go along with you. And if you can afford one that still has some warranty left on the car, that is the way to go imo. I do that when buying preowned. Gives you a few months to get any problems worked out on their dime. Of course the car will cost more than let's say a 5 year old one. You can find some good older cars, but you really need someone that knows a lot about cars to help you.
 
Those are for 2014. The year isn't over, so the members may be skewed and are always adjusted. For the final 2013 numbers, From autonews.com, which is the watchdog for all manufacturers, this is what I found..
  1. GM issued 23 recalls in 2013, the second most in the industry after Chrysler; but those recalls covered just 757,677 vehicles, fewer than Ford,Chrysler, Honda, Toyota, Nissan or Hyundai-Kia, all of which sell fewer cars and trucks than GM.

  2. [h=3]Toyota leads in recalls again in 2013.[/h]
    As for GM being a joke, really? Ford outsold Toyota in 2013. GM is making a comeback, but very slowly. More so than expected. I am not into name-calling. so I won't go that route, but I never understood what the big fascination with Honda ever was? Being a motorhead all my life, I think there is very little doubt that the engines designed and built in America have always been superior. Honda has put a lot of buttons and whistles on their cars and that seems to attract buyers. As I have always noticed, Japan was never a innovator, but more of a duplicator.

    Before I became a pilot, I was an engineer for GM in Cleveland at their Fisher Body Plant in engineering and then I moved onto Michigan and worked in their motor plant as an engineer, but only for a very short time before resigning and going to flight school. I can tell you that a lot of hard work and attentiveness to detail went into building their engines and transmissions, but I never felt that the auto business and engineering in particular was what I wanted to do the rest of my life. I built my own drag car while in high school and college and then sold that for the money. I always had a love for flying and when I got out of the Marines and while working at GM one day. I just said to myself that I am going to flight school. My parents supported me and my decision and the rest is history.
 
Shamhat, you have to move on . I'm a recent widow, and had all vehicle purchases made by my husband too. .. never gave it any thought until he died. I then sold his SUV (payments and all) ... easy choice.
As suggested, get some help from someone you trust.

I'm on the verge of buying my own car for the first time in many, many years. I believe I will buy new though, and I'm looking at either Ford, which has given me years of good car history, or maybe a Honda. .. my grown kids all have their own opinions, but I'm making my own decision on this one. .. it's been so long, I'm looking forward to it!


And, an aside ..... Never had any problems with Ford .. cars or trucks.

I would not go near anything GM now. ..
back in the 60's/70's/80's I loved Pontiacs ...Firebird/Fiero/TransAm/Bonneville.
Had them all at one time or another. But I would not consider anything that they are selling now.. JMO
 
There are probably as many opinions of any particular vehicle on the road as there are people driving them!

In "car school" we joked that Ford was for Found On Road Dead and GMC stood for Great Mountain Climber. Chrysler was known as the "engineer's company" and a good many of the brands we have today hadn't even been thought of yet.

The Used Car Buyer's Guide from Consumer Reports rates year/make/model and shows frequency of repair of all their moving parts. IIRC, there's also a New Car Buyer's Guide.
 
Again, thank you all for your help. Senior Forum is AWESOME! I don't have a trusted anybody (where did the italics come from). All I have here is my son who is really smart, but car dumb. Just like me. Your input is so needed and appreciated. My concerns are VIN alterations and flood vehicles. Also buying a clunker. I will read up on all the pointers above and I will emerge victorious thank you! After being a loner for so long, I'm really grateful to you all. So kiss kiss and hug hug and stuff.
 
Shamhat said:
Again, thank you all for your help. Senior Forum is AWESOME! I don't have a trusted anybody (where did the italics come from). All I have here is my son who is really smart, but car dumb. Just like me. Your input is so needed and appreciated. My concerns are VIN alterations and flood vehicles. Also buying a clunker. I will read up on all the pointers above and I will emerge victorious thank you! After being a loner for so long, I'm really grateful to you all. So kiss kiss and hug hug and stuff.
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One thing you can do is if you find a car you are interested in, you can go to carfax.com and input the vin number and get a history. It will tell you if the car has been in a flood. Atleast it is suppose to. Cost about $20.

Buying from Carmax is a good idea. No haggle price and they are suppose to have a good reputation.
 
There are reputable used car dealers around, who will give you a fair deal, with warranty and everything you need. Research if there's a consumer advocate in your area, or a listing of ratings of various dealers. There's a radio host in my state who makes it clear which businesses it's safe to deal with and which aren't. A good dealer will have a history on the car, and have it in top working condition for you. Many have set prices on their vehicles, so there's no haggling.

Try to find a dealer that owns all the vehicles on their lot, that makes it even safer for you. Good luck! We buy Chrysler/Dodge vehicles, and been happy with them for years. But it doesn't matter what you buy, we had a Honda Accord years back that was the most reliable car, and a pleasure to drive. It only had front-wheel drive, but was fine in snowy conditions. I wouldn't buy anything but a front wheel or four wheel drive, to travel on dirt roads, and in winter weather conditions.
 
Jackie22 said:
CarMax here in Texas has a very good reputation with used cars, not sure if they are located in other states.
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They are in a lot of states, that's for sure and they have a 3 or 5 day return policy. The price on the windshield is what you pay. They call it "No Hassle Buying."
 
You are in the same position that my soon to be divorced wife will be in when Our divorce is final. I am 80 and she is 70 but I do or did, all the things that your husband did and despite the fact that she has her own assets I am concerned for future well being.
 
I know that if I try to purchase a vehicle alone, I will probably be taken for a ride (couldn't resist). In this situation, I believe women are more likely to be victimized than men. Doesn't feel too good at all.
 
Shamhat, I don't know much about buying cars, but I bought a Hounda (sp?) July 2013. They are made in Montgomery. It had less than 2,000 miles on it and was just what I was looking for. I checked the trunk underneath the mat to make sure there were no evidence of water damage (rust or dampness). Before I did that, I had gone on line and ck'ed car prices, gas mileage, and so forth. There are sites that tell you all of this
about the makes and models. Be sure to test drive the car and take it to a trusty mechanic to look it over.
 

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