Where are those Golden Years

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fltmrvr

New Member
Hello all. I am a 83 year old widow. My husband passed one and a half year’s ago. He died on our 63 anniversary. I miss him.
I have type 2 diabetes, use a cane my balance is poor, depressed and stressed feelung old and useless. Where are those Golden Years?
 

fltmrvr said:
Hello all. I am a 83 year old widow. My husband passed one and a half year’s ago. He died on our 63 anniversary. I miss him.
I have type 2 diabetes, use a cane my balance is poor, depressed and stressed feelung old and useless. Where are those Golden Years?
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Hopefully you will find comfort at the forum. I noticed you just joined. I'm a new member too, so I'm not the best to explain how to navigate the site. Typically, you will find new reading material daily, and you will most likely find some of the comments interesting. You need to observe the dates. You are awake late. It's nice to have a place to spend time in the wee hours of the morning if you are a night person. I fell into a night schedule when I traveled at night. I'm trying to get turned around, as my offline responsibilities need attention. I hope you enjoy the forum, and I look forward to reading your thoughts.
 
fltmrvr said:
Hello all. I am a 83 year old widow. My husband passed one and a half year’s ago. He died on our 63 anniversary. I miss him.
I have type 2 diabetes, use a cane my balance is poor, depressed and stressed feelung old and useless. Where are those Golden Years?
Click to expand...
I've wondered the same thing. On the plus side life can get much easier as we age and retire. For me, no more commuting or a pager at 3am, so I guess that's a plus. BTW, regarding your depression, there is an interesting medication for depression in some elderly -- Celexa or one of its generics. Might want to speak to your doctor about that, or some alternative.
 

I am sorry to hear of your loss, I am about 20 years younger but have been a widow more than 10 years already. It is going to be hard from now on, you have certain things about the way you planned your life to be and part of that , the major part of that has been taken away. He would not want you to be unhappy and struggle. He would want you to do the best you can, to enjoy everyday. Does not have to be anything great or grand, just having your morning coffee or tea (in my case a soft drink) look out enjoy nature, any wildlife you have. Immerse yourself in any hobbie you enjoy. try to stay as active as you can. Best wishes!
 
fltmrvr said:
Hello all. I am a 83 year old widow. My husband passed one and a half year’s ago. He died on our 63 anniversary. I miss him.
I have type 2 diabetes, use a cane my balance is poor, depressed and stressed feelung old and useless. Where are those Golden Years?
Click to expand...
Hi fitmrvr:
I'm a bit older than you and I find music helps me, those songs all take me back, there are some super music threads here too. 😊
Enjoy the forum, oh, and here's a big virtual hug. 🤗
 
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I'm so sorry for the loss of your husband, after 63 years you must have been like one person and not 2.. and feel like you;ve lost the literal other half of yourself. You're still grieving, and in pain... but we can help a little with that by being here whenever you want to chat.. about your past, about your husband, or about anything at all if you just wish to pass the time..

We have a mix of ages from 50 to 90 plus here.. , and mostly a very friendly and helpful forum... all from various parts of the world.. and in various stages of health

If you need any help to negotiate the forum in any way.. just ask, we'll be happy to help...we were all new once..:)
 
fltmrvr said:
Hello all. I am a 83 year old widow. My husband passed one and a half year’s ago. He died on our 63 anniversary. I miss him.
I have type 2 diabetes, use a cane my balance is poor, depressed and stressed feelung old and useless. Where are those Golden Years?
Click to expand...
Hello, Like some many have expressed, I am sorry for your loss. It is truly one of most difficult things we go through in our lives.
I would like to share with you an experience I had at the park I go to where I like to sit and read in the morning. A lot of us old folk go there and walk and visit. I met a woman and we started talking. She mentioned she had lost her husband a few years back and the process of grieving had been difficult. She said that she could only think about the loss in the beginning and it was very hard to deal with every day's even simple things. She told me she had finally gotten to where she now only thinks of the joy and love they shared and that it was no longer a place of pain but of gratefulness for all the years they had together. Then she said the most loving and selfless words I have ever heard. "I'm so glad he left first so he didn't have to go through what I had." She is a wonderful, happy and confident woman who I admire very much.
I have always believed that when someone leaves physically, something remains here with us. It may be what some call "spirit" or possibly the ingrained memories of our time together, I don't know. I do know that in my life the ones that have left us have always been present when I want to be with them.
I will end this with a oddly funny story regarding your question about where are the golden years. I needed my water heater repaired and while the young man that came to fix it was working we were having a conversation and I asked him the same question. He responded "I know" and then explained that he was a maintenance man at an assisted living facility and said "It's their under ware." Like I said oddly funny.
Stay strong, you are not alone, if nothing else you have all of us.
 
@fltmrvr BIG HI. HAPPY you found SF. We are full of sharing, support, caring and friendship here. So sorry for the loss of your beloved husband. The golden years are sometimes hard to see. Make yourself at home, maybe we can help make you feel the golden years are still around. ENJOY your time here.40FE3E0C-500E-4DC9-AA99-61A63848291B.jpeg
 
fltmrvr said:
Hello all. I am a 83 year old widow. My husband passed one and a half year’s ago. He died on our 63 anniversary. I miss him.
I have type 2 diabetes, use a cane my balance is poor, depressed and stressed feelung old and useless. Where are those Golden Years?
Click to expand...
Hi and welcome to SF. Sixty three years married is a major achievement, congratulations. Take your time in your grief, things will get better, in the meantime take time to enjoy the great outdoors, there is beauty all around, watch the birdlife, it is amazing what they do get up to. Take care.
 
You will find the most interesting people here and can have some fun. Be here frequently and post when you feel like it. I know how lonely you must feel and I never even came close to the number of years you had with your husband. A war intervened and I just never found anyone else who could measure up. Needless to say, I am pretty hard to please. But I had an infant to keep me busy and as a nurse was doubly busy. However, there are tons of suggestions you will receive here on how to occupy yourself and help you to keep the fondest memories of your marriage alive. 79197032_539173063626249_6000921640181956608_n.jpg
 
My condolences on the loss of your husband. How difficult it must've been to lose him on your anniversary! I don't even know you but can assure you that you are not useless. Find something that you love and do it often, even if it's just getting out in nature and enjoying its wonder. I temporarily walked with a cane when I was in my late 30's. I felt odd being so young with a cane but I was determined to continue doing field work though it took more time and effort. I had a bad knee that hurt like hell at that time and it felt like my lower leg was going to fall off sometimes. I'm diabetic too and I've suffered through atrial fibrillation that made me feel like I would die sometimes (literally). I was determined not to let that beat me either and thank God that was corrected in 2016. I've suffered terrible losses in the last couple of years, including my husband, one of my best friends, a first cousin and my beloved daughter-in-law (who was more like my daughter). I'm still healing from intense grief (it's a take one day at a time process..I'm sure you know) but still believe there are things to be grateful for and look forward to.

Depression, especially during these times is not uncommon, so you are not alone. I can honestly say that being on Senior Forum, interacting with the nice, interesting, funny, knowledgeable, supportive people here has helped a great deal. I enjoy it very much. I sincerely hope you find the same comfort and enjoyment that I have when coming here. If you perceive yourself as old, you will be. Do not label yourself as old. I'm wishing you the best so that The Golden Years will become a reality for you.

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