JaniceM
Well-known Member
- Location
- still lost between two shores..
Sorry I'm having difficulty with this laptop.. meant
That really sucks.
When you was in trouble as a kid , what was your punishment ?
- Thread starter charry
- Start date
That really sucks.
hollydolly
SF VIP
- Location
- London England
Very similar here.. As a teen... I was once locked out of the house at midnight with snow on the ground wearing only a short sleeve thin dress.. my brother wanted to throw a blanket out of the window but he was told he'd get a belting if he did... so I almost froze to death by the time the door was opened to me at 8am...then I was supposed to go to work
The first time I can remember being beaten I was 4 years old.. my crime...?.. being late home for dinner, we were told to be home for a certain time.. ( yes 4 years old and playing outside with no adult supervision) I couldn't tell the time and I was told I had to ask a stranger. can you believe that, given I;d been abducted by a stranger from the streets when I was 2 years old?... anyway by the time I found someone to ask I was 5 minutes late.. he beat me so hard.. I couldn't stand up..
At 15 he kicked me so hard he broke my back.. that was for simply being in the way of the golden child sister
..he kept padlocks on the fridge and the food cupboards, and we'd go without food for up to 3 days and we'd have to beg him for it in tears .. and we'd be allowed one egg ..or a slice of toast
No-one ever believes me about the latter, but my first husband as my boyfriend saw it first hand, and just the other day we were talking about it..
JaniceM
Well-known Member
- Location
- still lost between two shores..
I believe you. and I'm sure other people here will, too.Very similar here.. As a teen... I was once locked out of the house at midnight with snow on the ground wearing only a short sleeve thin dress.. my brother wanted to throw a blanket out of the window but he was told he'd get a belting if he did... so I almost froze to death by the time the door was opened to me at 8am...then I was supposed to go to work
The first time I can remember being beaten I was 4 years old.. my crime...?.. being late home for dinner, we were told to be home for a certain time.. ( yes 4 years old and playing outside with no adult supervision) I couldn't tell the time and I was told I had to ask a stranger. can you believe that, given I;d been abducted by a stranger from the streets when I was 2 years old?... anyway by the time I found someone to ask I was 5 minutes late.. he beat me so hard.. I couldn't stand up..
At 15 he kicked me so hard he broke my back.. that was for simply being in the way of the golden child sister
..he kept padlocks on the fridge and the food cupboards, and we'd go without food for up to 3 days and we'd have to beg him for it in tears .. and we'd be allowed one egg ..or a slice of toast
No-one ever believes me about the latter, but my first husband as my boyfriend saw it first hand, and just the other day we were talking about it..
Been There
Well-known Member
- Location
- Florida
If your father is still alive did you ever confront him with what he did to you when you were younger?
iksentrik
Member
My brother, the youngest, got maybe half a dozen really bad beatings.
My sister, the middle, got 2 spankings (bare hand on the butt).
I got a beating probably weekly, more if I didn't keep my mouth shut.
Very similar here.. As a teen... I was once locked out of the house at midnight with snow on the ground wearing only a short sleeve thin dress.. my brother wanted to throw a blanket out of the window but he was told he'd get a belting if he did... so I almost froze to death by the time the door was opened to me at 8am...then I was supposed to go to work
The first time I can remember being beaten I was 4 years old.. my crime...?.. being late home for dinner, we were told to be home for a certain time.. ( yes 4 years old and playing outside with no adult supervision) I couldn't tell the time and I was told I had to ask a stranger. can you believe that, given I;d been abducted by a stranger from the streets when I was 2 years old?... anyway by the time I found someone to ask I was 5 minutes late.. he beat me so hard.. I couldn't stand up..
At 15 he kicked me so hard he broke my back.. that was for simply being in the way of the golden child sister
..he kept padlocks on the fridge and the food cupboards, and we'd go without food for up to 3 days and we'd have to beg him for it in tears .. and we'd be allowed one egg ..or a slice of toast
No-one ever believes me about the latter, but my first husband as my boyfriend saw it first hand, and just the other day we were talking about it..
JaniceM
Well-known Member
- Location
- still lost between two shores..
Like one of my uncles used to say- most animals treat their young better than some parents do.
Tish
SF VIP
- Location
- Rural N.S.W. Australia
The Jug cord, man did it hurt.
I don't remember us having much punishment, I think thru kindergarten age there was a rare swat on the butt by my mom, but it didn't hurt. There was only one time my dad spanked my sister and I, and that was one hard swat for each of us and I resented it forever after.
I guess we were grounded when we were bad, but I only remember once being grounded and even then going to the school dance was allowed (which I think is why I remember it because even to my young stupid self it made no sense to be said to be grounded when the only thing I'd go to was allowed anyway - retrospectively I suppose my parents might have considered it a nice break for themselves).
There were rare huge consequence type punishments tho. When I sprayed my siblings with hot water while we were doing dishes I was forbidden to wash dishes anymore and had to do the whole family laundry instead forevermore. And once when I kept postponing laundry my mom punished me by saying I didn't get to do the laundry anymore, but an hour later my dad talked her out of that punishment and I got to do the laundry.
My parents were really into using reverse psychology on us, sometimes successfully I guess, because I was glad to be rescued from the punishment and get to do the laundry, ha ha. (Laundry was fun tho, because my dad would drop me and the laundry off at a laundrymat and that was fun to me and also there was a popcorn machine there, which I loved).
But once when I was 14 yrs old I went out for a walk around the block and didn't come home until 3 AM (met a boy on leave from the Navy and he had a motorcycle and invited me to go into the city to feed hippies; never occurred to me that anyone at home would worry where I was) and that time I was horribly punished by sending me off to live for a month at a relative's farm -- where it turned out there were chores (including learning to milk a cow, a fun experience) and I had to share a room with my idiot cousin and for a few weeks had to get up at 3 AM so we could be trucked into Iowa to detassel corn (not pleasant but a good life experience, plus it was my first paying job, woohoo!). But worst part of the punishment was my parents said I'd have to go to boarding school and sent me a pile of brochures. That turned out to be an idle threat tho.
I guess we were grounded when we were bad, but I only remember once being grounded and even then going to the school dance was allowed (which I think is why I remember it because even to my young stupid self it made no sense to be said to be grounded when the only thing I'd go to was allowed anyway - retrospectively I suppose my parents might have considered it a nice break for themselves).
There were rare huge consequence type punishments tho. When I sprayed my siblings with hot water while we were doing dishes I was forbidden to wash dishes anymore and had to do the whole family laundry instead forevermore. And once when I kept postponing laundry my mom punished me by saying I didn't get to do the laundry anymore, but an hour later my dad talked her out of that punishment and I got to do the laundry.
My parents were really into using reverse psychology on us, sometimes successfully I guess, because I was glad to be rescued from the punishment and get to do the laundry, ha ha. (Laundry was fun tho, because my dad would drop me and the laundry off at a laundrymat and that was fun to me and also there was a popcorn machine there, which I loved).
But once when I was 14 yrs old I went out for a walk around the block and didn't come home until 3 AM (met a boy on leave from the Navy and he had a motorcycle and invited me to go into the city to feed hippies; never occurred to me that anyone at home would worry where I was) and that time I was horribly punished by sending me off to live for a month at a relative's farm -- where it turned out there were chores (including learning to milk a cow, a fun experience) and I had to share a room with my idiot cousin and for a few weeks had to get up at 3 AM so we could be trucked into Iowa to detassel corn (not pleasant but a good life experience, plus it was my first paying job, woohoo!). But worst part of the punishment was my parents said I'd have to go to boarding school and sent me a pile of brochures. That turned out to be an idle threat tho.
I was an obedient kid so rarely got hit or disciplined for anything at home. At school the nuns would hit us for almost anything and I cried almost nonstop my first year there. Mom should never have had kids. She was controlling and psychologically evil. She knew I hated Catholic school so she told me if I didn't behave better she would send me away to a super strict Catholic school where I could only come home on holidays! I was terrified because my nana was my best friend when I was little and the thought of never seeing her gutted me.
Mom also knew I had beautiful long hair which people complimented me for. To punish me or control my behavior, she would drag me kicking and screaming to the hairdressers where they would give me the shortest haircut imaginable that would take YEARS to grow out during which time I felt so ugly and inhibited that I was practically dysfunctional. I've had serious trust issues my whole life because of this mistreatment. Luckily I grew tall like my dad and when I was thirteen and mom told me it was time for a haircut I stood up to her, looked down at her and said "NO." Needless to say I did whatever I wanted after that and still have long hair longer than waist length or I panic. I was lucky it turned out okay for me.
I was terrified because my nana was my best friend when I was little and the thought of never seeing her gutted me.Mom also knew I had beautiful long hair which people complimented me for. To punish me or control my behavior, she would drag me kicking and screaming to the hairdressers where they would give me the shortest haircut imaginable that would take YEARS to grow out during which time I felt so ugly and inhibited that I was practically dysfunctional. I've had serious trust issues my whole life because of this mistreatment. Luckily I grew tall like my dad and when I was thirteen and mom told me it was time for a haircut I stood up to her, looked down at her and said "NO." Needless to say I did whatever I wanted after that and still have long hair longer than waist length or I panic. I was lucky it turned out okay for me.
Murrmurr
SF VIP
- Location
- Sacramento, California
Alligatorob
SF VIP
Fielding Mellish in Bananas:
I had a good relationship with my parents... I think they hit me only once, actually, in my whole childhood. They, they, uh, started beating me on the 23rd of December in 1942, and stopped beating me in the late Spring of '44.
Would be funnier from a different source...
I had a good relationship with my parents... I think they hit me only once, actually, in my whole childhood. They, they, uh, started beating me on the 23rd of December in 1942, and stopped beating me in the late Spring of '44.
Would be funnier from a different source...
The not being believed was the hardest part for me. This has been a very difficult thread for me. I did not find out about Narcissistic Personality Disorder until eleven years ago. I had been subjected to one more outrageous abuse and my own children were buying into it. I think I had mentioned before that I walked away. That was the best and healthiest thing I have ever done, even if you don't understand. I started researching when I retired and was able to put a name to what was going on. Just being able to put a name to it and understand the dynamic helped. I had rather spend the rest of my life alone that to let that into my life again.Very similar here.. As a teen... I was once locked out of the house at midnight with snow on the ground wearing only a short sleeve thin dress.. my brother wanted to throw a blanket out of the window but he was told he'd get a belting if he did... so I almost froze to death by the time the door was opened to me at 8am...then I was supposed to go to work
The first time I can remember being beaten I was 4 years old.. my crime...?.. being late home for dinner, we were told to be home for a certain time.. ( yes 4 years old and playing outside with no adult supervision) I couldn't tell the time and I was told I had to ask a stranger. can you believe that, given I;d been abducted by a stranger from the streets when I was 2 years old?... anyway by the time I found someone to ask I was 5 minutes late.. he beat me so hard.. I couldn't stand up..
At 15 he kicked me so hard he broke my back.. that was for simply being in the way of the golden child sister
..he kept padlocks on the fridge and the food cupboards, and we'd go without food for up to 3 days and we'd have to beg him for it in tears .. and we'd be allowed one egg ..or a slice of toast
No-one ever believes me about the latter, but my first husband as my boyfriend saw it first hand, and just the other day we were talking about it..
JaniceM
Well-known Member
- Location
- still lost between two shores..
I agree- knowing there's a name for it put a lot into perspective.
Disgustedman
Senior Member
Just like my mother, except no wire hangers. But hot wheel tracks, belts, and she'd swing for the back, not butt.
Me too, I have had to take a couple of breaks. You are not alone.
hollydolly
SF VIP
- Location
- London England
Come away from this thread all you fellow abused human beings.. we've explained our positions.. lets' not upset ourselves any more by rereading this thread... 
IKE
Well-known Member
- Location
- Oklahoma....U.S.A.
Spanked with a belt and leather shaving strop at home big wooden paddle at school.
I'll be the first to admit that I was pretty wild and not a very good kid........got into so much trouble and got so many spankings growing that my butt stayed red and looked like this tomato darn near all the time.
I'll be the first to admit that I was pretty wild and not a very good kid........got into so much trouble and got so many spankings growing that my butt stayed red and looked like this tomato darn near all the time.
a rare spanking... NOT a "beating" by any means. we each had our own paddle ball... once the rubber band broke. my sister's never got used... after all she was "the baby". mine was in near mint condition. brother's... well, he wore out several.
now dad got creative with my brother. dad worked shift work so he slept on different schedules depending pm his shift. if brother was gonna be in solitary confinement (sent to his room), dad would have him sit in the dark to watch him sleep.
the worst thing was the lecture. if dad started a conversation with... "what am i supposed to say, that's nice?" you knew you were in for "torture". he said there was ONE time when he thought he was gonna do some physical damage to my sister. she was in HS. when he told the story, he swore i really couldn't remember WHAT she said or WHY he had the urge to slug her, but he knew he was gonna hurt her if he did... he walked away.
now dad got creative with my brother. dad worked shift work so he slept on different schedules depending pm his shift. if brother was gonna be in solitary confinement (sent to his room), dad would have him sit in the dark to watch him sleep.
the worst thing was the lecture. if dad started a conversation with... "what am i supposed to say, that's nice?" you knew you were in for "torture". he said there was ONE time when he thought he was gonna do some physical damage to my sister. she was in HS. when he told the story, he swore i really couldn't remember WHAT she said or WHY he had the urge to slug her, but he knew he was gonna hurt her if he did... he walked away.
For some "bad" things I did I got talked to and told not to do that. For other worse things I got hit with a belt. Like calling my mom a bitch. I was about 10 and heard my dad call her that during an argument. So when I got mad at her for something I called her that. I think I got the belt on 2 occasions.
My mother had expressed later that she felt very guilty for using the belt.
One time my dad repeatedly slapped me and pulled me up the basement stairs by my hair. All I was doing was looking at a magazine of nude sun bathers.
They accomplished putting the fear of them in me. I don't believe they new how to change/handle discipline. Well it was better to talk to me than hit me.
My mother had expressed later that she felt very guilty for using the belt.
One time my dad repeatedly slapped me and pulled me up the basement stairs by my hair. All I was doing was looking at a magazine of nude sun bathers.
They accomplished putting the fear of them in me. I don't believe they new how to change/handle discipline. Well it was better to talk to me than hit me.
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