Where We Are Today is because of Choices

L

Lon

Well-known Member
Location
Central California
Irrespective of whether we grew up rich or poor or some where in between we are all in our present state of living because of choices that we have made in the past. We made a choice of a spouse, to smoke or not smoke, to drink or not drink, to save/invest/ or to spend, I am very fortunate to have made many more correct decisions during my life time than poor ones. I maintain that even in the present world in which we live, the unemployed, homeless, the incarcerated,poverty stricken all had choices to make and that their present state is possibly due to choices that they made or didn't make.
 
I'm inclined to agree that the condition we find ourself in is largely the result of the choices we make. My mother believed in people being lucky or unlucky, but I argued that luck or lack of it was down to the decisions we make when faced with any particular situation. Life is full of random and unpredictable events and how we handle them determines our future.
 
Maybe, but some folks had more/better opportunities than others. So I'm not so quick to cast a shadow on those who are less fortunate. We have no idea what choices they had. For example, growing up in America in the 50s was great if you were white, male and heterosexual. If you weren't all three of these, then you had fewer choices.

As for the homeless, I gather that about 1/3 of them have mental health issues (is that a choice?), another 1/3 have substance abuse issues (there is a large biological component to substance abuse, so it may or may not be the result of a choice) and the last 1/3 are just temporarily in a bad spot but will recover.
 
Sometimes being in the right place at the right time - or luck - has bearing on the outcome but personal choice is the main factor.

I believe life is a test. Winning isn't about the cards we're dealt but how we played the game.
 
I absolutely disagree. None of us are born with the same opportunities. Each of us are treated different by circumstance. Do you mean someone struck with terrible misfortune (health or otherwise) got there by "choice". I say you have been damned lucky Lon. I am happy for your luck but let's not suggest, as you have, that we fully control our destiny.
 
I agree with Hoot and Jim that not everyone has the save opportunities.
I also agree that life is about learning lessons and we aren’t all here to learn all the same lessons.
Its not the hand we are dealt as much as how we play the game that matters.
Some people turn lemons into lemonade and others just complain
 
Hoot N Annie said:
Maybe, but some folks had more/better opportunities than others. So I'm not so quick to cast a shadow on those who are less fortunate. We have no idea what choices they had. For example, growing up in America in the 50s was great if you were white, male and heterosexual. If you weren't all three of these, then you had fewer choices.

As for the homeless, I gather that about 1/3 of them have mental health issues (is that a choice?), another 1/3 have substance abuse issues (there is a large biological component to substance abuse, so it may or may not be the result of a choice) and the last 1/3 are just temporarily in a bad spot but will recover.
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I agree with this.
 
I'm thankful and a little bit surprised at how my life has turned out but I know how quickly that could all change on the way to the finish line.

“Win without boasting. Lose without excuse.”― Albert Payson Terhune
 
AZ Jim said:
I absolutely disagree. None of us are born with the same opportunities. Each of us are treated different by circumstance. Do you mean someone struck with terrible misfortune (health or otherwise) got there by "choice". I say you have been damned lucky Lon. I am happy for your luck but let's not suggest, as you have, that we fully control our destiny.
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Sorry Jim---Here again. I disagree. For example: I am a Prostate Cancer Survivor and a Non Hodgkin's Lymphoma Survivor. The big choices that I had to make re: each disease had a determining factor on where I am today.
 
AZ Jim said:
I absolutely disagree. None of us are born with the same opportunities. Each of us are treated different by circumstance. Do you mean someone struck with terrible misfortune (health or otherwise) got there by "choice". I say you have been damned lucky Lon. I am happy for your luck but let's not suggest, as you have, that we fully control our destiny.
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^^ This.
 
Lon said:
Sorry Jim---Here again. I disagree. For example: I am a Prostate Cancer Survivor and a Non Hodgkin's Lymphoma Survivor. The big choices that I had to make re: each disease had a determining factor on where I am today.
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You just don't get it Lon. Not everyone gets the same cards in this game of life. I could go into great detail about how things might have gone differently for you and things gone different but I shall not. But just consider all the many things that can boost some of us and destroy others. Fortune is NOT all choice...
 
AZ Jim said:
You just don't get it Lon. Not everyone gets the same cards in this game of life. I could go into great detail about how things might have gone differently for you and things gone different but I shall not. But just consider all the many things that can boost some of us and destroy others. Fortune is NOT all choice...
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I absolutely agree!!!
 
hoot n annie said:
maybe, but some folks had more/better opportunities than others. So i'm not so quick to cast a shadow on those who are less fortunate. We have no idea what choices they had. For example, growing up in america in the 50s was great if you were white, male and heterosexual. If you weren't all three of these, then you had fewer choices.

As for the homeless, i gather that about 1/3 of them have mental health issues (is that a choice?), another 1/3 have substance abuse issues (there is a large biological component to substance abuse, so it may or may not be the result of a choice) and the last 1/3 are just temporarily in a bad spot but will recover.
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i agree
 
Lon said:
Irrespective of whether we grew up rich or poor or some where in between we are all in our present state of living because of choices that we have made in the past. We made a choice of a spouse, to smoke or not smoke, to drink or not drink, to save/invest/ or to spend, I am very fortunate to have made many more correct decisions during my life time than poor ones. I maintain that even in the present world in which we live, the unemployed, homeless, the incarcerated,poverty stricken all had choices to make and that their present state is possibly due to choices that they made or didn't make.
Click to expand...

My goodness. What about children who were abused sexually, physically, and/or emotionally for years? That level of trauma has life long effects. Even counselling has limits. Many damaged children turn to substance abuse in their adult years as an attempt to cope with unimaginable pain, as do the mentally ill, vets suffering from PTSD. Often this can lead to homelessness,

incarceration, etc. Not all the homeless, vets, children, mentally ill etc, are substance abusers, some have no place to go. Also, the intellectually and physically challenged have stumbling blocks as well. Sometimes they fall through the cracks, I have a good friend, IQ 160+, sixteen years of university. He is on disability because his mental illness is too severe for him to hold a job. Otherwise, he would be a CEO of a fortune fIve hundred company. Many damaged individuals are house bound, not drugged out or drunk, just unable to cope with the outside world.

I applaud the fact that your life permitted you to make the right choices, and that you had the skills, opportunities, and stability to achieve the American Dream. Not everyone is as fortunate. Making good choices is often predicated on the ability to do so, rather than a conscious choice to live a marginal and broken life.
 
Shalimar said:
My goodness. What about children who were abused sexually, physically, and/or emotionally for years? That level of trauma has life long effects. Even counselling has limits. Many damaged children turn to substance abuse in their adult years as an attempt to cope with unimaginable pain, as do the mentally ill, vets suffering from PTSD. Often this can lead to homelessness,

incarceration, etc. Not all the homeless, vets, children, mentally ill etc, are substance abusers, some have no place to go. Also, the intellectually and physically challenged have stumbling blocks as well. Sometimes they fall through the cracks, I have a good friend, IQ 160+, sixteen years of university. He is on disability because his mental illness is too severe for him to hold a job. Otherwise, he would be a CEO of a fortune fIve hundred company. Many damaged individuals are house bound, not drugged out or drunk, just unable to cope with the outside world.

I applaud the fact that your life permitted you to make the right choices, and that you had the skills, opportunities, and stability to achieve the American Dream. Not everyone is as fortunate. Making good choices is often predicated on the ability to do so, rather than a conscious choice to live a marginal and broken life.
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Shali says--
My goodness. What about children who were abused sexually, physically, and/or emotionally for years? That level of trauma has life long effects. ​
They still must go on and make choices for the rest of their lives Their abuse will not take that away.
 
Lon said:
Shali says--
My goodness. What about children who were abused sexually, physically, and/or emotionally for years? That level of trauma has life long effects. ​
They still must go on and make choices for the rest of their lives Their abuse will not take that away.
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Agreed, Lon. However, my point is, such heavily scarred minds are compromised. It can be difficult, or impossible, to make the best choices under those conditions.
 
Lon said:
Irrespective of whether we grew up rich or poor or some where in between we are all in our present state of living because of choices that we have made in the past.
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I think that's true to a certain degree. If you choose to drink or gamble out of control, bounce from job to job all your life, or don't work at all, throw your earnings out the window instead of putting some away into savings, etc., those negative choice will come back to bite you in the end.

If you work, save, invest wisely, and manage the money you do have in a responsible way, then you'll be better off. But, a poor person for example, may not have all the opportunities afforded to someone who is born into a rich family. Also, in my opinion, not only our choices molded our present state of living, there are outside factors that may be out of our control, that dictate how well or how poorly our current state is.

I'm lucky to have shared my life with a responsible man who joined me in saving and preparing for our present life, and not being negatively affected by outside influences. We didn't have any tragedies, destruction of property, bad health expenses, etc. to set us back....but all that may have happened through no choice of our own. We are neither rich or poor.
 
SeaBreeze said:
I think that's true to a certain degree. If you choose to drink or gamble out of control, bounce from job to job all your life, or don't work at all, throw your earnings out the window instead of putting some away into savings, etc., those negative choice will come back to bite you in the end.

If you work, save, invest wisely, and manage the money you do have in a responsible way, then you'll be better off. But, a poor person for example, may not have all the opportunities afforded to someone who is born into a rich family. Also, in my opinion, not only our choices molded our present state of living, there are outside factors that may be out of our control, that dictate how well or how poorly our current state is.

I'm lucky to have shared my life with a responsible man who joined me in saving and preparing for our present life, and not being negatively affected by outside influences. We didn't have any tragedies, destruction of property, bad health expenses, etc. to set us back....but all that may have happened through no choice of our own. We are neither rich or poor.
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Excellent post.
 
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